Posts Tagged ‘Brothers’
Keep Moving Forward
So, I am sitting here, once again thinking about progress. And how important it is to stand still and reflect on much can change in a year. See, we stood still for years in the progress department. Any movement felt backwards. As a mom, I simply could not figure out how to get us moving forward. I felt like I was beating my head against a wall at times. But time, it has a way of happening. And all of a sudden, I look back and realize, we are in…
Read MoreTwo Brothers, Both Perfect
From day one, my boys have been entirely different. One loves playing, sports, friends, toys, eating, and sleeping. The other one…not so much. One loves parades, fireworks, Easter egg hunts and carving pumpkins. So much so that he can hardly stand waiting. Pumpkin carving is supposed to be happening tonight, when the whole family is here. But he can’t stand it. He’s just so excited. It’s the first thing he asked for this morning when he woke up and his immediate request when he got off the bus. The other one…
Read MoreGive Your Child A Voice
This morning I had a conversation with my nonverbal son. A real one without words. To all of the mamas and dads out there with children who do not speak verbally, hang on. Never give up hope. Keep working towards functional communication. I sat on the couch drinking my coffee. He sat next to me immersed in his trains. I asked him if something happened at school yesterday. He grunted ‘yea.’ I asked him if there was a little boy who frustrates him. He grunted ‘yea.’ Now this isn’t the…
Read MoreWhen “It’s Fine” Means “It’s Not Fine”
When Mason’s therapists and I hit a roadblock, I turned to my special needs support group for ideas on why Mason was so apt to keep his brother from enjoying anything outside of watching Mickey Mouse. Why did he follow his brother around non-stop? Parenting and scolding, every second of every day? Why did he feel so entitled to every toy in the house, even those he most definitely disliked? Then someone had a brilliant, but heartbreaking suggestion. Maybe Mason had realized that his brother was surpassing him in some…
Read MoreI Will Carry Cooper Mama
When Sawyer was three he asked me if we could go to a fair. I of course said…’yes, but we have to wait until summer.’ Per the usual he said to me…’can my brother go?’ I told him no. His face immediately fell. ‘Cooper can’t go with us buddy.’ I went onto explain how the fair will be too scary for him. ‘Too many sounds and people for Cooper.’ He thought about that for a minute and then looked up at me and said….’is that because he has autism?’ And…
Read MoreAge is just a Number in our World
‘You prepare yourself as a parent for siblings to pass your disabled child by. But wait until your grandkids do too. That one will take your breath away.’ That comment. It was said to me, with love, from a mom that had been doing this for 57 years. Her son is 22. He’s like my amazing Cooper. Nonverbal. Severe. Smart. Funny. Loving. He will need lifelong care. He will forever need help bathing and brushing his teeth. He will never pay taxes or have a job. He will never get…
Read MoreSawyer, My Brother and your Brother are Both Autistic
A few weeks ago, Sawyer received a handwritten letter in the mail from a boy named Dylan. He is 13. He has a brother with autism too. I sobbed when I read it. This little boy’s letter started a conversation I have been so desperately wanting to have with my son. Thank you Dylan and his mom. Take a read. Dear Sawyer, My name is Dylan and I am 13 years old and live in Texas. My mom watches your mom on the computer. She told me about you and…
Read MoreWho Wouldn’t Want a Brother like you?
To my son on his 3rd birthday: You’ve been through so much in your first three years of life. And no I’m not just talking about the eight surgeries you had before you were two years old. Or the daily therapy sessions and weekly doctor appointments. I’m talking about your relationship with your two siblings. Your brother has Autism and is sensitive to touch. Your sister prefers to be by herself and likes her space. I see you making friends everywhere we go. The park, the grocery store, restaurants, whoever…
Read MoreTell Them He’s Autistic Mama
We were swimming in the pool at the hotel. It was our fourth time in two days. My boys love water. It’s the one and only activity that the two oldest will actually do together. It’s also an activity that we can all enjoy. We would spend all of our time in the pool if we could. Sawyer is always drawn to other kids. He’s been that way his whole life. If he sees a little kid enter the water, he will be with him or her. Cooper, he’s oblivious.…
Read MoreTo the Mother with her Adult Son at Thomas the Train
To the mother with her adult son at Thomas the Train: You had the oldest child here. I’m guessing he was 25. Your son was tall. He was a man. He even towered over you. I saw him immediately when you arrived. He was practically levitating he was so excited. It was like he had an aura around him. His joy. It radiated. He ran in. Loud. Arms a moving. He ran right up to Thomas and started chatting to himself. Fingers stimming. Head down. Twisting back and forth like…
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