Posts Tagged ‘ASD’
Each Person With ASD Is A Raw Gemstone
I wrote an essay recently about how my 16-year old son Jack got a job, and then a promotion, at local restaurant. This might not seem like a big deal, but Jack has autism. He struggles with regulation, executive functioning, severe anxiety, and communication. In other words, he jumps around a lot, he has little to no working memory, he’s afraid of loud noises, and he can be a little, uh, abrupt. A few days ago, I got an email from a lovely young woman, describing her own journey to…
Read MoreThe Days Are Long
We have been all together since Thursday at 4:30 pm. Well, actually since March, but whose keeping track. We’ve mostly been inside and haven’t really left the house. It’s cold outside so walks aren’t ideal. Coops doesn’t like to be cold and he definitely considers 24 degrees to be cold. Car rides are still a challenge for our family of five (mostly for the dad!) so we avoid those. Little people are very loud in cars. Dad doesn’t like loud and mom gets anxious because of it. And there is…
Read MoreLet me Tell You About the Siblings
I want you to know something. I want you to know that I hear you when you say his screams are too loud. That I see you when the disappointment of delayed plans hits or when a need overshadows a want. That I understand when things don’t go the way you had hoped. I want you to know that I’m painfully aware at how much our world has tipped upside down. From the emergency c-section, to the American way of postpartum care that failed. The 14 months of 24/7 care…
Read MoreThe Purpose of Genius
The letter came with the bills, two fliers, and a reminder that I desperately need to contact a random place for my extended car warranty. I tossed the trash and ripped open the letter. The words burned in my head and my vision blurred. “Mrs. Fields, this letter is to inform you that your son, Marvin Fields, has an IQ of XX and has an Intellectual Disability.” The letter went on with all sorts of reasoning for this and the need for “immediate intervention” so “the realms of hell and…
Read MoreWe Waited Ten Years For This
Beautiful things are happening between these two brothers. Things that we weren’t sure would happen. Things we accepted may never happen. Because we just didn’t know. They have never played a game together, at least not in the traditional sense. Sawyer tried for years to engage his older brother but never had any luck. It was heartbreaking for him. But lately, Cooper is loving to wrestle, tickle, run, and chase his brothers. It came out of nowhere. It’s a gift. He laughs so deep from his belly and his face…
Read MoreChoose Kindness
When do we learn hate? At what age? It’s a question I’ve been thinking about for days now. I share these three boys and our family on Facebook. I do it for a few reasons. I want to normalize autism. I want to remove the stigma and fear from the word. I want to show the possibility. The reality. The hope and the joy. I want to educate the person who knows nothing of disability. So when they meet a child or adult like my son, they give grace. And…
Read MoreTen Years Old and Nonverbal
Nonverbal communication is a pretty amazing thing really. My son Cooper communicates mostly with sounds: Think grunts and squeals and gasps. He points a lot. And brings things to us and brings us to things. He places his hands on ours and guides them in certain ways. He touches our lips and uses his hands to turn our faces to see things. He uses his iPad to show us pictures or videos of things he wants to tell us about. He does some typing. But only words that are important…
Read MoreThe ‘Why’ of Nonverbal
I catch myself staring at my son and drifting off to another place. In this place I think of what his voice would sound like. I think of what it would sound like if he could call me Momma. Over these past few years, I’ve realized time has stood still. My son has progressed into an older version of himself. He looks older…but some parts haven’t progressed. He should be telling me no, yelling at his sister as he chases her around the house and telling me what his favorite…
Read MoreWhen All Else Fails, Ask For Help
Helpless. Desperate. Inadequate. These words describe how I feel as the mother of a child with limited verbal abilities who is inexplicably wasting away before my eyes, refusing to eat and unable to tell me why. Evie is my five-year-old daughter on the Autism spectrum, and she’s been thriving in Kindergarten this year, making progress in many areas despite the mess Covid has made of things. How is it possible that a problem like this can pop up so suddenly and coexist among all these milestones we’re meeting? We’ve put…
Read MoreWhat Does it Mean to be Grateful?
What does it mean to be grateful? I think gratitude can look different for each individual person. We all want a happy life. Some people may be grateful for a good job and financial stability. Others may be grateful to be a stay at home parent, raising and watching their children thrive and grow. Gratitude is a powerful human emotion. In its simplest form, gratitude refers to a “state of thankfulness” or a “state of being grateful.” Thanking others, thanking ourselves, gratitude in any form can enlighten the mind and…
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