What a Stranger Sees

I saw you walking your dogs. You had arrived at the deserted park the same time we did. Me, Cooper, Sawyer, the baby and Jamie. A family of five. We park, the doors spring open, and immediately Cooper’s squeals of joy fill the quiet, cold air. I smiled at you. You and your two dogs. You are young. Out for a hike. I imagine you don’t have kids yet. You are a dog mom. That used to be me. Now I have three boys. We are so loud. It’s safe…

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The Woman in the I-Hop Parking Lot

My son Colt is 6 years old with severe non-verbal autism. He is the youngest of 3 boys. It is not easy for all of us to go out together as a family. Going to the movies with Colt is just out of the question. He would rock in his seat and vocalize loudly (if he even stayed in his seat). Bowling? No way, I can just imagine chasing him through the lanes while dodging bowling balls. Going anywhere that is crowded and loud is a huge gamble and takes…

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Autism and Puberty: Our Own Perfect Storm

Puberty has started to rear its head in our home again. We’ve already gotten a taste of it with our 14-year-old son, but now we have a 12-year-old girl in the throes of it; a 12-year-old girl who also happens to have autism. We are only about six months in, and I have already come to the conclusion that autism and puberty go together like oil and water. It’s hard enough for a typical kid to understand all the changes going on within them. Life becomes an emotional whirlwind as…

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I’m not Sorry

Many times I have heard and read about how parents of children on the autism spectrum absolutely hate it when someone who has just learned his/her child has autism says, “I´m sorry”. I don´t feel the same way. I´m actually grateful when someone has a polite or sympathetic comment to make when they learn my 5 year old daughter has autism. Some people don´t know what to say and instead of being quiet they say things like, “I saw Rain man”, “she can talk, she´s not autistic”, “she looks so…

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In the Blink of an Eye

When I pictured my life 10 years ago kids were not in the picture. I just could not picture myself as a mom, then one almost breast augmentation later, I was pregnant with my first. Finding that out on the operating table was one of the most comical experience I’ve been through – let’s just say plastic surgeons are not used to telling people they are pregnant! Nonetheless, now I am a mom to two beautiful boys. Our road to getting here has not been easy, my husband is an…

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A Letter to my Pregnant Self

Looking back at pictures of myself while I was pregnant does not bring back much sentiment. Instead, they make me sad. I look at the woman in those photos, so full of hope, so desperate to be a mother, oblivious to how drastic her life is going to change, and it just breaks my heart. If I could write a letter to her, I don’t know what I would say. Do I sugarcoat things for her to let her enjoy the time of ignorance, of denying, of saying, “he’ll catch…

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The Day Everything Changed

April 20th, 2017. This is a day I will NEVER forget! A day I had waited so long for but dreaded at the same time. Today was Jaxon’s evaluation day! We woke up that morning and my stomach was already in a knot but we got ourselves ready and dropped our older son Dom off at school. Our appointment was for 10am and I was determined to be early. I told myself I wanted to just get it over with because I already knew what was coming. I had already…

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The World Deserves to Know Him

We have always been very diligent in letting our son interact with the world. At 19, he is 6’3” and 230lbs. If he were the same boy as he was at 6 or 12, he could not be living with us. We could not handle him at this size. It’s been scary, difficult, unpredictable and emotionally hard. Time consuming and physically demanding at times. But with a neurotypical daughter who is an avid athlete, we knew he had to be acclimated to her world and the world. As much as…

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We were Oblivious to the Obvious

I don’t really remember how old Holly was when we realised she was “different” and by different I mean not the same as my best friends son. We didn’t really have any other children around us of the same age and no other comparisons. Comparisons of children will always be made whether warranted or not, welcome or not! Our children were born 3 weeks apart and our friendship blossomed as we shared our firsts together.  Our first child, our first close friends to experience children together. Our children’s first tooth,…

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To my Partner in Life

My name is Amber and I am hard of hearing and an autism mother. I want to thank my husband, the man who is always fighting for awareness of our autistic son. This is going on year 3 since I found out about the autism diagnosis of my son, Jason. I remember being in the room the diagnosis day and just was feeling all mixed emotions. I was speechless going through the whole evaluation with my son. I just wanted to go home and cuddle my son and be done…

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