Posts Tagged ‘Special Needs Parenting’
We Have Years Left
As I was tucking these two in the other night, Sawyer said to his brother and I…‘I’m going to sleep in my room tonight Cooper.’ Cooper popped up quickly and distinctly shook his head and said a very serious…’no.’ This is huge for a few reasons. For one, my now ten year old just recently learned how to shake his head no. Its a skill that takes motor planning and didn’t come naturally to my sweet boy. It’s also pretty cute. He also vocalized NO. That’s new. I sat there…
Read MoreThe Days Are Long
We have been all together since Thursday at 4:30 pm. Well, actually since March, but whose keeping track. We’ve mostly been inside and haven’t really left the house. It’s cold outside so walks aren’t ideal. Coops doesn’t like to be cold and he definitely considers 24 degrees to be cold. Car rides are still a challenge for our family of five (mostly for the dad!) so we avoid those. Little people are very loud in cars. Dad doesn’t like loud and mom gets anxious because of it. And there is…
Read MoreThe Year We Were Normal
2020 has been a hard year for most. Filled with uncertainty, fear, confusion, sleepless nights, isolation and more. We call that a Tuesday in our house. Truthfully not too much has changed in 2020 for us. Yes, we have less appointments and therapies, but the fear, the isolation, the constant anxiety. That’s every day for us. Now there is talk of an end, a vaccine, a possible return to normal. People of course are debating it but the end goal of all of this, is a return to normal. Dinner…
Read MoreLet me Tell You About the Siblings
I want you to know something. I want you to know that I hear you when you say his screams are too loud. That I see you when the disappointment of delayed plans hits or when a need overshadows a want. That I understand when things don’t go the way you had hoped. I want you to know that I’m painfully aware at how much our world has tipped upside down. From the emergency c-section, to the American way of postpartum care that failed. The 14 months of 24/7 care…
Read MoreThe Purpose of Genius
The letter came with the bills, two fliers, and a reminder that I desperately need to contact a random place for my extended car warranty. I tossed the trash and ripped open the letter. The words burned in my head and my vision blurred. “Mrs. Fields, this letter is to inform you that your son, Marvin Fields, has an IQ of XX and has an Intellectual Disability.” The letter went on with all sorts of reasoning for this and the need for “immediate intervention” so “the realms of hell and…
Read MoreI Can Choose To Learn
When I think of the great teachers I have had throughout my life, I think of the typical ones many of us have had. A high school teacher. A family member. Someone we look up too but have never met. But if I was to truly answer the question honestly, I would tell you that my greatest teacher has been my son Cooper. He is 10. His autism was discovered at age 3, although it was no secret when the paper was slid across the table to us. It was…
Read MoreWe Waited Ten Years For This
Beautiful things are happening between these two brothers. Things that we weren’t sure would happen. Things we accepted may never happen. Because we just didn’t know. They have never played a game together, at least not in the traditional sense. Sawyer tried for years to engage his older brother but never had any luck. It was heartbreaking for him. But lately, Cooper is loving to wrestle, tickle, run, and chase his brothers. It came out of nowhere. It’s a gift. He laughs so deep from his belly and his face…
Read MoreChoose Kindness
When do we learn hate? At what age? It’s a question I’ve been thinking about for days now. I share these three boys and our family on Facebook. I do it for a few reasons. I want to normalize autism. I want to remove the stigma and fear from the word. I want to show the possibility. The reality. The hope and the joy. I want to educate the person who knows nothing of disability. So when they meet a child or adult like my son, they give grace. And…
Read MoreTen Years Old and Nonverbal
Nonverbal communication is a pretty amazing thing really. My son Cooper communicates mostly with sounds: Think grunts and squeals and gasps. He points a lot. And brings things to us and brings us to things. He places his hands on ours and guides them in certain ways. He touches our lips and uses his hands to turn our faces to see things. He uses his iPad to show us pictures or videos of things he wants to tell us about. He does some typing. But only words that are important…
Read MoreThe ‘Why’ of Nonverbal
I catch myself staring at my son and drifting off to another place. In this place I think of what his voice would sound like. I think of what it would sound like if he could call me Momma. Over these past few years, I’ve realized time has stood still. My son has progressed into an older version of himself. He looks older…but some parts haven’t progressed. He should be telling me no, yelling at his sister as he chases her around the house and telling me what his favorite…
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