Posts Tagged ‘Special Needs Parenting’
The Child Before the Diagnosis
We were standing on our patio and a plane flew close above us. It was loud and very easy to spot. “Look guys, a plane!” My 20 month old son followed my finger and he pointed too and smiled, “Ah, plann,” he said. I smiled with him. It looked nice against the crisp sky with everything around us covered in snow. I looked over at my daughter who had her back to us and was smiling too. She was still looking opposite us into the sky searching for a plane.…
Read MoreI Wished this Version of Autism didn’t Exist
Unanswered questions and the fear of the unknown, Kept me awake at night and I felt so alone. People saying, “He’ll grow out it”, or Autism is a gift, Had no idea what they were saying, I wished this version of Autism didn’t exist. Robbing a child of their voice and basic life skills isn’t being blessed, It’s heartbreaking to watch, and leaves you all feeling distressed. Advocates and other Autism Mum’s may isolate you for being negative, They claim that to the ‘Autism world’ you’re being insensitive. Maybe it’s…
Read MoreOur New Normal
As I sit here tonight, it hit me hard. How many things in life I thought we’d be doing so effortlessly at this phase of Jackson’s development. Without worry. Or planning. Or hesitation. Tonight, we didn’t go to “movie night” at my son’s school because movies make him anxious. Like freak out, meltdown anxious. Just because they’re long. And that’s if we’re at home. No way could he tolerate a loud movie with dozens of people around. They served popcorn and drinks. None of which he’d eat. Or drink. It’s…
Read MoreMy Dear Friend Sally
Hi Sally Yes, that’s your real name. You are a real person. A middle aged woman. Honestly, it’s easier for me to respond to you when I think of you as a human being. A real person with thoughts, feelings and emotions. A grace that I’m not sure you granted me. I also won’t share your last name. This group of special needs parents is pretty fierce. When I share your comment I’m sure many of them will want to hunt you down and comment on your perfect life. I’m…
Read MoreWhen I Think about Reality
When I was pregnant with our third baby, Jamie and I would talk about our worries over introducing another little one to the family. There were two of us. There would be three of them. We’d be going from man-to-man to zone defense. But there was more to it than just that. Our son Cooper, who was 7 at the time, and now 8, didn’t have any self care. That means we dress him. We put his shoes on. We still feed him many of his meals. He doesn’t grab…
Read MoreWill You Talk Then?
I don’t often talk about God or heaven or religion on this blog. I don’t because the few times I have…people yell at me. Or it makes people feel uncomfortable. And I don’t want to do that. People can believe whatever they want to believe. So, I made the decision to not openly talk about religion. But I will tell you, that I went through a period where I was angry at God. I didn’t understand why my son was picked to have autism. It didn’t feel fair to him.…
Read MoreBeauty in the Breakdown
As Moms, all of our children have had a public “temper tantrum”. It’s awful. You can see it coming most times and try to brace yourself for impact. Tantrums stink point blank. You’re sweating, your kid is flailing, people are staring and you just want to RUN. A meltdown is a bit different. A meltdown occurs when a body has endured too much stress. It looks like a tantrum but can not be contained like a tantrum. Meltdowns can get ugly, real ugly. Meltdowns not only break down your child…
Read MoreMy Kid is Not a Monster
This piece was shared with me by Danielle of Story of Noahism. I read an awful story this morning and I’m sure some of you in this community have too. The one about a young boy with autism that was dragged through the hallways of his school by a teacher/para. Another one these stories that we seem to be hearing more and more of lately. As a parent to a child on the spectrum, these things are terrifying and heartbreaking. And I made the mistake of reading the comments on…
Read MoreThe Dark Place
I wanted to share something that any Autism parent will understand. It is a place that we all have been. It’s called the dark place. I go there at night when everyone is asleep. It’s when the reality and fears set in of being a parent to a special needs child. The what will happen when I’m gone place. The how will they be able to have a life of their own and build a meaningful and reciprocal relationship place. The who will care for them when I’m not here…
Read MoreAutism is Never Easy
I would like to share something with you. Something that I am embarrassed to admit, but I think that it needs to be said. Perhaps it shows my ignorance, my vulnerability, or my true colors of who I am. When I would drop my son Brayden off at the WEAP, ABA preschool center, I would walk him into the classroom and stop and observe all of the children surrounding me. They all had autism. None of them were flapping, obviously stimming, and some had vocabulary well beyond their age. They…
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