Guest Post
The Christmas Moments I Envy
Christmas time has always been my favorite time of year. The lights, love, festivities. The family and friends. Growing up my mom and dad made Christmas magical even if they had to go without. My mom would bake and decorate the house beautifully. You could feel the love the minute you walked in the house. I always wanted to give my kids the same magical feeling. As I got older, I understood that the magic of Christmas came from my parents. It didn’t come from a store. Having a child…
Read MoreThe Sparkle of December and the Hope We Hold
There is something about the December month that brings with it a sparkle. With twinkling lights, colder weather, Santa, Christmas trees, and advent calendars. Each year I love more and more the quick turnaround from Thanksgiving to the Christmas season, turkeys to Christmas cookies. Maybe it’s the kids getting older, that I am getting older, or that I have just learned to appreciate the special December festivities. A sweet glimpse of time as we reflect on the year past and what it has given us. It feels like a season…
Read MoreWe Have Years Left
As I was tucking these two in the other night, Sawyer said to his brother and I…‘I’m going to sleep in my room tonight Cooper.’ Cooper popped up quickly and distinctly shook his head and said a very serious…’no.’ This is huge for a few reasons. For one, my now ten year old just recently learned how to shake his head no. Its a skill that takes motor planning and didn’t come naturally to my sweet boy. It’s also pretty cute. He also vocalized NO. That’s new. I sat there…
Read MoreThe Year We Were Normal
2020 has been a hard year for most. Filled with uncertainty, fear, confusion, sleepless nights, isolation and more. We call that a Tuesday in our house. Truthfully not too much has changed in 2020 for us. Yes, we have less appointments and therapies, but the fear, the isolation, the constant anxiety. That’s every day for us. Now there is talk of an end, a vaccine, a possible return to normal. People of course are debating it but the end goal of all of this, is a return to normal. Dinner…
Read MoreLet me Tell You About the Siblings
I want you to know something. I want you to know that I hear you when you say his screams are too loud. That I see you when the disappointment of delayed plans hits or when a need overshadows a want. That I understand when things don’t go the way you had hoped. I want you to know that I’m painfully aware at how much our world has tipped upside down. From the emergency c-section, to the American way of postpartum care that failed. The 14 months of 24/7 care…
Read MoreThe Purpose of Genius
The letter came with the bills, two fliers, and a reminder that I desperately need to contact a random place for my extended car warranty. I tossed the trash and ripped open the letter. The words burned in my head and my vision blurred. “Mrs. Fields, this letter is to inform you that your son, Marvin Fields, has an IQ of XX and has an Intellectual Disability.” The letter went on with all sorts of reasoning for this and the need for “immediate intervention” so “the realms of hell and…
Read MoreThe ‘Why’ of Nonverbal
I catch myself staring at my son and drifting off to another place. In this place I think of what his voice would sound like. I think of what it would sound like if he could call me Momma. Over these past few years, I’ve realized time has stood still. My son has progressed into an older version of himself. He looks older…but some parts haven’t progressed. He should be telling me no, yelling at his sister as he chases her around the house and telling me what his favorite…
Read MoreWhen All Else Fails, Ask For Help
Helpless. Desperate. Inadequate. These words describe how I feel as the mother of a child with limited verbal abilities who is inexplicably wasting away before my eyes, refusing to eat and unable to tell me why. Evie is my five-year-old daughter on the Autism spectrum, and she’s been thriving in Kindergarten this year, making progress in many areas despite the mess Covid has made of things. How is it possible that a problem like this can pop up so suddenly and coexist among all these milestones we’re meeting? We’ve put…
Read MoreWhat Does it Mean to be Grateful?
What does it mean to be grateful? I think gratitude can look different for each individual person. We all want a happy life. Some people may be grateful for a good job and financial stability. Others may be grateful to be a stay at home parent, raising and watching their children thrive and grow. Gratitude is a powerful human emotion. In its simplest form, gratitude refers to a “state of thankfulness” or a “state of being grateful.” Thanking others, thanking ourselves, gratitude in any form can enlighten the mind and…
Read MoreMamas who are in the Grief Stage; it is okay
Why would you feel grief over autism? Your child is alive. They are healthy, even happy most of the time. It could be so much worse they say. I have said those words to myself as well as had others say them to me. It does little to bring you comfort in the darkest corner of your mind. All it really does is make you feel guilty and believe me we feel an insurmountable amount of guilt already. The guilt can be even worse than the grief. I could tell you…
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