Posts Tagged ‘Special Needs Parenting’
A Letter to my Firstborn
I guess you don’t remember when it was just you and me. A time before having a sibling to share the attention that you so desperately craved. We had two years alone together, you and I. We would read endless books together because it was your favorite thing to do. We would go for walks, to playgrounds, to play places, to restaurants. We were out in the world and we loved exploring it. I would marvel at each new thing that you learned. I would watch with a heart full…
Read MoreFriend, Don’t Ever Downplay your Child’s Wins for Me
The other day I ran into an old friend at Target. I hadn’t seen her in ages. It was the same old story. Kids, jobs, chaos and time just slipped away. Before we knew it a year had past since we last spoke. We decided to stretch our time at Target and grab a coffee and chat. One of the reasons that this friend and I initially bonded is because we both have kids on the spectrum. We met at an advocacy event and connected immediately. Both our boys were…
Read MoreA Victory for our Family
Here is the photo that means so much to Jamie and I. We take nothing for granted because we know how hard our son works to do tasks that seem so simple to the world. It’s not as simple as going to church. It’s pressure. It’s putting on special clothes. Riding to a new place with his personal care attendant. Walking into a building. Staying calm with noisy people. Smiling for photos. We practiced for months. We worked on skills every single day. It’s a pretty big deal. And in…
Read MoreTeacher Gives Boy with Autism ‘Most Annoying’ Award
As a mom to a child with autism, I have many fears about the world we live in. I worry about children bullying him. I worry about his safety. I worry about him being targeted for emotional, physical or even emotional abuse. I worry about so many things. I’m his mom. That’s my job. But honestly, never have I worried about something like this story. A father is expressing disbelief this week after his fifth-grader, who is autistic, was given a trophy dubbing him the “most annoying male” for the…
Read MoreAn Autism Mom’s Perspective on 20 Years
Twenty years…How can it be two decades since you came into this world with a hail storm in June? No kidding. On June 4, 1999 my sweet Jake was making his debut into this world unremarkable, when somewhere around 4:15pm, the sky got dark, and as everyone in the room noticed began to peer out the window, a hail storm came, with thunder and lightening… Then, the sun came out, and minutes later you were born…my sweet, Jake Timothy Helms was born, 4:40pm 9 lbs 3 oz.. On that very…
Read MoreWhat’s the Biggest Change you’ve seen from Medication?
A lot of parents ask me about medications. Is our son on them? What specifically are you treating? Do they work? Side effects? What’s the biggest change you’ve see with them? They ask because they need help helping their child. It’s as simple as that. They aren’t lazy parents. They aren’t giving up. They’ve tried the therapies. They’ve researched. They’ve advocated. They’ve done more than they every thought possible. And their child still needs more. Maybe it’s with anxiety. Or with ADHD. Or even depression. And let me be clear…
Read MoreDon’t Cut the Highs or the Lows Short
When I look at the toughest times in my life… My miscarriage. When my son was diagnosed with autism. When I was struggling with my marriage. Occasional money troubles. Losing people I love. I see a few common themes. One…I had no one to talk too. And two…I tried to pretend I was fine. I tried to rush through the hard. I had no one in my life that was going through similar issues. Or if they were…I had no idea. Because I was too afraid to talk about my…
Read MoreMy Most Important Lesson
I know two things to be true: My son has severe, debilitating anxiety. And, it’s not his fault. I want to say that to you again. So it sinks in. And while I do, I want you to picture our family. Jamie, me, the boys. Out in the community. Sawyer playing. The baby in his stroller. And one of us holding Cooper. Or chasing Cooper. It’s clear that he is struggling. It’s clear that we aren’t enjoying ourselves. Maybe we asked him to walk to the car. Or turn right…
Read MoreSomething as Simple as a Haircut
Sometimes autism slaps you in the face and man does it sting. Today, was one of those days. Most days we are plugging along, going to therapy, school and work and although autism is always there (Franklin is 4 and nonverbal so believe me it’s always there) it’s background noise. Franklin and Scarlett are healthy and happy and so is our family. But then something as simple as a haircut, changes everything and autism is smack in your face, rearing its ugly head. We have been putting it off for…
Read MoreI Knew it would be Hard, Just not this Hard
When my son was diagnosed with autism five years ago, I knew we were in for a challenge. And I don’t just mean the fight for services or supports, I just knew my little guy was a pistol. At that time, he didn’t sleep. At all. He was up all night and started our day around 4 am. I also knew that he hated all foods. And refused to eat almost everything. I knew he couldn’t communicate. And refused to participate. I knew everything was a fight. He refused to…
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