Posts Tagged ‘Sister’
The Guiding Hand: A Sister’s Love for Her Autistic Brother
“Keep an eye on your brother.” I blurted it out without much consideration, absorbed in the chaos of managing my children on my own. The words were meant for my 5-year-old daughter regarding her 8-year-old brother. Their dynamic is far from typical because my son is autistic. He often requires reminders to stay safe as his attention can be fickle. We were at soccer practice, and I was setting up camp chairs. Fearing my son might wander off, his little sister listened and went over and held his hand, a…
Read MoreA Brother and Sister on Their Own Path
I have two beautiful kids, a 7 year old son and a 4 year old daughter. My son is autistic. This adds a different dynamic to their relationship, but really it’s their normal. I remember the day they first met. We were so nervous about how he would react to her. We’d practiced with baby dolls and talked about her all the time. A reminder she was coming. He had baby cousins around before, so he knew what babies were like. I was nervous about a baby that never leaves…
Read MoreLet There Be a Sister
One green, green day, the Lord looked upon the world. He admired his sons and his daughters. He smiled at all of the wonderful animals, and he gazed tenderly at each new baby. The round blue earth, with all of its people and puppies and flowers and trees, seemed complete. But the Lord was not so sure. He thought about it for a while, and then he said to himself, I am not done yet. I need someone who is a little different. Let there be a boy, he said,…
Read MoreConversations with a 4-year-old About her Brother’s Autism
A few months ago, Charlie, my 4-year-old daughter, yelled from across the room, “Mommy, look!” Her older brother, who doesn’t tend to pay her much attention, was hugging her. She said, “Does this mean he loves me now?” My heart broke. Confession: I am a bit of a hypocrite. I advocate for autism awareness and everyone talking to their children about autism and I really hadn’t done it myself with my neurotypical child. We talk about differences and kindness and why everyone we meet is special, but we hadn’t had…
Read MoreMust Love Autism
“Do you have any siblings?” It’s a classic first date question, and rightfully so — it’s simple and seemingly painless to answer. It leads to an easy conversation. I can’t blame anyone for asking. “Yep, I have a younger brother, Alex,” I’ll reply. The follow-up question is almost always the same. “How old is he?” “He’s 23. We’re almost exactly 18 months apart. He has autism,” I always add quickly. As soon as I say it I wait for the reaction. A lot of the time people respond by listing…
Read MoreDear Mom, I Turned Out Okay
Dear Mom, I know raising my brother, who has a disability, takes a toll on you in more ways than one could imagine. Being your child without the disability, I know you struggled with if you were doing right by me. If your time devoted to my brother, affected me in a way that judged you as an inadequate mother. How do I know you struggled with these roller coaster of emotions? How do I know it was hard for you to manage being both my brother’s caretaker and a…
Read MoreRaising a Future Advocate
Dear fellow momma at my sons therapy center, Today, you may have heard my oldest ask, “who’s that yelling?” I thought we covered autism, but I was so focused on explaining her brother’s autism, I forgot to go into detail about the whole spectrum. I took this as a teaching moment, but you weren’t in the car with us. There’s no way you would know this. My daughter is the sweetest, most compassionate kid I know. She’s also naturally very curious. Her question stemmed from curiosity. But we talked about…
Read MoreStay Humble and Kind my Lovely Daughters
Dear Elena, Sage and Kimber, I thank you for your compassion and unconditional love. Your little sister has taught you so much in your short years. Her Autism has challenged you to learn patience, and then laughter. It has taught you a sixth sense of protection and selflessness. You are blessed, you see not many kids or even adults understand this. Her mischievous smile and laugh bring you back to simplicity. At your age I didn’t have these responsibilities that you so readily help me with. She has taught you more in…
Read MoreNo Autism, Just Love
“Today has been tough. Aubrey has told me all day long, “I don’t want a brother.” Multiple times, and always very serious and sad. I asked her why she felt that way and she said, “Because he just cries too much.” I froze. Aside from wanting to tell her that she does the same and yet we still keep her around, I decided to give her grace instead. I tried to explain to her why her brother gets upset sometimes, and has a hard time staying calm, and that it’s…
Read MoreWho Wouldn’t Want a Brother like you?
To my son on his 3rd birthday: You’ve been through so much in your first three years of life. And no I’m not just talking about the eight surgeries you had before you were two years old. Or the daily therapy sessions and weekly doctor appointments. I’m talking about your relationship with your two siblings. Your brother has Autism and is sensitive to touch. Your sister prefers to be by herself and likes her space. I see you making friends everywhere we go. The park, the grocery store, restaurants, whoever…
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