Posts Tagged ‘severe autism’
Maybe I am Delusional
I read your comment this morning. It was mostly a bunch of gibberish. I will never, ever understand why trolls have such terrible grammar. If you want to attack me, please don’t make me decipher what you are saying. But anyhow, this was one of my favorites of all time. You targeted my looks. Funny. You went after my kids too. Mostly Cooper. An 8 year old boy. You don’t seem to like him much. Which is weird. Because you don’t have to follow him. But I get it. The…
Read MoreThe Difference One Year Makes
Our family had a wonderful Easter day. We spent the day at my parent’s house. The boys had an Easter Egg Hunt and each got baskets. Their baskets were filled with goodies. Cooper especially loved his train magazines and flash cards. I saw so many amazing positives in Cooper’s day. Ones that others outside our world might not notice. He was so excited to get an Easter basket for one. Last year, he didn’t notice. Or care. He ate treats. Yes, you read that right. Cooper used to be so…
Read MoreReminding Myself to Breathe
It’s been so long since I have expressed my deepest feelings on paper. Maybe it is the hectic environment in which I live, maybe it’s the denial that splashes my mind every morning, or the guilt that is seeded deep within me. Uncertainty is my demon that gnaws away at my confidence to parent the way I need to. It is difficult to grasp the concept of my everyday jealousy of ‘normal parents with normal children.’ Our life is anything but. Some days my life consists of washing smeared feces…
Read MoreSafety in the Car
I get asked ALL the time about Cooper’s medical alert seatbelt cover. We love it so much and I won’t travel without it. In an emergency situation, these shoulder belt covers quickly convey crucial information that a child or adult may not be able to express by themselves. As many of you know, having a nonverbal child comes with unique challenges. Cooper can’t communicate verbally. He doesn’t always respond to his name or acknowledge questions. He has slow processing times. And even if he is able to respond, he doesn’t…
Read MoreAt the End of the Day I have Nothing Left
At the end of the day I have nothing left to give. You could say it’s because I have three kids. Three boys actually. 8, 6 and 6 months. One husband. Two dogs. A house. A job. A website. Friends, family and obligations. You could say it’s the time of my life. 35 years old is the busy time. My life is full. Full of laughter, love, chaos, dirty laundry, trains and hockey. And I love every minute of it. You could also say it’s because I am up before…
Read MoreWhat if it was Me?
For me, my darkest secret is that I feel, and sometimes it feels like I know, that I caused my son’s autism. And his struggles. It breaks my heart. And the guilt chases me day and night. It all started when I read an article about how trauma as a child could cause autism. The mothers were described as ‘refrigerator mums’ and if I’m honest that was me. My eldest two children were, and are neurotypical, thriving, chatty, oh, so chatty girls. My son is nonverbal, epileptic, low functioning autistic…
Read MoreTopics We Don’t Talk About
I’ve been trying to find the words for a few days now. But coming up empty. I’ve been processing. Trying to understand, justify, explain and fix. But I haven’t been able to do any of those things yet. Instead I’ve felt sad. And ashamed. Worried. Confused. There are no child development books on this. We’ve entered a new stage of development. Hitting. It’s happened twice now. Fast. Quick. Out of the blue. His hands. My face. And I’ve quickly learned it’s a taboo subject. Parents don’t talk about it. We…
Read MoreThe Issues that Divide Us
I have 2 teenage girl with autism. My oldest Claudia has very limited language and severe behaviors. She requires assistance with most everything. My youngest Keira is verbal and has social and behavior issues. Our life is not easy. Lately our family spends a lot of time divided. Claudia has a lot of verbal stims (saying same word repeatedly) and some of these can trigger a meltdown in Keira. When this happens (usually with little warning) my husband takes Claudia for a ride or to go swing. I generally spend…
Read MoreA Harsh Reality
That moment when you realize your child’s diagnosis is far worse than you originally thought. It was almost as if I couldn’t catch my breath. Like someone was choking me. I cried as if someone had died. It sounds harsh, but trust me when I say that’s how it felt. I always knew my son Isaiah was special. From the moment he was born, I knew my boy was going to be somewhat different and not live a completely “normal” life. That was my Mom gut instinct. He was born…
Read MoreMy Promise to You
My son. My promise to you. I will do everything in my power to keep you safe. I will do everything I can to understand what you need. And why you act the way you do. I will defend your behavior. I will advocate for you. I will explain. Teach. And speak on your behalf when you need me too. And if there comes a day when you can speak for yourself, I will stand proudly behind you. I will be a buffer between you and the world. I will…
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