Posts Tagged ‘Special Needs Child’
When I Dream I Hear Your Voice
When I dream, I hear your voice. The sweet song that will be snatched away by the light of day and eyes awake. You tell me stories of your life, a life that I have never known and will never know outside of eyes closed. You sing tenderly to me as we walk hand in hand. Your body moves like velvet falling over a keyboard. Smooth. Gentle. Quiet. You point to fascinations and exclaim delight. All the words that you require are no longer lost. You are no longer lost.…
Read MoreThe Calm to Their Chaos
Life has slowed down over here. We are so used to running to and from, in and out. But we don’t mind. Because we have a baby to hold and snuggle. Sawyer and Harbie fight over who gets to hold her next. Harbie insists she is his baby. Sawyer, being a mature 8, refuses to argue but also insists that she is his. And Cooper, he is still taking his time. I know he’s proud though because this morning he tapped me on the shoulder to get my attention, and…
Read MoreA Life Without Words
Six years ago, a therapist tough loved me. My son had recently been diagnosed with autism. On paper he was what they call nonverbal. There are lots of ways to explain what that means. It’s not black and white. It’s a complicated, unique, description. For him, it meant he had no spoken words. Not one. He had no consistent sounds for certain words either. He didn’t use sign language. Or a speech device. He couldn’t type his wants or needs. It meant if his sock was bunched or his head…
Read MoreA Family of Six
Well, we survived our first day and night as a family of six! Some things were as we expected. Some were a surprise. Sawyer is an amazing big brother and he fell in love instantly. Cooper is taking his time to get to know her and we are in no way rushing him. He acknowledged her at first and is now keeping his distance. Harbie is obsessed with her. At age two we didn’t quite know how he’d respond to her. Well, it’s all love. She is his baby and…
Read MoreA Parent’s Connection Beyond Words
“Hey best buddy, do you want to play ball with L and I?” Andy asked, as Leo whizzed by, plopping himself firmly on the grass, contagious giggles roaring from deep within his belly. I sat beside my boy, gently scratching his back, while he busily gathered grass and dirt, shuffling them between his fingertips, watching intently as the football whirled by him, back and forth between Andy and our young family member visiting. A game of catch. A past time often enjoyed by father and son; yet, not only challenging…
Read MoreTo the Parents Who Blame Themselves
When I was first born I was everything you had waited for, I was the dream you had both been holding onto for so long. I came when you needed me the most, after loss I was the rainbow that came after an awful storm and I shone brighter than ever. From the moment i joined your family I knew that you would love me more than anything else in this whole wide world. I was such a content baby who always smiled at everything, my favorite thing was just…
Read MoreWatching His World Open Up
People ask me all the time about my son’s first signs of autism. For some children, it’s textbook. A quick google search returns a lack of or loss of words, struggles with eye contact, and lack of imaginative play. For other kids, the diagnosis doesn’t come so easy. It’s more complicated. Pages full of questions and checkboxes that parents agonize over. Waiting. Worrying. Wondering. For us, our sweet boy was born autistic. From the second he was placed in my arms I knew. Maybe not what. But I knew something.…
Read MorePerfect Night
Tonight was one of those perfect nights. Beautiful weather. Sunshine. Heat. To get this baby out we went to the park. Our park. The one we’ve been going to since we just had Cooper. And now three boys. And soon one more. We moved slower than snails. Backwards sometimes. Any animal that may have been near retreated at the sound of us coming. Cooper looked for whales and penguins. Sawyer asked me questions about how said baby is coming out. And about hospitals and labor. He’s a little nervous about…
Read MoreI’ll Hold Your Hand
This adorable onesie came home in Cooper’s backpack earlier this week. I can’t even tell you how thankful I am that his teacher made it with him for us. And I have no doubt they will hold hands. Because holding hands is Cooper’s favorite. I watch him reach out to me, his dad, and his brothers often. We take turns leading each other. Just as it should be. Finding Cooper’s Voice is a safe, humorous, caring and honest place where you can celebrate the unique challenges of parenting a special…
Read MoreWaiting for Anxiety
My ten year old son has anxiety. Such a simple sentence. One that rolls off my tongue. Like my son has blonde hair or my boy loves trains. The meaning of the sentence is unbelievably complicated though. One with layers of meaning. Some people don’t believe in anxiety. They think it’s a made up thing. Maybe one time I did too. That was before my son. Before autism. Before I met the most amazing, complicated boy who uses movies to communicate. I think of his anxiety as a train sometimes.…
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