Posts Tagged ‘Special Needs Parenting’
Where is Cooper?
Lately, I have been getting a lot of questions from followers wondering why I haven’t been sharing any videos of Cooper. Well, the answer is quite simple. I’ve been a little nervous. Lately, I’ve been receiving an abnormal amount of bullying. Some of it’s to be expected. I reach millions of people so of course not everyone is going to like me. I get that. But, lately, it’s been targeted at Cooper. About his looks. About his personality. About him in general. Name calling. Threats. Scary stuff. I’m not okay…
Read MoreSkeletons in my Closet
I am so much older and so much wiser these days. And yes, so much more thin and worn out than when our eighteen year old daughter Jazz was given that autism diagnosis at age three. In those early days, I swallowed every book, watched every documentary, attended every autism-related conference in order to get a handle on this thing life had thrown my way. I was puzzled by the old moms I encountered and their silence. As a newbie to autism, I was naïve perhaps as to what changes…
Read MoreIt Will Be Okay
Today I watched my almost three year old run into the street in front of a car. It wasn’t how I planned. It wasn’t what I THOUGHT was going to happen. But it happened. I will literally never forget that moment, for as long as I live. Deep into a meltdown, he ran. I’m grateful to the driver who was (luckily) paying attention and spared my sons life. Backtrack- Dylan was diagnosed at 2 years and 3 months, which was 10 months ago. He’ll be 3 in February. We knew…
Read MoreYou Were Always Special
“Hi Mrs. France, we wanted to call and let you know that everything was fine with Jack’s X-rays. There are absolutely no abnormalities.” As your mother, you would think this would have been a phone call that I was elated to receive. Instead, I hung up in tears. It’s not that I want anything to be wrong with you, my sweet boy. I was just hoping that what was going on was something that could be “easily fixed.” I thought that maybe you just couldn’t hear the world around you…
Read MoreA Letter to the Snow Day
Dear Snow Day, You suck! Yes, you are beautiful! Yes, the kids are excited and the teachers are excited but you are reminding me that my son has autism. I always dreamed that my kids would go play in the snow and build snowmen but you are a reminder that my son cannot do that. You are a reminder that my son cannot even handle a day when his routine is changed. You stress him out. He likes his routine and he likes going to school. Then you come and…
Read MoreThe Little Boy that I Get to Know
I love you my son and I’m so, so, so, very proud of all the progress you’ve made in the last couple of years. You’re now at the age where we can really see your autism. You’re at the age where people know when we go out that you’re ‘different.’ Hopefully all of us Mama’s and Dada’s have raised enough awareness that they know you have autism when they stare at you. It’s ok. I see you looking at them. You know they’re staring you don’t care and guess what…I…
Read MoreDon’t Give Up On Me—Always Take Me Along
My sweet Tristan, You amaze me everyday. Even on our hard days I hope you see how much I love you. I love your silly side. I love your playful independence and how you seek joy in your own amazing way. Take me along, sweet boy. Always take your mama along. I want to see how you see and feel how you feel. Tristan, a moment in embedded in my heart. I was singing to you. You started to scream. I said “Do you want me to stop?” You signed…
Read MoreSilence isn’t Golden
“It will get easier when he talks,” said my mom, to me, a first time mom. I’m rocking my crying newborn and googling reflux, colic, and “breast is best.” “It will get easier when he talks,” said my mom, to me, a slightly concerned mom now. Zachary is barely making milestones on time. The doctor ask, “Is he rolling from his back to belly yet?” “Almost!” I said, trying to convince the doctor and myself. And sure enough a month goes by and he does! I assure myself God is…
Read MoreWhat I See when I Look at You
Before you were diagnosed sweet boy, I prayed for a lot of things. I prayed for answers. I prayed to find doctors that would listen to me. I prayed for strength to never give up. And I will admit, that I was so scared of the ‘word’ autism, that I prayed it was anything else. A speech delay. A developmental delay. A hearing loss. I prayed that you were just a late bloomer. That you were strong willed. Anything but that word that people were afraid to say out loud.…
Read MoreWhy I Cried Happy Tears when my Son was Diagnosed with Autism
I can remember everything about the day that we received a diagnosis of autism for our Hudson. I can remember that I had to go by myself to that appointment because my husband couldn’t get off work. I can remember sitting at the table across from the psychologist and what felt like a rather sterile environment considering it was a pediatric development office. I sat there with a nervous pit in my stomach, anticipating what we might talk about but at the same time fearful to hear those words. With…
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