Finding Shared Understanding: Care for the Caregiver Retreat 2023

A few weeks ago, I had the incredible opportunity to attend the Care for the Caregiver Retreat in Minnesota, put on by the More Than a Project and Finding Cooper’s Voice. It’s hard to put into words the sense of camaraderie and love I experienced during that time. When my son was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder three and a half years ago, I withdrew into myself. Even before the diagnosis, our family had become isolated. Going out in public became a challenge as I couldn’t bear the judgmental stares…

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The Battles and Blessings of Anxiety

The past couple of days have been tough ones. A triple dose of my daughter Casadee’s struggles with socializing and anxiety. We had planned a dinner date with her ‘boyfriend’ and his family so we could give Manny his birthday gift. Casadee had been looking forward to it and talking about it for days. We know plans with Casadee don’t always work out because of her social anxiety, so we are playing it cool and not saying much about it. Little reminders here and there. We’ve learned you can’t spring…

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Each Day I Am A Little Bit Stronger

Each day I am a little bit stronger. After the drive home from diagnosis day. I am a little bit stronger. After crying all night long about a different future. I am a little bit stronger. After each and every meltdown my child has. I am a little bit stronger. After each appointment where I am told you have once again not met a milestone. I am a little bit stronger. After another Diagnosis. Autism, Apraxia and ADHD! I am a little bit stronger. After being told you would be…

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Love Needs No Words

There are many challenges when a little one can’t speak. Is she sick or tired or just having a rough day or week? What is she thinking or feeling right now? I know there’s more inside, but how do I reach her? How? Will she play and interact with me? Or is she just content flitting to and fro like a bee? Then I think of things that need no words, She knows I’m Mom, and I know I’m hers. I’ll be there for her, To advocate, teach and pray.…

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The Measurement of Milestones

Measurement – it’s a natural human instinct. We measure time, distance, capacity, success, and achievement. Many forms of measurement I understand; time and distance for example facilitate civilizations’ successful functioning. There are however some forms of measurement that lack the same definition and purpose. Parents worldwide often over analyze a measurement: the measurement of milestones. From the moment you become a parent other, often well intentioned, people question you with regards to your child’s development. Your email inbox highlights notifications of what abilities your growing baby should have. Mothers’ groups…

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My Fears for My Autistic Daughter

There are so many things I worry about when it comes to my autistic daughter. Raising a vulnerable child comes with so many fears. Some of these things are things we all worry about.  I have four children and I worry about them all.  The intensity and degree of worry when it comes to Alyssa is so intensified. My biggest fear is what will happen when I’m gone. This brings me to my knees, it terrifies me.  Me and autism have long battled with control. I like control and so…

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Autism Times Two

On September 1, 2022, our youngest daughter Lucy was diagnosed on the autism spectrum. Almost exactly two years after her big sister, Opal. It may come as a shock to some, but I have tried to talk openly about how we had concerns that Lucy may be autistic too. Lucy and Opal are complete opposites, and I know to some people that would seem to mean that Lucy couldn’t possibly be autistic, but this couldn’t be further from the truth. Autism is different for everyone. You will never meet two…

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The Caregiver Retreat I Didn’t Know I Needed

I really was anxious about the carpool ride that was arranged to get to the More Than a Caregiver Respite Retreat this past weekend.  I was desperate to drive, convincing myself that I probably needed five hours each way to decompress. Even that the silence may help me more than friending.  Turns out, I was so anxious about it that my breakup the carpool text never got sent. Then it was too late, these three were on the way, they showed up, we hugged quickly and I piled in. As…

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