Where is Cooper?

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Lately, I have been getting a lot of questions from followers wondering why I haven’t been sharing any videos of Cooper.

Well, the answer is quite simple.

I’ve been a little nervous.

Lately, I’ve been receiving an abnormal amount of bullying.

Some of it’s to be expected. I reach millions of people so of course not everyone is going to like me. I get that.

But, lately, it’s been targeted at Cooper. About his looks. About his personality. About him in general.

Name calling. Threats. Scary stuff.

I’m not okay with that.

I am going to give you a few examples so you can see how serious this really is. And please know, there is a lot more than just these two.

And I want to be clear, I am a mom who runs a blog about our life. I don’t deserve this. My kid doesn’t deserve this. So don’t try and tell me that I share my life on there internet and therefore have done something to deserve this kind of emotional abuse.

Because that is not true.

To be honest, it makes me livid. And it makes me scared.

I even thought about quitting. I thought about stopping all of this. But then I realized, that is wrong.

I started this page to educate the world about severe, nonverbal autism. To take the fear out of that label. To show the beauty.

I wanted to share our amazing, interesting, funny, weird life.

And I wanted to build a community for parents. A community where they felt safe.

While some of that is happening, I realized that I no longer felt comfortable talking about and sharing certain topics to millions of people.

I had a few choices. Quit. Start a private page, that crazy trolls could still get into you. Or, launch a page where only people who truly care would sign up.

So, I launched a subscription page on Facebook. I did this to keep my family safe. And to keep my sanity in tact.

I also did this because I want to create a community and a place where people that truly care about autism AND my family can be a bigger part of our lives.

On the page I post exclusive videos on sensitive topics like marriage, sibling guilt, medication and balancing it all.

I do weekly Facebook Live Q and A’s where you can talk to me, ask me questions, see my kids, chat with Jamie and get a glimpse inside our lives.

The next one is schedule for next Tuesday and it is about navigating the business side of special needs. Meaning, getting help from the school, county and state.

I also do giveaways as often as I can! I get products sent to me and I love to give them to you!

The group has been active for a little over a month now. It has been a blast.

The community is small. It is mighty. It is filled with amazing people that I am falling in love with.

I know their names and I’m starting to get to know them.

Parents are also connecting and building relationships.

If this sounds interesting or like something you would want to be a part of, I encourage you to CLICK and learn more. https://www.facebook.com/becomesupporter/772295979579532/

If you can’t join, please don’t worry. I will continue to fill this page with posts written by me and guest contributors. I will also continue to do videos and hopefully get over the fear of sharing my beautiful boy with the world.

Just give me some time please.

And because I know many of you truly care about Cooper…here is a brand new video about him!

https://www.facebook.com/findingcoopersvoice/videos/799810243731140/

Please understand that the internet is a scary place. I have to consider my children’s safety. That is the bottom line.

Thank you!

Kate

Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special needs child. Because you’re never alone in the struggles you face. And once you find your people, your allies, your village….all the challenges and struggles will seem just a little bit easier. Welcome to our journey. You can also follow us on Facebook, subscribe for exclusive videos, and subscribe to our newsletter.

Interested in writing for Finding Cooper’s Voice? LEARN MORE

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Kate Swenson

Kate Swenson lives in Minnesota with her husband Jamie, and four children, Cooper, Sawyer, Harbor and Wynnie. Kate launched Finding Cooper's Voice from her couch while her now 11-year-old son Cooper was being diagnosed with autism. Back then it was a place to write. Today it is a living, thriving community of people who want to not only advocate for autism, but also make the world a better place for individuals with disabilities and their families. Her first book, Forever Boy, will be released, April 5, 2022.

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18 Comments

  1. Joy Gotwatl on February 13, 2019 at 1:32 pm

    I don’t always get to read your blog but this post has shaken me. I think you are a great mom doing a wonderful job with your children. Even if I did not agree, who am I to know how a parent should react and to manage a child that is difficult to parent? I had a child that was difficult to manage, she was destructive to herself, to others and at one point, I was afraid I would have to give her up. We persevered, I believe love is stronger that her disability. Today she is in her early 40’s lives mostly on her own and has had a part time job for 11 years. Parenting her is not over and it is still not easy. She still responds as if she is 14 to the confusing world around her. Interpreting life and managing the troubles that is still a problem. I worry what will happen to her when I am gone? These are things that only another parent of a special needs child could ever understand. I think you are brave for putting yourself out there to help others who are in the care of our autistic children. It can be confusing and it is nice to know there is a community who understands, other caregivers to lean on, to learn from, and to give support to.



  2. Janette Broom on February 13, 2019 at 1:37 pm

    sorry you have to go through this,you are right to protect yourself and your children, there are some really horrible people out there,as grandmother to a 12 year old grandson i know only too well. keep your head up and be rightly proud of yourself and your lovely family ,much love ,Jan x



  3. Janette Broom on February 13, 2019 at 1:39 pm

    my grandson is on the spectrum



  4. SGW on February 13, 2019 at 1:48 pm

    Some people just exist to troll others. I don’t know why, but when they are hidden behind a computer, they just let loose all their deep, dark, inner demons.Please ignore these sad excuses for humanity. Easy for me to say, I know. But really, they are the ones we should feel sorry for, their souls are in turmoil and will be burning.



    • Barbara Cupo on February 13, 2019 at 8:30 pm

      I think you are a fantastic mom and you are doing a great job. Don’t let anyone disscorage you ,please keep doing what you’re doing Cooper really needs you. He really loves you and needs you.I can’t believe how much you are teaching him,you can see the love he has for in his face.I really believe God gave him to you for a reason.Just keep loveing him and teaching him.He truly is one happy and sweet boy.Thanks to his mother love!



