Posts by Kate Swenson
Is That What You Want?
I just received a phone call from the office that my son’s doctor referred us to for an autism evaluation. I expected they would be calling soon to schedule an appointment. What I didn’t expect was what actually took place on the phone. I just sat there like an idiot, not even sure what to say. *Ring Ring Me: Hello Her: Hi, is this Mrs. Foster? Me: Yes it is. Her: I’m calling from (insert office name here). We received a referral for your son for autism testing. (quiet pause)…
Read MoreAge is just a Number in our World
‘You prepare yourself as a parent for siblings to pass your disabled child by. But wait until your grandkids do too. That one will take your breath away.’ That comment. It was said to me, with love, from a mom that had been doing this for 57 years. Her son is 22. He’s like my amazing Cooper. Nonverbal. Severe. Smart. Funny. Loving. He will need lifelong care. He will forever need help bathing and brushing his teeth. He will never pay taxes or have a job. He will never get…
Read MoreTo the Parents who Admit it’s Hard
To the parents who say it’s hard. And talk about the hard. The ones who don’t hide. Or lie. Or fake it. But instead learn from it. And let the hard make them stronger. I see you. To the parents that have figured it out. Or at least figured it out enough. Thank you for helping others. For supporting and lifting up. For answering a midnight text saying, ‘I can’t do this anymore. ‘And reminding them, ‘yes, you can.’ To the parents who don’t judge. Who offer a hand, dinner,…
Read MoreAcknowledging the Forever
I am a ‘take it one day at a time’ kind of mom. And some days, when my kids aren’t sleeping or I feel like I am losing my mind, I’m a ‘take it one hour at a time’ mom. Just make it through the day. To bedtime. Or through the night. The sun will surely rise. This mothering thing will be easier tomorrow. It’s a new day. But I want you to know that I didn’t start to truly accept my son’s special needs until I began to feel…
Read MoreThe Privilege of Growing Up
Today, I brought my son Sawyer to his first grade assessment at his school. We opened up all of his school supplies and put them in his backpack before we left. He was chattering nonstop while sharpening his pencils. He hoisted up his backpack while exclaiming how heavy it was. We walked to the truck. He opened his door, climbed in and buckled his seatbelt, immediately asking me to play Lizzo. He asked me what his teacher’s name is and where his classroom is going to be. I pretended to…
Read MoreI Saw You Today
I saw you today. In fact I saw several of you. I was the mom picking up some groceries with my son. My autistic son, that’s all he is. No need to walk on eggshells around us, we were just fine. But I’m not sure you were. When he made unusual noises as I stood at the deli counter you were allowed to smile at me and say hello. It would’ve gone a long way to put me at ease. It wasn’t necessary to look past us as if we…
Read MoreArrests made in West Virginia Special Education Abuse Case
Like me, many of you have been following this story since the beginning. As a mom to a little boy with nonverbal autism, it summarized my worst nightmares and greatest fears into one. Emotional and physical abuse of the most vulnerable population. Thankfully, arrests have been made. Suspecting her 6-year-old daughter with severe nonverbal autism was being abused at school, Amber Pack, a West Virginia mother hid a recording device in her daughter’s hair, court documents say. On Friday, the girl’s former teacher and two former aides were arrested, the…
Read MoreMy Boyfriend, My Love, is Autistic
I’ve been sitting on this for a long time. I never wrote it into words because I didn’t feel I had the adequate vocabulary to do. I still don’t but I think that’s the point. Seven years ago I met my now boyfriend. He was weird. Everyone was weird to me, including myself. We never really spoke until 2 years ago. It started when I reached out because I was worried about him. He talked to me in a way I knew he didn’t talk to anyone else. I didn’t…
Read MoreMissing the Me I Might Have Been
On the way home from a special needs event I was actually able to talk my daughter into attending, we stopped at Starbucks drive through. As I waited in line, I watched people getting out of their cars and going inside. Families laughing and enjoying the Florida sunshine. Most were probably tourists, since I was about 15 min from the gates of Disney World. We got our drinks and then I hopped on the interstate to head home. We had a really good day today. Casadee attended the special rodeo…
Read MoreTo my Son’s Teacher
Tomorrow my son will start in your classroom. It will be our first real time spent apart since he was born. I worry you won’t like him. I’m afraid he’ll be too much for you to handle. Everyone tells me this will be good for him…good for me. I hope you love him like your own. Chances are, my little guy will have no idea I’ve even dropped him off because he lives in his own world. He will probably grab your hand and happily go with you because he…
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