Our Stories Are Not All the Same

This will be my most unliked post, and I get it. I’m never trying to “start something” or offend anyone, but I do want to be honest in how I feel on this journey. 

My name is Danielle. I share our families journey at Story of Noahism.

I made a tiktok a couple weeks ago and on that app comments get a lot of attention. More so than IG. And one of my top comments meaning hundreds, almost 1k to be exact, of ppl have liked it, goes something like — “my kid didn’t talk for the first few years and now he never stops talking!!!”

And I need to address this.

The autism parent that can say this is not living the same life as me. Not even close. Our kids may have the same diagnosis but they are not in the same boat. 

That’s why I talk about the spectrum.

And how no two people on that spectrum are the same. 

And while all these kids may have autism, the group that is nonverbal is smaller. Nonverbal past age five, even smaller. Nonverbal past age ten, and you see where I’m going with this. And some remain nonverbal for life. 

My group is the smaller one — and I don’t mean one has it harder or easier or better than the other, not at all. I can’t even imagine the challenges of raising a verbal autistic in mainstream school. But you can’t really imagine the challenges of nonverbal…or else you wouldn’t say such a thing.

Parents in my boat are praying for the day our kids talk and never stop. We would give literally anything to have our kids “bother us” all day long with talking. This is what we hope and pray for. As I’m sure you may pray for some peace and quiet. It’s all about perspective and one’s story.

I guess I just think it’s important to recognize this. That our stories are not all the same even though the diagnosis may be. Because when I read that comment, I didn’t understand, at all.

Just food for thought I guess. 

Written by, DanielleMager

Danielle is the proud mama to Noah, a handsome, silly, strong willed, five year old who also happens to be on the spectrum. Danielle blogs at story of noahism and shares their journey on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/storyofnoahism/.

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.

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Finding Cooper's Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you're never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village....all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to my page!

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