‘What Kind of Autism Does He Have?’

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I get that question a lot lately. It typically comes from someone new to my life.

A fellow sports parent.
A stranger at a party.
A grandparent at the park.

See when I tell people I have four kids, ages 2 to 13, people ask questions.

What schools do they go too?
What sports do they play?
Do you know so and so?

My son is 13 too!

I tell them about each of my kids, with pride and love and humor. I share stories like all moms. The stories are what connect us.

Babies who don’t sleep. Threenagers who push the limits. Tips to get grass stains out of white baseball pants. The challenges of raising these tiny humans.

And my yellow haired boy who has autism.

‘What kind of autism does he have?’

The question comes from a curious place typically. A kind one too. And sometimes I will hear hope in a person’s question.

Hoping it’s the ‘good’ kind.

See I think for so long our society has painted severe nonverbal autism with a dark color. A stain even. The hardest parts of the diagnosis rising to the top.

And most people don’t understand that he is just a boy. He is 13 years old. He is a seventh grader.

He wants to have a pool party with his friends and visit a trampoline park.

He rides horses. And plays Miracle League. Next week he has his first school dance. I ordered him a tuxedo t-shirt.

He is a brother and a son and a grandson. And some day maybe a brother-in-law. And an uncle.

He’s waiting for 5 movies to come in the mail. Each one is about Steam Trains.

He can spell and read and tell time. He’s wants to take the Amtrak to Chicago. He adores birthday parties.

He can say 25 or so words. He uses sign language and a speech device and has no trouble getting his point across.

His name is Cooper. He is unapologetically himself.

He is just a boy. A typical, normal, average, every day boy who happens to have autism.

He needs help in a lot of areas. Accommodations too. And patience. Kindness. Understanding.

I supposed you could say he has the kind of autism that not a lot of people talk about. But we do.

Because he is so much more. And no one should be reduced to just their hard parts. No one.

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook.

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Kate Swenson

Kate Swenson lives in Minnesota with her husband Jamie, and four children, Cooper, Sawyer, Harbor and Wynnie. Kate launched Finding Cooper's Voice from her couch while her now 11-year-old son Cooper was being diagnosed with autism. Back then it was a place to write. Today it is a living, thriving community of people who want to not only advocate for autism, but also make the world a better place for individuals with disabilities and their families. Her first book, Forever Boy, will be released, April 5, 2022.

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