It Is What It Is.
Cooper had an amazing speech appointment today. To put it honestly, he was perfect. And that is something I don’t get to say all the time. He played, giggled, flirted, vocalized and interacted. He did it all and he had a smile on his face the whole time. I was riding high. I was even relaxed and enjoying myself.
And then his therapist said something that was supposed to make me feel better. At least I think that’s what she was doing. She said, “my boss wants me to diagnose Cooper with autism and I won’t. I’ve been doing this for 20 years and I don’t believe he is autistic. So I am going to focus on treatment and not a diagnosis.”
What! Wait! Hold the phone. How did this just happen? How did we get here again? We’ve met your boss in the waiting room a total of 5 freaking times! How can she diagnose him without even spending time with him?
His therapist then went onto say she worked with a little boy just like Cooper and at age 5 he started talking and hasn’t looked back. At age 5 all of the pieces came together.
And just like that I was dropped down another notch. I know that story is supposed to give me hope but it doesn’t. It makes me sad. I can’t do this for another year and half.
I guess what I am trying to say is maybe I need to stop caring about these other stories. Maybe I just need to focus on Cooper and his story. Life is too short to always be carrying this worry and anger with me. I could spend all day stewing about his therapists’ boss…but what would that really get me?
I spoke with someone two years ago after my dog died. I was so sad and she gave me the most simple advice that I think about a lot.
It is what it is. You can’t change it. Simply put, you are sad and you are going to be for a while. Except it. It is what it is.
This makes me really like his therapist. She’s putting her foot down. Diagnosing kids with autism has become the ‘popular’ thing to do. It’s highly frustrating because kids who should never be classified as autistic are having labels put on them. I agree with what you said about other peoples’ stories. Cooper is Cooper. His story is his story. He is unique and his needs are unique. How he will progress in life has nothing to do with the other children. He is his own person and can accomplish anything – especially with a good parent like you.
You just made my day. Thank you for this comment. I just want to know how long is this going to chase us around? I am so tired by all of it. I see improvements and hear good news and then one bad thing wipes us down again. Anyhow, thanks! Your comment is so sweet.
At this stage my son was exactly like your son,I consulted many specialist and none of them labeled my son .He has improved so much,he is 4.5 now .Very obedient,poty trained,loving,no more sensory issues,he is on single words and jargoning.Academically improving a lot.And I would have never accepted autism diagnose on quirks tantrums base.my kid has MERLD.
I’m glad your SLP isn’t trying to diagnose Cooper. Who cares what his “label” is? Therapy should always target a child’s individualized needs and not their diagnosis. You’ve got a keeper! Side note: not sure what your state regs are, but in NY as an SLP I cannot give a diagnosis of Autism- that can only be done through a comprehensive evaluation by a developmental pediatrician or sometimes a neurologist/psychiatrist specializing in children.
Hi there, Good to know! Thank you. She really is a keeper. The key throughout this whole process has been finding great people that are focused on helping Cooper. It’s been amazing.
I completely understand your feelings. It is what it is. You’re amazing and what you are doing for Cooper is what he needs but it is exhausting as a parent especially because you just want him to be fine. Hang in there!!
Thanks! Taking it day by day!
Everyday I tell myself ‘it is what it is’