The Difference One Year Makes
Our family had a wonderful Easter day.
We spent the day at my parent’s house. The boys had an Easter Egg Hunt and each got baskets.
Their baskets were filled with goodies.
Cooper especially loved his train magazines and flash cards.
I saw so many amazing positives in Cooper’s day. Ones that others outside our world might not notice.
He was so excited to get an Easter basket for one. Last year, he didn’t notice. Or care.
He ate treats. Yes, you read that right.
Cooper used to be so picky that he refused most candy.
This year, he was grabbing his own jelly beans. By the handful. Until we caught him of course.
Cooper used to ONLY, and I mean only, eat foods out of bowls.
2 Starbursts…must be in a bowl. Granola Bar…must be in a bowl.
Eating chips out of a bag…no way. But yesterday, he found a candy dish and dove in. Made this mama’s heart smile.
He went outside for the egg hunt. He even picked up 3 eggs on his own before going back inside.
I was so proud of him. And he even seemed to enjoy it!
Last year he would have never participated. Not even for a second.
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Nailing the Easter Egg Hunt for a limited period of time. #easteregghunt
He was noticeably calm throughout the day. He moved around. He sat. He went outside a few times. He ate dinner. (Chicken nuggets of course!)
There was very little stress. And I can’t even begin to put into words how wonderful that felt.
Typically, we have to leave family outings like this one early and suddenly. When Cooper is done he is done. That’s hard on our family, especially Sawyer.
Not this year.
I wanted to share a little post from last year on Easter. I’m sharing it to tell you that the growth isn’t always in our children. It’s in us as parents too.
For so many years, holidays ended badly. Jamie and I fighting. Cooper melting down. Sawyer upset. A long car ride home filled with screaming and throwing. And of course vowing to never go back.
For our family, it’s getting better. Little by little. Bit by bit.
I 100% credit starting our son on anti-anxiety medication. It’s been life changing for not only him, but our whole family. Now we can sit for a bit and talk to family.
It’s like we are able to breathe. And it’s absolutely wonderful.
From Easter 2018:
‘You know how you see all those perfect families on Facebook and you wonder….is that real? Yeah, that’s not my family. Our family is filled with noise, chaos, autism, smiles and messes. And it’s pretty great if you ask me. Today, we dyed Easter Eggs with Sawyer. I used to get REALLY, and I mean REALLY, bummed that Cooper refused to participate in family stuff. It hurt. It stung. I’m better now. I’m seven years in. The sting is still there. I won’t lie to you. But, I can prepare for it now. And I can handle it better.
The rule in our house is you come to the ‘table’ for 60 seconds. We don’t force anything on Cooper. Not ever. It’s just not worth the meltdown that will follow. But we do ask him to be present for a minute. To take in what’s happening. To be exposed to new things. You can see by his face he was less than thrilled. And then he was off to watch trains in the living room. He tried. We tried. And that’s enough.
To the parents of newly diagnosed children…I understand. What I wouldn’t give to have my son decorate Valentines, visit Santa, dye Easter Eggs, or Trick-or-Treat. Don’t give up though. It may not get better…but you will get stronger.’
I remember how I felt last Easter. Like so many holidays before, I was sad that Cooper didn’t care about his Easter basket. Or pick up one egg that Jamie and I hid.
My feelings weren’t wrong. I want you to know that. But as people we adjust. We lower expectations. We relax. We don’t put so much pressure on a holiday.
And this year, our amazing kid surprised us.
I hope everyone had a beautiful weekend. We sure did.
Notice our hands in this photo? Cooper ‘asks’ us to hold his hands during photos or other times where he needs to be still. It calms him and helps him keep his body still.
Sawyer often does the same thing. It’s pretty sweet. Pretty cute boys if you ask me.
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