Something as Simple as a Haircut

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Sometimes autism slaps you in the face and man does it sting.

Today, was one of those days.

Most days we are plugging along, going to therapy, school and work and although autism is always there (Franklin is 4 and nonverbal so believe me it’s always there) it’s background noise.

Franklin and Scarlett are healthy and happy and so is our family.

But then something as simple as a haircut, changes everything and autism is smack in your face, rearing its ugly head.

We have been putting it off for weeks because in the back of our minds we knew how it was going to go. But finally today had to be the day.

My mom came over to help and it began.

At first we tried t to distract him with all of his favorite things but the inevitable happened and it took 3 adults ( 2 holding him and 1 cutting) to cut my 33 lb., 4 year olds hair.

He was screaming and crying as if he was in excruciating pain and I’m guessing to him it may have felt that way.

I was sweating and crying by the end and felt so sorry for my sweet little boy.

When I finally got in the shower at 9:45 tonight the sting of autism hit me hard.

I cried and cried for so many reasons other than a haircut, but it was a simple act that so many parents take for granted that brought it to the forefront.

I just wish some days that all I had to worry about were “normal” toddler things.

I wish that I could just enroll my son in 4 year old preschool instead of deciding if we are going to do full-time ABA therapy.

I wish I could sign my son up for t-ball or soccer instead of signing him up for music therapy for children with autism or communication disorders.

I wish I could take my kids to get a picture with Santa Claus without worrying that there will be a terrible meltdown.

I wish I didn’t have to worry if we are going to need speech devices or chew necklaces.

I wish I didn’t have to worry that a preschool teacher might be angry about changing my son’s pull-up because he is not yet potty trained.

I wish that I didn’t have to worry that my daughter is not getting enough attention because her brother requires so much sometimes.

But most of all I wish I could take away all the anxiety, frustration, and pain autism causes my little boy.

On most days autism is my amazing, happy, smiling little boy that I love with all my heart and I experience so much joy compared to the sorrow. But some days are hard, scary and emotional and it truly feels like I am being smacked in the face with the reality of my amazing little boy’s life and future.

I’m not sharing this for people to feel bad for me because I don’t want people to do that. I guess I just want to bring awareness by giving a little glimpse into our world.

Written by, Jessica Bluhm

My name is Jessica Bluhm and I am a 6-12th grade special education teacher and mom of a 4 year old son with autism and a 2 year old typical daughter. I am married to my best friend, Tyler and we enjoy spending time with friends and family.

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.

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Kate Swenson

Kate Swenson lives in Minnesota with her husband Jamie, and four children, Cooper, Sawyer, Harbor and Wynnie. Kate launched Finding Cooper's Voice from her couch while her now 11-year-old son Cooper was being diagnosed with autism. Back then it was a place to write. Today it is a living, thriving community of people who want to not only advocate for autism, but also make the world a better place for individuals with disabilities and their families. Her first book, Forever Boy, will be released, April 5, 2022.

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