Posts Tagged ‘autism grief’
In the Hard is Where I Found Myself
Hi friends! I’m Shannon and this is how Autism help me find myself. My true self. I’m the proudest boy mom to the two most amazing boys. One of those boys was diagnosed with Autism two years ago and completely changed everything I thought I knew about myself and Autism. The day our Adventure in Autism started was the darkest day of my life. I felt like I was being forced to go on a journey I didn’t want to go on. I did everything I could to keep from…
Read MoreDear Moms Who are Trying to Keep it Together
One of the hardest things about being a mom is holding it together when all you want to do is breakdown and cry. I see you out in public fighting back the tears. Tears that have been building up all day because you’re just exhausted. You have been up for hours with no sleep because your child is going through a sleep regression. I see the frustration in your face that you’re tired of being judged. Judged that you’re doing everything wrong. I can see it in your eyes, that…
Read MoreI Will Sit With You in the Dark
Hello! I see you down there. You must be a fellow special needs mom. We can recognize each other you see. I know where you are right now because I’ve been there, and I’ll be there again. I know that the hole you are in is deep, and it’s dark and it’s scary. I know it feels like you will never get out, like you will never feel the warmth of the sun on your face again. Never feel joy. Hope. I know that you are trying to figure out…
Read MoreEven in the Dark, You Are Not Alone
I’ll sit with you in the dark, when you know, but you have to wait. Wait for others to believe you. Wait for insurance approvals. Wait for evaluations. Always waiting to hear what you already know. I’ll sit with you in the dark when you feel alone. When others tell you they’ll pray for you. When they tell you stories of how they know someone who knows someone. When they tell you that God gives special kids to special people. When they tell you, “but they’re so cute” or “they’re…
Read MoreIt’s Not That I’m Not Happy For You
I need to be real for a minute. It’s not that I don’t want to be around you. It’s not that I don’t like your kids. It’s not that I don’t love watching your kids grow up from afar. It’s not that I’m not happy for you. It’s just too hard. It’s too hard to see your children developing at a normal rate. There’s no speech and language delay. There is no vocal stimming. There are no show stopping meltdowns. You have kids who have a typical path to follow.…
Read MoreThe ‘Why’ of Nonverbal
I catch myself staring at my son and drifting off to another place. In this place I think of what his voice would sound like. I think of what it would sound like if he could call me Momma. Over these past few years, I’ve realized time has stood still. My son has progressed into an older version of himself. He looks older…but some parts haven’t progressed. He should be telling me no, yelling at his sister as he chases her around the house and telling me what his favorite…
Read MoreMamas who are in the Grief Stage; it is okay
Why would you feel grief over autism? Your child is alive. They are healthy, even happy most of the time. It could be so much worse they say. I have said those words to myself as well as had others say them to me. It does little to bring you comfort in the darkest corner of your mind. All it really does is make you feel guilty and believe me we feel an insurmountable amount of guilt already. The guilt can be even worse than the grief. I could tell you…
Read MoreBattling the Darkness
There was a time our life changed. We went from ‘typical parents’ to special needs parents. Although I still don’t see the differences. We have a different struggle, but we are still parents. Autism crept into our lives and changed the way we used our voice, while we were fighting for other kids. It sneaked into ours and asked us to use our voice for our own children. Our son was the first to be diagnosed…never did we think we would take the same road twice. I think I grieved…
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