Posts Tagged ‘autism acceptance’
He is More
My son is nonverbal. Although I’m not supposed to use that term anymore. The preferred term is ‘non-speaking.’ I am tired of arguing about descriptions so I will just explain. I think it’s easier that way. My son is eleven years old. And he has very few actual words. It’s hard to believe but it’s important to understand. It’s important to take a glimpse into someone’s life sometimes. That’s how we learn. He can say his name if asked. Cooper. He makes a sound for each letter. Six sounds. The…
Read MoreThey Need to Communicate
I read a comment on the internet yesterday that said teaching autistic children to communicate is abuse. The commenter said that if a child is unable to communicate than teaching them is abuse. Let that sink in for a second. Now a second more. I let it sink in for the last 24 hours. I kept thinking I would find some pearl of wisdom in the persons way of thinking. But I haven’t. Not yet anyways. Because I want to learn. I want to do what’s best for my son.…
Read MoreIs He Happy?
Today was a day. Long. Hot. A bit boring. Fun at times. The kids are figuring out this summer vacation thing. So are mom and dad. Schedule changes are tough I tell ya. It takes time to settle in. To figure out how to slow down. I watched my two oldest, Sawyer and Cooper, swim for over an hour. At first, just Cooper wanted to swim. It’s his most favorite activity ever. He’s a fish in the water. An autistic adult told me once that being under water is the…
Read MoreA Truth to be Accepted
Sometimes we wonder why. Why did this thing happen to me? Why my spouse or parent or child or friend? Why us? Why not those other people? I think that’s normal…to wonder why. And to want answers. If I’ve learned anything over my 39 years, it’s that there isn’t always a why. Or a black and white definitive answer as to why things happen. And that’s the hardest part. It’s like a wrestling match with your heart and mind and logic and emotions. We want answers. We want accountability. But…
Read MoreThis is Our Autism
Some kids never follow the beaten path… Whether it’s from birth or from a later date, some kids don’t follow the beaten path. They don’t meet milestones on time. They don’t follow the norm. They don’t do what every other kids is seemingly doing. My son Cooper is that way. He takes note of what he is ‘supposed’ to do and does the opposite. Some people call him a free spirit. Some call him stubborn. Even challenging. Autistic, disabled, special needs…all words thrown in. It’s hard sometimes. I won’t lie…
Read MoreGrief is Love
Having a child with a disability is a million things. It’s unbelievable joy. It’s seeing and experiencing every single milestone. It’s happiness. It’s feeling the gut wrenching pain of watching them suffer. It’s finding your voice of advocacy. It’s seeing firsthand that bullying exists. It’s seeing resilience. It’s being turned inside out. It’s carrying a weight that most cannot see. It’s wanting to fight. And run. And hurt. And protect. And scream. It’s a million things. It’s so much. So much more. And tonight. For me. It was being 11…
Read MoreThe Best Things Take Time
I get asked a lot about the sibling dynamic in our autism world. It’s honestly probably one of the topics I am asked about the most. It’s also one of my favorites to share about. When Sawyer was 9 months old I watched him fall completely in love with his older brother Cooper. When he was 2, I watched him chase behind him, following as closely as he could only to be ignored. When he was 3 he asked me why his brother didn’t talk. When he was 4 he…
Read MoreThe Seeds of a Future Advocate
My second born son Sawyer is at the age where he asks a lot of questions. The questions are pure and innocent and often make me smile or giggle. Or cringe. He asks me a lot of questions about other children. He will tell me stories from school and ask me why a child was mean or why they acted a certain way. Or he will loudly ask why the cashier at Target is in a wheelchair or why the man in line next to us has purple hair. Or…
Read MoreYou are Special for Just Being You
My sweet boy, I’m just sitting here watching you sleep. I often do this, just so you know. I sneak in your room and quietly sit on the bed near you. Someday I’m sure you’ll tell me I’m creepy with your speech device. Or maybe even say it. Secretly, I can’t wait. I can’t wait for that simple normalcy. But until then, this mama ain’t stopping because I like to watch you sleep and imagine what you are dreaming about. I like to rub your hair and snuggle you really…
Read MoreA Hundred Shades of Color
One of the things I’ve learned in my 39 years is that there is more than one way to look at something. Most things are complicated. Intricate I guess. They aren’t simple. While we assume things will be black and white, cut and dry, they are actually a hundred shades of color. I’ve even learned that my heart and mind can feel differently too. As if at odds with each other. I just took my oldest and youngest sons to the park this afternoon. Our park. The one place where…
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