The Battle of Perfectionism with a Physical Disability

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Perfectionism, everyone has experienced it in some way.

For certain people, it commonly occurs within academics, whereas for others, it can be apparent in their job or home.

However, for people with disabilities, perfectionism can be heightened due to the need to prove society wrong, and turn the “can’ts” into “cans.”

I am a graduate student, studying to be a mental health counselor. How does that statement alone make me unique?

Well, I use a communication device due to cerebral palsy. I am the first person in my program to have a physical disability.

While this makes me proud of the obstacles and accomplishments I have endured to get where I am today, these two components make me believe that I must be perfect in academia and my profession.

I am aware that no one is perfect and that I will make mistakes along the way, but it is still a struggle that I battle with every day.

Recently, I was in class, completing a role play assignment with a classmate. As we began, my computer froze and would not work.

I immediately became frustrated and wanted to leave the room. In fact, another classmate offered to help, but I declined because I wanted to gain the necessary therapy skills.

Eventually, I switched to the speech app on my phone and completed the activity.

The reason for the frustration was not solely because of technology malfunctioning, it was due to  the fact that I felt inadequate in my future career.

I felt as though I was not good enough to be a counselor, based on the reason that I cannot speak and have to rely on technology to communicate, which leads to the need to be perfect.

Although I have always used a different method of communication, this incident felt different because I was co-facilitating a mock group therapy session.

Therefore, I thought I was not living up to my full potential, based on societal norms, such as needing the ability to speak, in order to provide therapy.

Thankfully, everyone was empathetic towards my situation.

Although the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990 has made substantial improvements towards accessibility and inclusion for people with disabilities, it does not diminish society’s perceptions.

In today’s world, people believe that individuals with a disorder cannot live a meaningful life, based on their limitations of the diagnosis. This has caused the disability community to feel as though they must be extraordinary in everything they do.

If someone falls short of an accomplishment, it is assumed that the person is not able to achieve their goals. Many times, a person must adapt to their challenges, in order to succeed. However, the presumptions of society placed on people with disabilities can be difficult to handle at times.

I know that I should not listen to what anyone thinks about me, but it is hard when I have to prove myself to everyone around me.

Honestly, I am tired of thinking that I need to live up to society’s standards to be successful. People with disabilities should not have to worry about acceptance due to their disorder, it should come naturally.

Unfortunately we live in a world where we must abide by societal norms, in order to be respected by everyone. I hope that this changes, but I do not know if it will.

My whole life I have been told that I make an impact on everyone that I meet.

As I look back on those times, I realized that this is my why for going into the counseling profession.

My goal is to be a support system for people who are struggling with their mental health and do not want to feel judged for what they are going through. It does not matter to me that I talk differently, therefore, it should not matter to the rest of the world.

Perfectionism is an obstacle that I will overcome, one day at a time.

Written by, Ashley Mohesky

My name is Ashley Mohesky, I was born and raised in Texas. I have a neurological disorder called Cerebral Palsy. I am currently working on my Master’s Degree in Counseling Psychology, in order to be a Licensed Professional Counselor in the State of Texas. For my practice, I plan to specialize in mental health for people with chronic illnesses, anxiety, depression, bipolar, and parents who are raising children with special needs.

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Kate Swenson

Kate Swenson lives in Minnesota with her husband Jamie, and four children, Cooper, Sawyer, Harbor and Wynnie. Kate launched Finding Cooper's Voice from her couch while her now 11-year-old son Cooper was being diagnosed with autism. Back then it was a place to write. Today it is a living, thriving community of people who want to not only advocate for autism, but also make the world a better place for individuals with disabilities and their families. Her first book, Forever Boy, will be released, April 5, 2022.

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