Posts Tagged ‘Special Needs Parenting’
They Say he has Autism
“They say he has autism.” I didn’t go with my wife to the appointment with the developmental pediatrician that day. I had taken a couple sick days not too long before then, and I didn’t think it would be prudent to take another off. I remember telling her I wasn’t worried about what we were going to hear. “He’s just a little behind,” I had said, confident in the outcome of the appointment. “I was behind. I had to go to therapy and all that. Look, he’s only two. We’ve…
Read MoreLife is about Perspective
Life is all about perspective. And how you look at it. Having a son with severe, nonverbal autism has changed everything for me. I’m learning as I go. I’m getting stronger while giving myself grace to accept and grow. Sawyer and I just got home from the store. He spent his birthday money on a Lego set. He was so excited to go, choose (that’s half the fun!), and pay. He’s been anticipating our trip for days. He even did a few chores around the house today to earn extra…
Read MoreThe Parts No One Talks About
There are parts of autism that the world simply doesn’t talk about. The ugly parts. The scary parts. And the sad parts. No one talks about physical aggressions or self injuring. Or fecal smearing. Or even what happens to nonverbal, severe kids when they grow up. And I don’t just mean age 20. I mean age 60, long after their parents are dead. Do they go into nursing homes? Who cares for them? Instead, we hear about the beautiful parts of autism. And the dramatic ones. The newsworthy ones. You…
Read MoreA Second Child Changed So Much
We’ve lived with autism for four years, some days it feels much longer. I’ve always wanted kids, wanted what you see on TV, in magazines and what your parents teach you. A boy and a girl. A perfect family. But what is perfect? Four years ago we had our first child, a gorgeous little boy that melted our hearts with his wonderful smile and infectious laugh. However, from a very young age things never felt right. He slept for an hour at the most at any one time, refused to…
Read MoreMy Son, I am So Sorry
My sweet boy, how I love you so. We have had such a long week and I’m sorry. I am so tired of doctors, and needles, and hospitals, and machines, and all of it. I’m tired of having to be the one who makes you suffer through this stuff. But the doctors tell me there is more to look for, so in the hopes of doing the best I absolutely can for you, I keep looking. I keep fighting, and I keep pushing. And I know you are even more…
Read MoreAutism Touches Every Part of Everything
I am not sure when the moment hit because I was so deep into autism, I did not even realize the epiphany I had. When Jayden was diagnosed just before age three I had so much hope, and do not get me wrong I am still filled with tons of hope for Jayden’s future. I just had some unrealistic expectations of life like ‘The Good Doctor type of autism’ instead of the autism that has a potty timer going off every thirty to forty-five minutes, depending on the day. Somewhere…
Read MoreHow do I Explain Autism…
I’ve been thinking about this for a long time. How would I explain my autism world to someone with no experience with autism? I have two sons, ages 3 and 5. They both have moderate autism with severe communication delays. From a distance, or through filtered Instagram pictures, my sons look perfectly normal. Their disability appears discrete and insignificant to the untrained eye. How debilitating could it be? It’s absolutely devastating and almost invisible at the same time. My sons are verbal and I thank God for that. A verbal…
Read MoreI’m not Always Grateful
I sat there bouncing my baby on my knee. I was surrounded by people. I watched the group of children singing Jesus Loves Me. So casually. Standing in a line. The youngest was 4. The oldest was 8. A boy. Cooper’s age. I watched him specifically. He was wearing a tie. He was standing so still. Holding the microphone. Then he sang his name. Four words. ‘My name is Ben.’ He sounded like an angel. I realized in that moment I wasn’t breathing. I had stopped bouncing my baby. I…
Read MoreThe Little Boy in the Mirror
Young boy looks in the mirror and wonders, who am I to you? I know I’m some kind of different and not less Yet I’m more than just a condition Just have to accept me with love and understanding Because I’m that amazing, unique, and special all wrapped in one I see that little boy in the mirror now and I say You’re perfect just who you are Love doesn’t need no words You are worth everything and more Still I accept just who you are Because just like the…
Read MoreThe Secrets We Keep
I backed out of the garage. Music blaring. Sunglasses on. To my neighbors it probably appeared like I was just running an errand. To the grocery store most likely. My neighborhood was alive as usual. So many people in their yards and driveways. I saw kids playing tag. Some were riding bikes. A few waved and shouted, ‘hello.’ I saw people gathered at the park. Babies in strollers. Dogs chasing balls. I live here, in this neighborhood. Suburbia. Every family much like ours. Two or more kids. Parents busy with…
Read More