Posts Tagged ‘Special Needs Parenting’
Dancing in the Moonlight
A little girl maybe 4 walked up to me at the park today and asked me to push her on the swings. I said to ask her Mommy if that was ok first and she turned to me and said…you know when you fall down you just have to try a new way. She walked off but I doubt she saw me sitting on the swing with tears rolling down my cheeks. This was the most profound thing that has ever happened to me in all my 33 years. How…
Read MoreReality Bites
I have 3 beautiful children. Ethan 13 and Gavin 9, have been diagnosed with Level III Autism, without intellectual impairment. My youngest Moira, 3, is just lacking that official stamp. Gavin showed textbook signs, lining up cars in perfect rows, total organization, sensory overload, late speech, I think I was ready for him, but I never quite put the pieces together with Ethan. Looking back I should have seen something. All the signs were there, but as a first time Mom you think, you’re overreacting. He NEVER wanted to be…
Read MoreWhen My Life Was Flipped Upside Down by a Dual Diagnosis
The other day my life was flipped upside down. We were on our way home from the video EEG and the impact of a dual diagnosis struck me to my core. It was a Friday afternoon. Derek was driving. I was watching all the cars out the window. My mind was reviewing the information we had learned and coming up with a new list of to-do’s. When, suddenly, it dawned on me. This is our life. Appointments, tests, seizures, medical fears, disruptive behaviors, therapies, financial burdens, hospital stays, unrelenting exhaustion…
Read MoreSanta did not Bring my Nonverbal Son’s Voice
Every time I go through a “grieving phase” of autism I always think it will be my last, or at least I always hope it is. However, emotions are fluid, and thus like waves in the ocean it never dies. I find that holidays are always a stressor for the grieving process. It truly is hard to let go of what you thought your life would have been like prior to the diagnosis of autism. I think it’s hard for people who aren’t going through this to understand that. It’s…
Read MoreWe are Just in the Thick of it Right Now
Jamie and I have been talking a lot lately about the future. I think it’s because we are in the thick of it right now. We have three kids. Three young kids. All boys. Busy, busy boys. Busy schedules. Sports. Play dates. Therapy appointments. Families. Friends. Obligations. Dogs. A constantly messy house. Mounds of laundry. Careers. Trying to make money. Pay down debt. Sleep deprivation. We both want to get healthier. That means trying to eat right and get to the gym. We both want to find balance. It’s like…
Read MoreA Normal Breath
I was finally sitting on the couch with a cup of tea when my oldest daughter came downstairs. “Um, Mom, I just walked in on Ellie in the bathroom and she was holding poop in her hand.” Shit. Literally. So this is it, this is going to be the “next thing”. Our new challenge. A new behavior. A new reason to hold my breath. It is the day after Christmas and I feel as though I haven’t exhaled in the last 72 hours. I thought I could finally breathe normally.…
Read MoreMy Transformation as a Mother
My “best” moment in regards to my daughter’s autism actually came on the heels of my worst. It had been a stressful week. My mother was in town visiting. I was kinda-sorta halfheartedly still trying to potty train. Kira was sitting on the toilet. I knew she had to pee but she was holding it. She started to fuss and threw her head back, hitting it on the toilet lid. When she self-injures, which is rarely, it triggers something in me—immense frustration; almost rage. I snatched her off the toilet and…
Read MoreOur Lives Look Different Than Most
In the world of special needs parenting, the hard moments seem to be adding up the older my son gets. And they actually seem to be getting harder too, and more defining. This past summer there was one of these particularly moments, one that forever changed me. One that truly made me realize not only how autism affects Noah…but us, as a family. We made plans to go to an indoor jungle gym—the perfect place for kids right? We actually had celebrated Noah’s first birthday party there. But he wasn’t…
Read MoreThe Woman who Changed our Lives
I would like to honor my son, Gabe’s dance teacher/therapist Jackie Zamora. Jackie has a dance class called Zamdance. It’s for all children and adults with intellectual disabilities. A little about us… My name is Nicole. When I was 29 years old my husband passed away while I was 12 weeks pregnant with Gabe. When he was 18 months old Gabe was diagnosed with autism. He is now 9 years old and is non verbal with significant delays. I never thought I could be happy again after Gabe was diagnosed…
Read MoreLearning to Love Life with a Special Needs Child
It was still dark out when my eyes opened. One child was still breathing quietly under the comforters, while another cozied up next to me suckling at my breast. There was just enough time for me to put on a face and prepare for Julian’s Christmas party. If he can get 45 more minutes of sleep I thought to myself, we will be in good shape. I could coerce him into wearing something other than his dinosaur sweat pants…And just maybe, he will take delight in his Christmas party! I…
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