Let me Tell You About the Siblings

I want you to know something. 

I want you to know that I hear you when you say his screams are too loud.

That I see you when the disappointment of delayed plans hits or when a need overshadows a want.

That I understand when things don’t go the way you had hoped. 

I want you to know that I’m painfully aware at how much our world has tipped upside down.

From the emergency c-section, to the American way of postpartum care that failed. The 14 months of 24/7 care and the revolving door of therapy evaluations.

And then, just as things were feeling a little more normal, the whirlwind of multiple ER visits and unanswered questions, hand in hand with too much time spent away from home. 

Believe me when I say, mom guilt is a real thing when you can’t be there. 

And it really hasn’t stopped, these unexpected flips of our little world.

Things that came down (and are still coming down) in these past short three years.

It has shaped our family in a way I never would have pictured. 

And through it all, you learned about inconsistency and unpredictability, two of your very least favorite things.

You learned to be frustrated with us, with him.

You learned to be angry. I get that. I get angry too sometimes. 

But I want you to know there is so much more to it than that. 

Because in the past three years, I see how much you’ve grown, so fast.

Slow down, baby girl. 

I see how creative and funny and excited you are about the little things. 

How hard you try. 

When it clicks, and you start to imitate the language his therapists use to help him transition a little easier.

When you get protective of him. When you get protective of yourself. 

I hear you when you say you wish you could be at the same school, because you think he would be less nervous. That’s just the sweetest. 

People don’t always talk about the siblings, the ones who are asked to be strong, adapt to the unexpected, and grow up a little bit faster. 

The ones who learn to love a little differently, listen a little more carefully, and advocate for themselves a little more loudly. 

The ones who learn resiliency. 

I want you to know that every single day, no matter how unpredictable, I still see you and your amazing self. 

And I couldn’t be prouder of the person you are.

Written by, Caitlin Downs

Caitlin Downs is a stay at home mom to two kids, ages 6 and 3. About a year after her youngest was born, some amazing early intervention therapists became part of their world to work on a speech delay and severe sensory processing issues. In 2019, unusual medical symptoms began to develop, leading to medical testing by multiple pediatric specialists. Today, the family is excited to move forward with a recent medical clearance to resume normal activities, and continue to work hard navigating the sensory world. When not blogging, Caitlin enjoys hiking, reading, and adventuring with her 2 littles. You can follow her blog page at https://www.facebook.com/tomorrowwewillstartagain/

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Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.