Posts Tagged ‘autism’
Permission to Grieve
What I want the world to know about being a mom of a child with autism is that it is coupled with grief. I love my daughter. With every ounce of my being. She brings me joy and hope every single day. She teaches me patience, perspective, and that there is more than one way to do EVERYTHING. But I was not unprepared for the grief. When you hear that you are going to have a baby your brain starts dreaming of the life that will soon be. So many…
Read More24 Things I Wish I Knew Before My Son’s Autism Diagnosis
Our son was diagnosed with autism at age 6. Although it has only been 3 years since diagnosis, there are many things I wished I knew then that I know now. I remember we felt like we were navigating the journey blind. We felt so alone and isolated, and it was a lot of trial and error. There wasn’t a guidebook on how to navigate the world of autism. So here are 24 things I wished I knew in hopes that it helps someone who is newly diagnosed: 1. Contact…
Read MoreA Brother and Sister on Their Own Path
I have two beautiful kids, a 7 year old son and a 4 year old daughter. My son is autistic. This adds a different dynamic to their relationship, but really it’s their normal. I remember the day they first met. We were so nervous about how he would react to her. We’d practiced with baby dolls and talked about her all the time. A reminder she was coming. He had baby cousins around before, so he knew what babies were like. I was nervous about a baby that never leaves…
Read MoreWe Used to Dread Haircuts
Progress. That is what this photo shows. Night and day progress. Years ago, taking this photo would not have been possible. Instead, I would be standing right next to Lucas and his Dad on the other side. I couldn’t take him alone. That would be a disaster. His hair would be so long it would become unmanageable. Washing it was too hard, so we’d have to make the dreaded appointment. I’d wear the least amount of clothing possible. Why? Because my body temperature would rise in an instant. My face…
Read MoreThe Journey We Didn’t Expect
We sat in this room the night before you arrived. We were scared, terrified, really. I got a call that morning saying the state of Louisiana had a little 3-year-old boy who was nonverbal in the foster care system. Do you want this placement, Mrs. Marler? She asked! I instantly said YES!! I called my husband immediately, telling him the good news. He was so excited until the moment I said this little three-year-old boy is nonverbal and might have autism. The phone went silent. My husband and I both…
Read MoreTo the Mom of the Toddler That Won’t
To the mom of the toddler that won’t sit still at mom and me music class. To the mom of the toddler that won’t interact with other kids at Gymboree. To the mom that is chasing her toddler around Gymboree while the other moms are standing chatting pushing their kids on the swings. I just want to say I see you. I was you. I was the mom that sat in her car after buckling her boy in his car seat, wearing sunglasses trying not to let her boy see…
Read MoreSomeone Asked Me When I Accepted Autism
Someone asked me the other day when I accepted autism. The mom asking was early into her autism journey and honestly wondering when the moment comes. I could not answer. There was not a defining moment. It took me years to come to terms with the direction our lives took and every day I figure it out a little more, but I don’t think I will ever fully accept it. I will always wonder. I am human. That does not mean I do not accept my daughter for who she…
Read MoreTo the Woman Who Loved My Daughter Like Her Own
Today is 20 years since you have passed, and the void is forever there. The love you stamped our hearts with is carried with us every day. You are forever missed. A that tribute doesn’t even come close to explaining how amazing and how loved you are. More than a grandmother. Watching my daughter sit on your lap as you sit at the table seems like the most natural thing in the world. Except sometimes it’s not. A nana sitting with her grand baby is something you can take for…
Read MoreAutism Is Autism and Your Words Can Hurt
Comments are made; often in the passing, sometimes with direction. I wonder how deeply some people think about what they say to others. Do they consider if they use hurtful words? I’ve been so fortunate during my journey thus far into motherhood. I have received so much support for the way our children are growing. Sometimes, the narrative changes direction. Sometimes, people are surprised to discover autism is a part of our world. It puzzles me. Honestly, with a little knowledge, it is blatantly obvious how neurodivergence is interwoven around…
Read MoreI Have Some Big Dreams for My Autistic Son
Just look at him sitting there, Sweatpants, t-shirt, in his comfy chair. His hair is too long, one hand on a juice box, and the other playing with Buzz Lightyear’s cat Sox. He doesn’t know what’s going on in my head. All these thoughts run around while I lay in bed. I have some BIG, BIG, DREAMS! Help him learn to communicate. Bring him on lots of play dates! I have some BIG, BIG DREAMS! Help him make friends, who knows where this story will end. Plan big adventures all…
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