  5. Diane Nelson on February 13, 2019 at 1:55 pm

    Those comments break my heart! I happened to find your blog through a mutual friend in the Unity area. I follow you regularly and admire your sincerely and grace.



  6. Diane Nelson on February 13, 2019 at 1:55 pm

    Those comments break my heart! I happened to find your blog through a mutual friend in the Unity area. I follow you regularly and admire your sincerely and grace.



  7. Trish on February 13, 2019 at 1:57 pm

    Kate I am sorry that these bullies have felt they can attack your beautiful family circle. I can understand your hurt and caution and respect any decision you make regarding their welfare. I have nothing but admiration for both you and Jamie and just love your little family. You have been brave and caring in sharing all that you have. You should be very proud of what you have achieved. Very Best Wishes xx



  8. Kate on February 13, 2019 at 2:22 pm

    This is so awful for you. I have only just discovered your blog and it is very loving and giving. I work with kids on the autistic spectrum and the profound and multiple disabled, so am one of the understanding. Some people are just so naive and clueless about special needs. Have you seen fathering autism on YouTube. It is a wonderful American family with a gorgeous autistic girl. Please give it a view. Stay strong and don’t let the trolls take over. Live n hugs
    Kate ( UK)



  9. Sara on February 13, 2019 at 2:23 pm

    Hang in there! We love your family!



  10. Lisa on February 13, 2019 at 2:24 pm

    It’s absolutely ridiculous that anyone should have to endure that kind of garbage being thrown at them. No one’s family life should be disrupted to the point of fear because uneducated trolls, with nothing better to do with their time, decide that it’s their right to attack a family that they don’t even know. Kate, I know that you know the laws about the internet, ( I watched that video) and I hope you’re able to use them to the fullest extent allowed by law!!



  11. Marlene Morse on February 13, 2019 at 2:26 pm

    I am sad it has come to this. I have learned so much from your story and you have helped me think differently. I will miss the connection I had with your site. I too have a grandson with the higher end of Autism and your site has been wonderful in so many way.

    It’s really hard for me to understand the nasty people out in the world. I just saw a cut from a school that treated children with disabilities horrible, swore at them forbid them their food and made fun of their disabilities and they are
    paid teacher. So very sad. You have done a super job and I know spanking him to get better is way out there. Just won’t happen. Please take care of yourself as well as your beautiful family.



  12. Donna wedl on February 13, 2019 at 2:45 pm

    This is heartbreaking not only to read but especially to know that so called “adults” can be this mean and condescending to another human being. Please believe me when I say that you and your family have touched so many lives…in such a positive way. Keep sharing that precious Cooper of yours……every video I see of him makes my heart smile. You’re an incredible Mom Kate, and your story has helped so many folks! I am a respite provider for a young Autistic man who , like Cooper brings a lot of light to this sometimes dark world.



  13. Pat on February 14, 2019 at 12:33 am

    Ever who wrote these horrible comments know nothing about autism. You are a very brave mom and it is so sweet that you want to share your experiences to help other parents going thru the struggle too. My daughter has two boys that are autistic and I have spent many hours helping with those sweet wonderful boys. I have said many times that you can tell people that the boys are autistic and they say, oh that’s to bad, but they have no idea what it really means to raise an autistic child. They can not imagine how it totally changes everything you do in your home and the way you do it. When the boys were younger the oldest wouldn’t keep his clothes on so I “invented “ clothing styles that he couldn’t get off. I was constantly thinking of ways to try and make it easier for my daughter and her husband. No one that hasn’t worked with autism would think me crazy when something as simple as pushing a plastic toy dog down a child’s slide would cause me to dance, cry and clap after about 3 or 4 hours of coaxing my 2 year old grandson to do this. There are many other small victories over the years that have caused me so much joy. They are in their teens now and like you said in one of your videos, as they get older things change and sometimes you have to go about things in a different way. I can so relate to so much of the things you say and want you to know that you are doing a beautiful job with Cooper who by the way is a very handsome guy. Keep in there and don’t despair you are helping many other parents by sharing. This has always been a desire of mine too. Sometimes just a friendly smile and letting them know you understand and care can make a big difference. Keep sharing. I really enjoy your videos. Bless you.



  14. Cynthia Taylor on February 14, 2019 at 6:40 pm

    I understand your protectiveness of Cooper, I love your videos and you are giving away a whealth of information. I share your videos and only to close friends and family,never public. I am so sorry that not everyone sees how brave and wonderfully generously you give of your time. I admire your courage.



  15. Bea on February 16, 2019 at 5:44 pm

    I simply cannot understand that someone would leave a mean comment… stay strong!
    Sending caring thoughts your way.
    Kindly,
    B



  16. Cindy on February 19, 2019 at 5:50 pm

    I started following your page over a year ago. I have 4 children all adults now but none are on the spectrum. I think you are doing a fantastic job with Cooper. I can see a huge change in him since I started following you. While Cooper maybe nonverbal he is as you said very smart and I can see the improvements in Cooper since I began following your family. I am sadden that there are some out there who are trolling you and saying such hateful things about Cooper and your family. Keep up with what you are doing it is obvious to the majority of us that what you are doing is working. I will also say that Sawyer looks to be such an awesome big brother to Harbor and I will say I am sure as he gets older he will show his love more for Cooper as well. Thank you for sharing your families journey with us.



  17. Ann on February 28, 2019 at 5:13 pm

    This post made me SO ANGRY on your behalf! You are such a good mom, and Cooper is so intelligent… you can see it in his eyes! Don’t EVER let vicious and cruel people stop you from sharing your story and offering a safe place for other families to learn more! xxoo