Guest Post
The Battle of Perfectionism with a Physical Disability
Perfectionism, everyone has experienced it in some way. For certain people, it commonly occurs within academics, whereas for others, it can be apparent in their job or home. However, for people with disabilities, perfectionism can be heightened due to the need to prove society wrong, and turn the “can’ts” into “cans.” I am a graduate student, studying to be a mental health counselor. How does that statement alone make me unique? Well, I use a communication device due to cerebral palsy. I am the first person in my program to…
Read MoreThe Big Elephant in the Room
Recently, my son Stalen and I were getting groceries. The cashier was super nice and began talking to me as she scanned our stuff. She also tried to strike up a conversation with Stalen. When he didn’t respond to her she asked me if he was shy. I quickly told her that he has autism and is non-verbal. She asked, “will he ever talk”? I felt myself cringe and I could feel the lady in line behind me leaning in. It wasn’t the question that bothered me, it was the…
Read MoreWho Wouldn’t Want a Brother like you?
To my son on his 3rd birthday: You’ve been through so much in your first three years of life. And no I’m not just talking about the eight surgeries you had before you were two years old. Or the daily therapy sessions and weekly doctor appointments. I’m talking about your relationship with your two siblings. Your brother has Autism and is sensitive to touch. Your sister prefers to be by herself and likes her space. I see you making friends everywhere we go. The park, the grocery store, restaurants, whoever…
Read MoreWhere Would I be Without Autism?
I had an interesting experience this past week. My husband and I volunteered to be apart of a research study looking at how having a child with autism affects our marriage. There were a lot of expected questions like, “what things are more challenging when you have a child with autism compared to other families?”, and “how do you cope with the stress as a married couple”. Some of the questions were hard to answer, some were very easy. There was one question that struck me to the core that…
Read MoreHas Autism Changed our decision to have more Children?
July 8th. That date will sit in my head forever. It was the day my son Carter was diagnosed with autism. As his mom knew for about a year before that Carter might have a delay or be “different”. He wasn’t speaking or doing simple things that other kids his age were doing. But before I really noticed anything with Carter his dad and I decided we wanted him to have a sibling. I grew up close with my sisters and I wanted that for my children. Being pregnant with…
Read MoreI am so Thankful for my Cheer Squad
Special needs parenting is rough. I’m not gonna sugar coat it anymore. It is the single most hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. The first two years were pretty typical, I always looked to my friends for mom advice. Diaper cream, sippy cups etc. The last three have been hard. I don’t have anyone to ask for advice anymore. It’s just us. My husband, our pre-verbal ASD son and me. We make a great team and my son is the MVP. He is tough, smart and even though…
Read MoreLiving our Kind of Normal
I was on YouTube the other day during one of my many research missions about autism and I came across a video. The lighting was poor and the camera angles were even worse. It made me a little nervous at first since you never really know what will pop up during a search, but the caption insisted it was an “interview with autism parent” so I kept watching. On camera was this person, who I can only assume was a reporter, and he was interviewing a distraught mother with a…
Read MoreCoping with Autism
I’m an optimist at heart. I really am. So, when I got the diagnosis of autism for my daughter I remained hopeful. She was two then. I had actually known she had autism since she was 10 months. At 10 months Antoinette never looked at me when I made a sound. She never made eye contact. She never cried. Crying is a form of communication. She wasn’t communicating. I watched my daughter and thought to myself “she’s a genius, that’s what this is.” I told myself that daily. Three years…
Read MoreNo Talk All Action
The red shirt that Brian has worn everyday for the past 5 years (we have 4 of them) says “No Talk All Action”. It is not just a slogan, it is how he lives his life. My younger daughter Catie was upset one night last week and was in tears sitting on the couch between me and my husband. Brian appeared from the other room and came over to Catie, wiped off the tears on her face, and hugged her until she stopped crying. He would not leave her side…
Read MoreWe’re All the Same
Before having my daughter, I had two miscarriages. They were years apart and left me fragile and vulnerable to fear. Fear that it would happen again and fear I’d lose her after she was born. Later. Someday. Fear that kept me up at night. Fear that still keeps me up at night. While people are finally starting to open up about their experiences with loss, they aren’t talking about this anxiety that comes with parenting. At five years old, I opened myself up to trusting more people to watch her…
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