Posts Tagged ‘isolation’
Watching the Anxiety Release its Hold on Him
I never knew a child could have anxiety. I fully admit that. If you would’ve told me five years ago that anxiety could completely control a child’s life, and the child’s family’s lives, I would have probably laughed at you. I would have said something like, ‘what does a child have to be anxious about?’ I was ignorant. I didn’t know. I was naïve. I was clueless. Well, the universe had a way of showing me. My son’s anxiety is brutal. It controls every aspect of his life. It controls…
Read MoreBesties Growing Up Together
I’m sitting here on my lonely bench, watching the friends I grew up with laugh, enjoy each other’s company and continue to build the amazing relationships that I SO desperately want to be apart of. I’m watching what should have been my life right before me and it stings hard. Like only the raw, heartbroken teenage-outcast burn can sting. Except….. I’m not a teenager. These are not my friends and this is not my life…but damn it feels so hard on my heart. Honestly, this is the best way I…
Read MoreA Family of Five
‘I think it’s terrible that you go places without Cooper all the time. I think you are awful, awful parents. And you are teaching your other children that Cooper doesn’t matter. Shame on you.’ -An excerpt of a recent email from a super fan. Very little amazes me on this blogging journey anymore. Even an email like this one. But what does amaze me is how people still don’t understand the agonizing decisions that special needs parents have to make every day. And that even though we make the tough…
Read MoreThe Child Before the Diagnosis
We were standing on our patio and a plane flew close above us. It was loud and very easy to spot. “Look guys, a plane!” My 20 month old son followed my finger and he pointed too and smiled, “Ah, plann,” he said. I smiled with him. It looked nice against the crisp sky with everything around us covered in snow. I looked over at my daughter who had her back to us and was smiling too. She was still looking opposite us into the sky searching for a plane.…
Read MoreI Wished this Version of Autism didn’t Exist
Unanswered questions and the fear of the unknown, Kept me awake at night and I felt so alone. People saying, “He’ll grow out it”, or Autism is a gift, Had no idea what they were saying, I wished this version of Autism didn’t exist. Robbing a child of their voice and basic life skills isn’t being blessed, It’s heartbreaking to watch, and leaves you all feeling distressed. Advocates and other Autism Mum’s may isolate you for being negative, They claim that to the ‘Autism world’ you’re being insensitive. Maybe it’s…
Read MoreThe World Deserves to Know Him
We have always been very diligent in letting our son interact with the world. At 19, he is 6’3” and 230lbs. If he were the same boy as he was at 6 or 12, he could not be living with us. We could not handle him at this size. It’s been scary, difficult, unpredictable and emotionally hard. Time consuming and physically demanding at times. But with a neurotypical daughter who is an avid athlete, we knew he had to be acclimated to her world and the world. As much as…
Read MoreSevere Autism Venturing Out into the Community
Because sometimes you just have to get out of the house! I’m setting a goal of getting out of the house. The isolation is getting to us. It’s been so many years. And honestly, I feel like it’s now or never. We are going to start venturing out weekly. Short trips. Non busy times. Zero expectations. If it goes badly we will just leave. Once a week minimum. Every parent I talk to with older autistic children tells me the same thing. Just start going. And keep trying. I want…
Read MoreFriend, My World is Different
Dear what could have been friend, And I say could have, but it’s not you, it’s me. Typical, right? But hear me out. I am generally a good person. And I don’t mean that in a boasting/bragging kinda way, just a that’s kinda how you should be way. Treat people the way you want to be treated, and all that. And you see I want this, I really do. I wish that every time you asked me a question I wasn’t simultaneously watching my child like a hawk. And it’s…
Read MoreIt Could Be…
Yesterday I picked up my son from therapy and I knew instantly that something was off. He was with his favorite therapist. The one he absolutely adores. As I sat in my car watching her come out of the building with him, I immediately noticed how he was darting a bit. He was pulling away from her. Waving his arms. And my stomach dropped. I knew right then. Something was wrong. I jumped out and greeted him the way I always do. Like I haven’t seen him in years. I…
Read MoreWill it Always Feel This Way?
I’ve been crying a lot lately. The list of public places in which I’ve broken down is growing and I’m not sure if I should be glad I have the ability to let it all out or if it’s reaching an unhealthy point. A few weeks ago it was a Chic-fil-a while I watched my kids play. There are parking lots all over this city that have seen my tears. My steering wheel has tried to comfort me to no avail. Today, it was the parking lot of an arts…
Read More