Guest Post
A Letter to my Firstborn
I guess you don’t remember when it was just you and me. A time before having a sibling to share the attention that you so desperately craved. We had two years alone together, you and I. We would read endless books together because it was your favorite thing to do. We would go for walks, to playgrounds, to play places, to restaurants. We were out in the world and we loved exploring it. I would marvel at each new thing that you learned. I would watch with a heart full…
Read MoreGod Still Hears Her
I have four kids and I love being a mom, all my kids are so unique and loved! But from the moment I got pregnant with my first child, I felt God let me feel his heart for my daughter in a extra special way. I felt like she was a worshipper and her heart was going to be connected to God in a super special way. I have a memory when I was in the beginning of labor with her, I looked up after a contraction to see tears in…
Read MoreAn Autism Mom’s Perspective on 20 Years
Twenty years…How can it be two decades since you came into this world with a hail storm in June? No kidding. On June 4, 1999 my sweet Jake was making his debut into this world unremarkable, when somewhere around 4:15pm, the sky got dark, and as everyone in the room noticed began to peer out the window, a hail storm came, with thunder and lightening… Then, the sun came out, and minutes later you were born…my sweet, Jake Timothy Helms was born, 4:40pm 9 lbs 3 oz.. On that very…
Read MoreBut She Doesn’t Look Like She Has Autism
I hear these words so many times when I relate to someone that Alana is autistic. I’m so glad she can speak; she has no problem with that. She was able to read any book given her by age 6. We never really sounded out letters too much; just what Kindergarten taught her. But one day she magically just started to read and loves it. But there are behavior issues that will wear me down. Anywhere we go, I constantly watch her. I don’t leave her alone. I did take…
Read MoreSomething as Simple as a Haircut
Sometimes autism slaps you in the face and man does it sting. Today, was one of those days. Most days we are plugging along, going to therapy, school and work and although autism is always there (Franklin is 4 and nonverbal so believe me it’s always there) it’s background noise. Franklin and Scarlett are healthy and happy and so is our family. But then something as simple as a haircut, changes everything and autism is smack in your face, rearing its ugly head. We have been putting it off for…
Read MoreThey Say he has Autism
“They say he has autism.” I didn’t go with my wife to the appointment with the developmental pediatrician that day. I had taken a couple sick days not too long before then, and I didn’t think it would be prudent to take another off. I remember telling her I wasn’t worried about what we were going to hear. “He’s just a little behind,” I had said, confident in the outcome of the appointment. “I was behind. I had to go to therapy and all that. Look, he’s only two. We’ve…
Read MoreThe Balancing Act of this (Autism) Life
It’s 9 a.m. and my toddlers are eating popsicles. They are content (even quiet?) in their car seats behind me as we drive to ABA therapy. We are going on year three of “potty training” (I could call it a lot of other things) with my son Wilson, who is almost five years old and on the autism spectrum. He really pulled one over on me this morning with the new potty sticker chart by managing to sit and pee in the toilet four times more often than he would…
Read MoreA Second Child Changed So Much
We’ve lived with autism for four years, some days it feels much longer. I’ve always wanted kids, wanted what you see on TV, in magazines and what your parents teach you. A boy and a girl. A perfect family. But what is perfect? Four years ago we had our first child, a gorgeous little boy that melted our hearts with his wonderful smile and infectious laugh. However, from a very young age things never felt right. He slept for an hour at the most at any one time, refused to…
Read MoreMy Son, I am So Sorry
My sweet boy, how I love you so. We have had such a long week and I’m sorry. I am so tired of doctors, and needles, and hospitals, and machines, and all of it. I’m tired of having to be the one who makes you suffer through this stuff. But the doctors tell me there is more to look for, so in the hopes of doing the best I absolutely can for you, I keep looking. I keep fighting, and I keep pushing. And I know you are even more…
Read MoreAutism Touches Every Part of Everything
I am not sure when the moment hit because I was so deep into autism, I did not even realize the epiphany I had. When Jayden was diagnosed just before age three I had so much hope, and do not get me wrong I am still filled with tons of hope for Jayden’s future. I just had some unrealistic expectations of life like ‘The Good Doctor type of autism’ instead of the autism that has a potty timer going off every thirty to forty-five minutes, depending on the day. Somewhere…
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