Guest Post
I Need You Too
Since the day you were born, I knew that being a Mom was my purpose in life. I loved every single moment. The late nights, the cuddling, even the poopy diapers. That feeling, knowing that someone needs you… is amazing. Although, I thought it would only last for a little while. The needing. The constant. Now, you are four. And you still need me just as much now, as you did when you were a newborn…and I can’t help but wonder if that’s how it will be forever? Will you…
Read MoreWe Made A Bucket List
I have a bucket list. I used to think such things were cliche and cheesy and what does it really do anyway? And then, at 24, I became a mom. I really wanted to be a mom. In high school, on career day, I dreamt about lots of careers but in the back of my mind I always thought, but I’m gonna be a stay-at-home mom so I never really took those dreams very seriously. One cold January day, my dream came true! The little baby boy I had prayed…
Read MoreI Wish We Didn’t Have to Fight
Sometimes I wish we didn’t have to fight; fight for services, for inclusion, for equality. But I know that is not the case. We will always have to fight because my 4 year old, nonverbal son diagnosed with autism will never be fully accepted by everyone, and that makes me so incredibly sad. I am reminded of this from time to time and every time it stings. This week I was reminded again how the neurotypical world doesn’t quite understand and accept my son. Franklin has been in an Early…
Read MoreShe’s Just a Kid who Never Learned to Discriminate
An elementary school friend of mine has a daughter not much younger than my own. These days, we only connected through social media and a shared love of our small hometown memories. My daughter had a major speech delay; so did hers. We bonded over the similarities. Her daughter Harper was diagnosed with autism; with a lot of speech therapy–my kid learned to form words. When Kate was old enough to learn about autism, we started discussing it. I mean, we started discussing it before three. She asked all…
Read MoreI’m Sorry, Your Son Has Autism
These words hit me like a ton of bricks. Like a wrecking ball to my soul. It felt like my world came crashing down on me and I was drowning in quick sand all at the same time. Even though I already knew in my heart that my son had Autism. After all I was a teacher of students with Autism for 21 years at that time so I could tell Cole was not developing skills he should have had by age 2. He did not speak or make intelligible…
Read MoreI Saw You Judge Us
I saw you. We got in line behind you at one of the snack stands. You had three kids and another adult with you. Your kids were calm. Patient. Quiet. Speaking politely. I saw you. I saw the look on your face change from smiles to annoyance as my three year old began to get very active…trying to run. I saw you. I saw you roll your eyes as his meltdown started. I saw the nasty look you shot our way before muttering something to your companion. I saw the…
Read MoreI Wonder About the End
I wonder about the end. The end of autism. And I don’t like that thing (of me) that creeps up through the night as I think. Staring into that corner by the closet where it sits. No matter how I try the thought it crawls on me. “When are you going to stop hiding? To stop running from me?” It whispers. “You know the truth: that Autism will only ever end when you accept it. When you invite it in.” At the beginning I’d always end up in front of…
Read MoreA Letter to my Autistic Husband
Dear David, I’m writing this letter to you in a public forum for two reasons. First, I want to shout from the rooftops just how amazing, wonderful, loving, kind and funny a husband I have. Second, because some people have a very narrow view of what autism is, and I’d like to correct a few misconceptions. You came into my life 18 years ago and immediately won my heart by making me laugh so hard I nearly fell out of my chair! I knew you were different from the first…
Read MoreIt Isn’t Really Something to Fix
Kids are complicated. And everyone has an opinion. I mean every kind hearted, well-intentioned family member, friend, nurse, doctor, therapist and sometimes stranger has an opinion on your child. Some of them are good opinions, some misguided, and a few of them probably make you want to throw something at them. Doctors. Therapists. Visits and appointments. Scheduling and shuffling. Integrating multiple therapeutic strategies into your home on a daily basis, all while balancing all the normal day to day things. Parents and teachers of special needs, I know you get…
Read MoreThe Doctor who said, Your Child is the Least of my Concerns
My daughter is autistic and started having seizures at age 11. I remember the day I got the call from the school nurse that she had a seizure in class. I actually expected it at some point due to her neurological issues, so it didn’t take me completely by surprise, but it was terrifying nonetheless. We already had a neurologist so we had the 24 hour EEG right away which confirmed she was having partial complex seizures. The type where you just kind of stare off into space for as little…
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