Tough parenting
I Can't Run or Hide From This
I am having a scared day. I am so freaking scared that I want to crawl under my desk and cry. In the fetal position. I can’t take this worry anymore. I made the appointment with the developmental pediatrician. CHECK. Being ok with the 8 month waiting list. CHECK. I spoke with the early childhood screening woman and found out that because Cooper was part of the Help Me Grow program (early intervention) he can’t be screened until he is 3 years 6 months. And they don’t do screenings in…
Read MoreWishing Your Life Away
As I was getting dressed for work this morning I tried on 6 or 7 shirts, two pairs of pants and multiple sweaters. And no, it’s not that I LOVE my fashionable clothes. It’s the opposite. I am still working on losing this last 10 pounds of baby weight that feels the need to stick around and NOTHING fits me right. And there is nothing I hate more than being uncomfortable at work. I keep telling myself that I will buy new clothes once I get to my ‘goal’ weight.…
Read MoreThis Isn't The Life I Pictured
I called my mom and cried today. I haven’t cried in quite some time over all of this. I was able to get out of the house alone and run some errands and as I was driving I finally broke down crying. I have been holding it in for a few days and it just got to be too much. The day-to-day with Cooper is so hard. Let me rephrase that. If we let Cooper do whatever he wants life is easy. If we challenge him all hell ‘can’ break loose.…
Read MoreHow Can You Hate Everything?
“It’s not humanly possible that you hate everything Cooper. Unless, you aren’t human and you were sent to this earth to make me insane. Then, I guess yes, it might be possible.” Then I looked deep into his eyes to see if maybe he was indeed an alien. Nope. No sign. This is something I said to Cooper yesterday on the way home from his first occupational Therapy appointment. Let me remind you that this place is amazing and the therapist is an angel. An actual angel. She had the…
Read MoreJust Make The Call
I can’t do it. I can’t make myself physically pick up the phone and call for this service. Life is not fair. I can’t do another evaluation. I don’t want him to need special ed. What else can I add onto that…How about put a damn email address on here so mom’s like me don’t have to make initial contact with a phone call. Ease me into it as they say.
Read MoreEek…I Overshared! And Now You Know The Real Me!
I am totally having mommy guilt about oversharing yesterday. Think of it as drinking too much and being embarrassed the next day about what you said and did. We’ve all been there. At least I know I have! (One too many times) Except yesterday I wasn’t drinking. I was just plain, old sad. And worn down. And needed help. A good night’s sleep reminded me that life could be a lot worse. If I was to sum up Cooper’s behaviors I can link every single one to lack of communication. He…
Read MorePlease Take the Time To Listen To My Child.
I read something on the Apraxia Facebook page that brought me to tears. I have voiced SO MANY of my worries about Cooper’s future ranging from school to bullying to interacting with others. And the worry doesn’t stop there. I want and need Cooper to be popular and loved. I want and need him to have friends and be successful in relationships. What mom wouldn’t want these things? I read a post on the Apraxia Facebook page that brought me to tears. I was just sick after reading it. It went something like…
Read MoreOccupational Therapy and Super Human Mommy Strength
In the meeting on Wednesday, Cooper’s speech therapist recommended that Cooper start Occupational Therapy. And she even recommended a place to go. Woo-Hoo! I called right away on Wednesday and made an appointment for Friday to meet with her. Well, Friday morning Cooper woke up pissed off at the world. He wanted Oreo cookies for breakfast and was really confused as to why he couldn’t have them. So, the whining started early. And my patience got worn early. And I was worried about his behavior during the appointment. Coop’s and I left…
Read MoreIt Is What It Is.
Cooper had an amazing speech appointment today. To put it honestly, he was perfect. And that is something I don’t get to say all the time. He played, giggled, flirted, vocalized and interacted. He did it all and he had a smile on his face the whole time. I was riding high. I was even relaxed and enjoying myself. And then his therapist said something that was supposed to make me feel better. At least I think that’s what she was doing. She said, “my boss wants me to diagnose Cooper…
Read MoreI Need To Enjoy These Moments
I’m missing right now. I’m so caught up in wishing Cooper was talking that I am missing the special moments. Time is a funny thing to any parent. On one hand you want it to stop. You want to enjoy this little, perfect baby forever. You want to soak up every second so you never forget it. And then on the other hand there are moments when you need time to go faster. Like when your sweet baby doesn’t sleep more than two hours at a time. Or they are teething…
Read More