I spent last night thinking about the autism spectrum. I went to bed fine but Sawyer woke us up around 11 with the flu. No good. Vomiting and sleep deprived parents is never good. So, as I lay there waiting to sleep I started to think about the spectrum and Cooper. I always picture it as a straight line with high-functioning on one end and low-functioning on the other end. And the inevitable question….where is Cooper on that line. And an even bigger question…does it really matter where he lies…
Read MoreI’ve been down since Cooper’s birthday. So has Jamie. We’ve done a very good job isolating ourselves and Cooper. And when you live in a bubble it’s incredibly easy to block out delays and differences. But the party brought it all out. No hiding. Don’t even get me started on age 4 as a milestone. I know we will bounce back. We always do. It just needs to run its course. So, anyhow I spent the night looking at videos on my iPad. I absolutely love seeing videos of the…
Read MoreI had a conversation with a friend this weekend about how everyone’s life looks amazing on Facebook. And how it’s all a load of shit. Nobody’s life is perfect. But nobody takes pictures of the sad moments. Or at least we don’t share them. Why would we. We don’t want the reminders. Or the questions from people about them. Or, pity. I am sitting here looking through the pictures of Coops birthday party. He is overstimulated and extremely stressed out in most of them. I would not call it a…
Read MoreI am pretty sure Cooper says hi in this video. And it also shows Coopers inability to sit still and focus. It ain’t happening folks. He’s all over the place. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZqIyYbcJV9o&sns=em
Read MoreCoopers birthday is on Saturday. He will be 4. I’ve been thinking about it nonstop. Even sneaking little peeks at Cooper. Watching closer than usual. Wondering how we got here and marveling in how far we’ve come. And thinking how far we have to go. And most importantly melting at just how wonderful this kid is and secretly wondering if maybe his way of thinking isn’t all that off. For example I am trying to teach Cooper to sign ‘thank you’. The sign is touching your hand to your chin and would be pretty…
Read MoreCooper has been at Fraser for 2 months. That is absolutely crazy to me. When we considered moving 3 hours away, with the main reason being for his care, I secretly thought it would never work. Not the us part but the school part. Traditional therapy has been a nightmare for Cooper. We started with having the school district in our home, then went to traditional speech and OT at the hospital and then tried ECFE and lastly speech at a specialty clinic for kids with language disorders. ALL FAILURES. That sounds…
Read MoreYou couldn’t pay me to talk about the Ferguson, Missouri crisis on my blog. I’m a pretty laid back chick ‘in public’ and I don’t like to get too worked up about stuff. Not because I don’t care, but because confrontation makes me want to vomit. I get flustered and I usually (more like always) end up crying. But…it’s a different story in my own home. Jamie and I discuss topics like this quite frequently. I can say that I got so mad over the Trayvon Martin case that I almost…
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A couple nights ago Cooper was being a real bear as I was putting him to bed. I read him a story, tucked him in, put up the gate at the door to his room, grabbed the baby monitor, and went downstairs to continue my never-ending packing journey. We were moving in a few days. A new city. New services for Cooper. As I suspected Coops did not want to go to sleep and screamed/yelled at the gate. Normally, I don’t let it bother me. Sleep is not something he…
Read MoreSo for the first time ever I had the words, “I’m sorry…he’s autistic” on the tip of my tongue and couldn’t bring myself to say it. We are getting new carpet in our basement and on Sunday two people from the company came over to show us carpet samples and measure. Jamie went downstairs with the guy and I stayed upstairs with the boys to look at the samples. The woman was showing me the different styles and had them spread out all over the floor. As usual Sawyer was…
Read MoreSometimes I forget that Cooper is just a little boy. And that he is only 3. And so stinking cute. I look at this picture and I see a boy. Not an autistic boy. It’s an invisible thing. I never knew that one word could change my life so much. I am so thankful that I am past the diagnosis part. I almost just typed that I am thankful to be past the unknown part. But that’s not true. Every bit of Cooper’s future is unknown. I believe we are…
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