Posts Tagged ‘caregiver’
To Our Second Child: A Mother’s Struggle With Infertility
To our Second Child, I want to start by saying your dad and I love you very much. You have always been planned. I say that because people might make jokes about our age or the age difference between you and your brother. You have been planned since the day your brother was born. I pictured having two kids, I envisioned you and your brother playing in the backyard while I watched out the kitchen window. I always thought you would be two or three years younger than Henry. Those…
Read MoreThe Glass Child
Glass child is a term used to define a sibling who has a brother or sister with a disability. These siblings are unique individuals and they often sacrifice time with their parents. This often leads to stress as their parents are often dealing with challenging behaviors, constant therapies and doctor appointments. They strive to be cared for and their emotional needs being met. The list can go on and on. In the end, what they get from their parents at the end of the day is only a fraction of…
Read MoreWeightless
When I share about parenting my autistic son, I often use the word ‘intense.’ Like you are in a crowded room and someone turns the temperature dial up bit by bit. Slowly at first. Then faster. Tick tick boom. Or I’ve even said it’s a game of negotiation. Me talking him off or on the ledge. There are no little things with his autism. Only big. It’s like his mind won’t let his body be calm. Like they are at odds. And it comes out of him. His body can’t…
Read MoreA Diagnosis For My Boy
Four years ago I watched you from my son’s bedroom window as you went back and forth with your colleague in your car– attempting to convince her that my son had autism. You both had just evaluated him. I understood the urgency– I knew that you understood. I didn’t have a fancy job title and didn’t have an outwardly impact on our society. I didn’t possess any powers and my neighbors didn’t know my name. I didn’t have anything to give or anything to spend other than being the best…
Read MoreWe Have to Follow the Rules
Sometimes, I feel like all we have are rules. There’s rules and restrictions for everything in our house. My son Daniel is six and has autism and ADHD. He loves playing with toys, but they easily frustrate him. Especially if they have small pieces, can break easily, or have a lot of accessories. There’s a toy he has from Incredibles 2 that was taken away recently because it made him mad. He wants to play with all his toys at once, but he doesn’t understand that when you mix and…
Read MoreLove Him Through It
What if all we had to do was love our children? Love them through their mistakes, their poor judgment, their outbursts. Their vulnerabilities. Their moods. Their highs and lows. My son Jack is diagnosed with autism. He is eighteen. For eighteen years, doctors and therapists have told me what to do. Use social stories, try medication, redirect his obsessions. No one ever told me to simply love him. Love the way his hair smells after a bath. Love the way his chubby fingers grip a pencil. Love how earnestly, carefully he…
Read MoreDear Autism Momma
Dear Autism Momma, I’m sorry. I didn’t know then what I do now. I didn’t understand. I’m sorry that when your child was having a meltdown in the grocery store, instead of offering to help or extending compassion, I walked away judging how in the world you could let your child act that way. I’m sorry that when your child sat in the grocery cart long after expected, I didn’t extend grace. All I could think about were the “rules” and how no one ever followed them like my children…
Read More5 Things to Offer a Special Needs Mom Who’s Struggling
You see the posts, you hear the stories, but you don’t always know how to help….. You don’t have a child with special needs, but your friend or a family member does. You want to do something, but are unsure of where to start. Here are five ideas that have been life-changing for me. Remind her that she’s doing a great job. When she’s in the toughest times she’s doubting herself, she’s wondering if it’s her fault, if she will ever make it through. Reach out, remind her how amazing…
Read More24 Things I Wish I Knew Before My Son’s Autism Diagnosis
Our son was diagnosed with autism at age 6. Although it has only been 3 years since diagnosis, there are many things I wished I knew then that I know now. I remember we felt like we were navigating the journey blind. We felt so alone and isolated, and it was a lot of trial and error. There wasn’t a guidebook on how to navigate the world of autism. So here are 24 things I wished I knew in hopes that it helps someone who is newly diagnosed: 1. Contact…
Read MoreA Brother and Sister on Their Own Path
I have two beautiful kids, a 7 year old son and a 4 year old daughter. My son is autistic. This adds a different dynamic to their relationship, but really it’s their normal. I remember the day they first met. We were so nervous about how he would react to her. We’d practiced with baby dolls and talked about her all the time. A reminder she was coming. He had baby cousins around before, so he knew what babies were like. I was nervous about a baby that never leaves…
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