Posts Tagged ‘Special Needs Parenting’
Grieving the Child I Thought I Lost
The day after Mason’s confirmed diagnosis I couldn’t shake my unexplainable feeling of loss. But I didn’t lose my child. In fact, he was sitting 3 feet away, happily lining up his cars on the tv stand, babbling in a language only he could understand. Even though he was close enough to touch, I felt a gaping hole; like part of my life, the before Autism part, had died. When we got home from the assessment appointment, I dug out Mason’s baby book. The record I had so proudly and…
Read MoreGrieving Over Two Very Different Things
In December 2012, I had a baby girl but she ended up passing away to SIDS three days after my husband came home from a deployment. We were devastated and broken. Our whole family was. It was some dark times. One month later we found out we were expecting again. I said this time I’m going to do everything different. I ate better. I cloth diapered. I made organic baby food. I wanted to breastfeed. I was so scared of SIDS happening. I just didn’t want to ever go through…
Read MoreWelcome to Autism Island
When we walked out of the doctor’s office that morning, it felt like we had walked off of a plane at an unexpected layover on foreign soil. The world looked differed here. The air felt heavy and my husband seemed fine…like he knew where we were. Maybe because he’s been here before with his son. But this time, there was no connecting flight back to our old lives. It feels like we just stayed here and started our new lives, so welcome to Autism Island and wherever your journey may…
Read MoreThe Never-Ending Cycle of Adjustments
Often I think life is so unfair. Why did my child get autism and virtually no one else I know has a child with it? My son was diagnosed with autism at 2 years 10 months, right before he was about to age out of First Steps, Kentucky’s early intervention system. At the time, I was pregnant with my second son and scared to death my baby would be diagnosed eventually with autism as well. I was one of the “lucky” ones, though, I guess, because he was identified early…
Read MoreDreams Change
“When he is older he will be grand”, “he’ll grow out of it”, “ah you would never know looking at him”. Just some comments that are frequently said to me about my little boy. The reality is people just don’t get it. When you become a parent, you dream of doing so much with your little baby as they grow. Trips to the cinema, out for ice cream together, trips to the beach, or just out for a walk holding hands. I dreamed of all of these things too. I…
Read MoreA Letter to My “Typical” Son
Dear Eli, You are such a blessing to our family. You came into this world as a teeny tiny miracle. You arrived 6 weeks early. Those first few weeks were so hard. I ached to have you home. The house felt so incomplete without you there. Since the day you came home, you became mommy’s baby boy. You were a miracle in so many ways. Not only were you our little preemie but you also were our first child that was typical. You made us so happy with every word…
Read MoreI Wasn’t Scared of Autism
I wasn’t scared of autism; I knew all about it. My brother has autism and he’s a happy, odd, 30-year old dude living his best life. So, when my son was diagnosed with autism, I was saddened that he’d have obstacles but I was also hopeful that he would find his voice like my brother had. I assumed that our family would rally around my son and be there for him as he finds his own path; I see now I was being naive. When my son was an infant…
Read MoreA Letter to My Nonverbal Son
My sweet little Isaac. You can’t tell me you love me, but you sure show it. You don’t sing the words to songs, but your loud humming makes me laugh. I want to tell you I’m sorry though. I’m sorry you get frustrated because you can’t tell me things. I’m sorry for the bad days I have when I hate autism. I’m sorry the world doesn’t understand that you need patience and acceptance. But I’m so proud of you. I’m so proud that you can wave to me. I love…
Read MoreOur Hopes and Goals for 2019
I can’t believe how fast 2018 flew by. It was a rough journey for our family. We faced many challenges. New diagnosis’s. New problem behaviors. Anxiety issues. The list goes on… I am going to stay hopeful for 2019. We are going to work even harder. I am going to continue to stay hopeful Kash will talk. I will continue working hard with him. We will continue working on his problem behaviors. We will continue working on ways to help his anxiety. My son Kash is a sweet, caring, funny…
Read MoreI Feel Helpless at Times
I feel so helpless at times. I wasn’t prepared for that I guess. I am a strong mom. I know that for sure. I am a firm believer that all things can be fixed. If we just work hard enough. Never give up. No situation is helpless. That is what I preach. My son has autism. Or he is autistic. Whichever one you want me to say. I am also supposed to say it makes up who he is. He wouldn’t be him without autism. I think I am supposed…
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