Posts Tagged ‘special needs family’
I Didn’t Have the Capacity For a Confrontation
Right after we moved into our current home, I registered to attend several open houses for homeschool co-ops and tutorials in this area. I will never, for as long as I live, forget one specific open house. As one of the teachers shared her plans for the fall semester, she referenced the potential number of students in her classroom based on the current number of interested families. “We have seven students…” she began. That number didn’t include Milo. I’d attended the open house with a friend who also had a son with special needs. That number didn’t include her child, either. Another teacher…
Read MoreThe Brave Ones
What is bravery? I’ve been thinking about that question lately. The definition is the quality or state of having or showing mental or moral strength to face danger, fear, or difficulty. It goes onto give examples of a brave firefighter. A brave nurse. A brave athlete. And no doubt, yes, they are brave. They face burning buildings and medical tragedies and catch the winning pass. They do things I could never do. They are brave. But I think about bravery in another way too. Imagine going out into a world…
Read MoreTo the Woman Who Stayed
To the woman who stayed… A week or so ago I found myself in a pretty tough situation out in the community. We were at an orchard with our family and friends. My son Cooper decided he was done. He was done with the apples and the tractors and the noise and sounds. And walking. Which is fine. He had done amazing. Except we were a mile away from the exit. His decision came out of nowhere. And we were stuck. My sweet misunderstood boy is 9 years old. Almost…
Read MoreOur Biggest Day
Lately, I’ve been sharing a lot of firsts for my son Cooper. Tonight, was the biggest one yet. He and I sat and watched an hour long flag football game together. He sat. He watched the timer. (Two 25 minute half’s is a long time!) He waved at his brother who was playing. He held my hand. He asked my 486 times for trains. And we were present. Together. A family of five. This wasn’t just any first. This was a first we have worked towards every day of his…
Read MoreI Never Stopped Talking To Him
Yesterday I interviewed my dear friend Leasa of Cody Speaks. If you don’t follow her you should. Her son Cody is 20. He loves videos and the mail. His autism was discovered when he was 17 months old. And he started talking at 9 years old. When she said that on the live, comments immediately came in asking what she did. What is the magic thing that got him to start talking? I understand because when I found Leasa and Cody, I asked the same question. My son was 7…
Read MoreChanging the Narrative
The other day I interviewed Joe of Joe James Autistic Awareness & Photography, an autism self advocate and all around cool guy. Each time I chat with him I spend days after reflecting on the wisdom and advice he provides me with. In our most recent interview, at least a dozen time he said, ‘I am autistic and proud.’ And at one point he said, ‘can you imagine if every autistic person said that? How the narrative of disability would change?’ Wow. Think about that for a minute. Right now,…
Read MoreA New Diagnosis
The doctor said it. She said what I knew in my heart was true. I had been waiting over a year for this appointment and she confirmed what I have suspected since Joelle was eighteen months old. But how can something you saw coming still hurt so much? I knew when my second daughter wasn’t meeting her developmental milestones. As a nurse, I saw the red flags. At her eighteen month well visit, I brought up my concerns. When her pediatrician wanted to take a wait and see approach, I…
Read MoreThe Dark Side
As a mother of a child with special needs, there are some things you just don’t say out loud. Because these things… these thoughts that occasionally loop on repeat over and over again in your head, well, they’re dark. They’re depressing. Sometimes, they’re downright scary. But these forbidden thoughts, these heartbreaking, gut-wrenching, soul-crushing thoughts that you’re often made to feel bad for having, they’re part of your reality. Part of your life. Part of the life that you didn’t choose. And if you dare speak of these dark, depressing, scary…
Read MoreOne Size Fits All
The other day I was scrolling my newsfeed and I came across a picture—a list, really—titled Reality Check. I scanned the points and as usual, my brain went right to autism. I can’t help it. Ever since my son was diagnosed fifteen years ago, I see much of the world through a spectrum lens. Hi. My name is Carrie. I have five kids, and my second son, Jack, is diagnosed with autism. When I was a New Autism Mama, I thought I could just make Jack do the things he…
Read More‘Very Nice Boy You Have Here’
Yesterday my son rode the bus for the first time to school. I was nervous. I thought about getting in my car and following but didn’t because I knew it would be great. When the bus pulled in the driveway after his school day I was waiting as the big doors opened. My first question…’how did he do?’ See, as a mom of a kid who has struggled in the past, and still does at times, I was ready. I’ve built up this armor you could say. Waiting for the…
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