Posts Tagged ‘Special Needs Parenting’
Exposing him to the Outside World
I went to the bank today. A mundane errand to most…but never to me. In fact, when I have time, I make it a point to get out of my car and go inside the establishment. I do this for two reasons. One: I like to get my steps in where I can, and I also like to encourage my kids to do the same. Two: My son Dawson LOVES the bank. As soon as we walk in, he goes straight for the chairs. You know those fancy ones they…
Read MoreHere’s to the Heroes
My house is mostly male, so in turn we love all of the super hero movies. Hours of our lives have been spent watching comic book characters do amazing things on the screen and admiring how they handle stressful situations and in the end everything works out and they save the world. This letter is not about them. This letter is to the everyday heroes in our lives, because there are many. Even more than have ever been created to entertain the masses. Thanks to my wife First off. Thanks…
Read MoreI Used To Be So Much
I haven’t always been comfortable in my own skin. Truthfully, I’m still not. But I’m trying. Trying to silence the voice which says… You used to be thin. You used to be beautiful. You used to be brave. All those things. I am grappling with the truth of a life that is far from what I expected. Autism has thrown me a curve ball and I’m still fumbling the catch some two years later. The ghosts of perfection still haunt me. But. I’m stronger now. I’ve learned to raise a…
Read MoreThe Rubbish Door
As I was driving somewhere the other day with my kids, I saw a fully intact door sticking out of a dumpster. The dumpster was full of rubbish, and sticking out of the top like some kind of afterthought was this door with hinges and doorknob still attached. Something about the picture this made had me slowing down as we passed. I thought about The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe and Monsters Inc. and wondered about doorways to other universes. I wondered about doors that allow you to time…
Read MoreA Week of Forevers
This week was a mixed bag. Or maybe, a grab bag. I guess I don’t really know what it was but I’m confident the word bag should be included. Maybe. It was hard and good, happy and hopeless, hopeful and unrelenting, energized and bone-weary. It simultaneously flew by and seemed like it would never end. In short, it was a normal week. Our new normal, anyway. On any given day I felt that our life was certain to be filled with nothing but trying to push our sweet boy up…
Read MoreThe Woman who said, “I’ve been there”
I was in line at the doctor’s office not very long ago trying to juggle my son James with one hand and my purse and clipboard of endless insurance and medical forms in the other. And that’s when I saw her standing in the line beside me wearing a pink sweatshirt, leggings, and her hair pulled back in a ponytail. Like me, she had her hands full with her toddler, stroller, and loaded diaper bag. We made eye contact seconds before my little Houdini wiggled himself out of my arms…
Read MoreParenting a Child with Nonverbal Autism
You will forever have hope that the next year will be when they begin to talk, then you realize it been almost 18 years since the diagnosis. Many years ago, right after Jake was diagnosed, my heart hurt, and I was seeking how to express who my sweet boy was. So I wrote this poem. Looking back on my writing, I truly had no idea the journey ahead of us, but it’s played out just like I wrote, so many years ago. A poem for my son. My boy, Jake…
Read MoreI’m Sorry It Took So Long to Learn to be Your Mama
As I write this post you are sound asleep. You are curled up in the fetal position and breathing softly. Although you are now 10 years old, as I gaze down at you, you are still my baby. It seems like yesterday that I first held you in my arms. Tonight, before you fell asleep, you pulled me close for an ‘eye hug’. You nuzzled your right arm under my left shoulder and then pulled my face right in front of yours with your left hand. When our faces met,…
Read MoreThe Second Day of Kindergarten
When motherhood arrived, one of the many moments I looked forward to with warm cozy anticipation was the first day of kindergarten experience. I enjoyed collecting the kindergarten wardrobe and elementary school kid supplies. I remember laying my oldest daughter’s new school clothes across her bed while we carefully chose the first day outfit perfection. Then the day arrived and I was full of “I love you!” and “Mommy and Daddy are so proud of you” and then, the ever so common bittersweet “How did you grow up so fast?”…
Read MoreThank You to the Man who Chose Himself
Thank you to the man who chose himself over his child: Being a single mom is really hard. Being a single mom to a special needs child is next level. I never realized the strength I had inside of me. You helped me release these very primal instincts when it comes to our son, that I had no idea existed. I share such a rare and special bond with him because he is all I had for so long. It was just he and I everyday. There isn’t a person…
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