Posts Tagged ‘severe autism’
Time is a Thief
Twenty months old. That’s how old you were when we welcomed your sister into our family. You wouldn’t go near her at first, and even now you rarely act like you notice her. Leading up to her arrival everyone would ask if you were excited to have a baby sister. They would ask if you showed interest in my growing belly. You didn’t notice it one bit. It didn’t phase you even a little. They would talk about how fun it would be to have two so close in age.…
Read MoreImagine Something Hurts
Imagine something hurts. But you can’t tell anyone. You want too. You try even. But it comes out in different ways. Ways that people don’t understand. You try to get attention. But they won’t listen. You scream. You hit your head. Because that’s where the pain is. The screaming makes people frustrated. The hitting makes people stare. You drop to the ground because you are exhausted. You roll. You try to get the pain out of your head by pressing your ear to the cold, cool ground. People stare more.…
Read MoreThe World Outside of Our Home
One of the most amazing things that has happened in the last few months is our son’s desire to leave our home. To go places. To try things. And to communicate about it. We never went anywhere for years. Seven years to be exact. We were always home. Safely inside triple locked doors and fences. We went to therapy, the occasional doctor’s trip, and to see grandparents but that was it. When we did go somewhere we always had to drive the same route. Do the same things. See the…
Read MoreOur Kids are Life Long Learners
If I could go back in time, 6 years ago, and tell myself one thing and one thing only…it would be… Let me paint the picture for you first. I was just given a lifelong diagnosis for my child but no direction on how to help him. I was a scared mama. I was 28. This was my first baby. We lived in rural Minnesota and there was no help. No other kids like our son. I wasn’t hearing positive things either. Instead I was told things like, he will…
Read MoreMaybe It’s About Being Real
I’m the kind of person who is always searching for some big cosmic reason for things. I search for answers. Signs. I think way too much. I wonder why and how. I wonder how it all ends. As I get older, I’m learning that maybe it isn’t so much about understanding why. Maybe it’s about becoming the best version of yourself so you can become the best parent, advocate, protector, and teacher for your child. Maybe it’s about showing the world how amazing life can be when it turns out…
Read MoreThe Secrecy of Aggressive Behaviors
When your child hurts you… It’s happening in homes all over the country. Including ours. What would you do if a random stranger came up on the street and slapped you? Well, depending on how my mood was and how many hours of sleep I got the night before, I assume I’d either call the police or puck them right back. Both are natural reactions. But what do you do when it’s your own kid hurting you? When the frustration of not being understood gets to be too much for…
Read MoreLearning to Lean Into the Fear
Sometimes I will be sitting in my living room, watching my son, and all of a sudden feel fear. It will come out of nowhere almost consuming my thoughts. Paralyzing me. I’ll see a flash of the future. A glimpse twenty years from now. It’s not fear of the diagnosis. Or the label. Not anymore. It’s not fear of being different or standing out. Nope, we embrace that here. And it’s not fear of paving our own path. Because there is beauty in achieving milestones and goals at a different…
Read MoreAdvocating for your Child’s Health
A wonderful medical professional once told me something that changed my way of thinking forever. She wasn’t some big huge doctor. I didn’t wait months for my son to get an appointment with her. And yet, she changed his life. My nonverbal son was sick. Really sick. But because he didn’t show the typical signs, I didn’t know. No fever. No ‘my head hurts.’ No pointing. No saying ‘ow.’ Instead I was seeing a lot of self injuring. He wasn’t sleeping. So much screaming. More gaining control through behaviors. And…
Read MoreAs Moms, We are only One Person
I read something the other day. It said that it appears that I neglect my middle son. I don’t share him enough. I wasn’t angry. Although it was Christmas Eve so I did side eye her timing. People say lots of things and don’t really fully understand that I share mere minutes of our day. Sometimes seconds. In fact, it got me thinking about motherhood. And time. Not love because we all know we love our children equally. Although I tend to increase mine a hair towards the ones who…
Read MoreEvery Single Day is his Best Day
Most mornings feels the same to me as the mom. Most days the same too. Kids. Work. Cooking. Cleaning. Up too early. Wondering if my son will ever learn to sleep in and if the other one will ever sleep through the night. I mentally taking note of everything that needs to happen to get the day started while praying that my husband programmed the coffee pot to brew so it’s ready when I get downstairs. Cooper is on the couch surrounded by photos of his family, owls, penguins and…
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