The Hard Doesn’t Own Me

We’re not supposed to complain. Special needs families, that is. The world calls you an ableist when you lament an ability or lack thereof. I’ve never felt this child of mine was lacking. He’s nothing short of amazing. How could someone so funny and clever and filled with light be anything besides perfection? But, boy, is he hard. Nearly seven years of eternal toddlerhood and a few words repeat themselves on the many pages of his complicated history. Developmental delay, genetic disorder, autism, anxiety, adhd. These are the tricky pieces…

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Maybe I’m Doing This Right

Today was a bear of a day. A no good, really bad day as the kids say. But there were highs too. My baby said ‘love you mama’ when I left his room tonight. He’s never said that before. I thought my heart was going to burst. I even made him say it again. It was just so perfect. And then earlier today, while driving, my middle son asked me how babies are made. I froze. And because he’s so smart he said, ‘don’t worry mom, I already know. You…

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Magic Forever

Last night we brought our three boys to a green house to pick out pumpkins. Our middle son was very excited. He loves all things holidays. He also loves overdoing things, much like his mama. 17 pumpkins seems totally reasonable to us. And the baby, he was in heaven toddling along with his brothers. Our older son Cooper, well, he was along for the ride. Pumpkins aren’t really his jam. That is until he realized that the green house had Christmas trees. So many Christmas trees. He immediately gasped and…

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The Hard Fought Miracle

There I was, alone in the hospital, being monitored at 33 weeks pregnant with my unborn son. Nevermind that my family was states away and Shane, my husband, was hours away just finishing his overnight shift. My phone rang as the doctor entered my room. Shane stayed on the phone listening as the doctor explained our current situation. At the highest dosage my high blood pressure still wasn’t regulated and my migraine seemed to be going nowhere either. It was time to induce. Still alone in my hospital room, Shane…

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Love Needs No Words

Here is my blue-eyed, blonde hair, sweet boy looking at me. He shows his love through his eyes. He may be unable to tell me he loves me verbally, but he shows me in his unique way.  Thinking back three years ago, life was a lot different. It was the start of our autism journey. It was the start that our life would change forever. He was not making any form of eye contact. He would not interact with peers. He would always want to be left alone. It was…

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The Autism Dad

I’d like to talk about The Autism Dad for a moment. You’ve probably come across him once or twice. It’s not always obvious at first.   He’s the guy attempting a smile while his son screams. He is the man who holds his teenager’s hand as they walk down the street, oblivious to the stares. He is the father whose vision of coaching Little League and relaxing on Sunday afternoons sprawled in front of the football game have been replaced by sessions of Applied Behavior Analysis, and speech therapy. This…

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Our Stories Are Not All the Same

This will be my most unliked post, and I get it. I’m never trying to “start something” or offend anyone, but I do want to be honest in how I feel on this journey.  My name is Danielle. I share our families journey at Story of Noahism. I made a tiktok a couple weeks ago and on that app comments get a lot of attention. More so than IG. And one of my top comments meaning hundreds, almost 1k to be exact, of ppl have liked it, goes something like…

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This Is Autism

It’s different. It’s difficult. It’s beautiful It’s gut wrenching. It’s time. It’s heart. It’s patience. It’s anxiety. It’s depression. It’s love. It’s overwhelming. It’s grace. It’s tears. It’s joy. It’s appreciation. It’s lonely. It’s surprising. It’s constant.  We set out on this journey six years ago (officially)…should have been sooner but doctors drag their feet. Obtaining a diagnosis requires you to spit fire until someone gets sick of you banging their door down. The therapy is prescribed but the centers won’t take you until the child is three because otherwise…

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I Didn’t Have the Capacity For a Confrontation

Right after we moved into our current home, I registered to attend several open houses for homeschool co-ops and tutorials in this area. I will never, for as long as I live, forget one specific open house. As one of the teachers shared her plans for the fall semester, she referenced the potential number of students in her classroom based on the current number of interested families. “We have seven students…” she began. That number didn’t include Milo. I’d attended the open house with a friend who also had a son with special needs. That number didn’t include her child, either. Another teacher…

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The Brave Ones

What is bravery? I’ve been thinking about that question lately. The definition is the quality or state of having or showing mental or moral strength to face danger, fear, or difficulty. It goes onto give examples of a brave firefighter. A brave nurse. A brave athlete. And no doubt, yes, they are brave. They face burning buildings and medical tragedies and catch the winning pass. They do things I could never do. They are brave. But I think about bravery in another way too. Imagine going out into a world…

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