Posts Tagged ‘special needs family’
It Will Always Be You and Me
You and me Murph. We’ve been what each other need throughout this journey of Autism. On the good days we celebrate together. On the bad days we survive together. On the average days we manage to find something extraordinary together. On the days you slip away, I wait for you, and on the days when frustration and self doubt cause me to disappear, you manage to show me it’s going to be okay. You wait for me too, Murph and never think differently of me, even on my worst days.…
Read MoreGood Old Dog
Does anyone out there have an old dog? One that you’ve had forever? So long that you can’t really remember life before you had her? That’s our Chloe. She’s a permanent fixture in our life. For 13 years she’s patiently waited at the door for us to come home. Now she can’t really hear so we have to gently wake her up when we get home. We don’t want to startle her. We used to call her a nighttime bandit because she could get food off any counter, no matter…
Read MoreMother’s Day 2021
Someone recently said to me…’your hands are sure full.’ And when I responded with an ‘um yep.’ She said…’better full then empty I always say.’ And I’ve thought about her words many times since. My hands are very full and soon, when baby is born, filled to capacity. Full is good. Full is amazing. But it’s also chaotic and loud and hard sometimes. I had very few expectations for today. I wanted to watch my middle son play hockey. Which I got too! (Go Sawyer!) And I wanted a picture…
Read MoreWe Can’t Be Scared Anymore
I remember years ago, when my son was first diagnosed with autism, a mother of a child with needs saying to me… ‘I have five children in total, one with autism. My husband works nights and weekends and I need to be able to go to the grocery store with my kids. I don’t have a choice.’ I remember being so frustrated with her, me, life, everything. Our world was shrinking quickly. The places we could actually go dwindling. My son was unable to sit. Or wait. He couldn’t handle…
Read MoreYou are My Best Teacher
Cooper, Mother’s Day is right around the corner. Our tenth one together. And while traditionally the child would be saying nice things about the mom, I’m switching it around this year. Because yesterday I had the most amazing realization. And while I’ve known for a while, yesterday it truly sunk in. You, my son, have taught me more than any other person on this earth. You’ve taught me to see…really see. You’ve taught me to listen…not just hear. And you’ve taught me the importance of getting off the beaten path…
Read MoreA Trip to the Zoo
Today we visited the Como Park Zoo & Conservatory. It’s a smallish, local zoo that is perfect for our boys. And with covid state restrictions, the capacity is limited and we can move and explore at our own pace. We told Cooper yesterday that we were going. He woke up at 2:45 am this morning ready to go. Thankfully, he was ok with setting a countdown timer for our departure time of 1:15 pm. He also used his voice to say Z-O-O about a thousand times. By noon he waiting…
Read MoreI’m Lucky Enough to be Your Mom
My Dearest Nicholas, You made me a mother six years ago. My first Mother’s Day was spent in the NICU. You came into this world with a number of challenges. Swallowing issues, developmental delay, sensory difficulties, non-verbal Autism, a rare genetic mutation, the list goes on. Despite not being able to talk, as your mother, I still know exactly what you want. I know when you point toward the kitchen counter, you need a tissue from the Kleenex box. I know when you bring me your tablet, you want to…
Read MoreHope is Just a Dream
I spent the first four years of my son’s life in a frantic state of hope. A hope that he would be “healed” like so many of the stories I had been incessantly devouring. Such as the story of the boy who spent his early childhood spinning disks on the floor–unable to connect with his mother sitting directly across from him–who later went on to be a successful CEO. Like the girl, full of quirks and disconnect, who went on to be the cheerleading captain of her high school. And…
Read MoreBig Things in Our World
So today, we did something really brave. Something that’s been on our goal list for years. We took our son Cooper to a restaurant. Now I know to most folks that’s not a big, huge deal. But to us, it is. Cooper went to his last restaurant at 18 months old. We were basically kicked out. It was humiliating. We tried one other time years later but had to leave mid meal. So it’s been 8 long years. And been a goal for the last few. Sitting. Waiting. Eating. Noise.…
Read MoreFacing My Fears
Yesterday I visited my dad in a nursing home. It’s funny how our mind and our heart can play tricks on us. Meaning, I understood he was in there, but I couldn’t really believe it. Even as I type the words ‘nursing home’ I have the urge to erase them. It was also his birthday. 79 years young I told him. As I drove the nearly three-hour drive alone to visit him, I tried to prepare myself for what I was going to see and feel. Would he be the…
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