Posts Tagged ‘severe autism’
The Different Stages of Accepting Autism
I had no idea that there would be so many different stages surrounding my son’s autism. For example I thought getting the diagnosis would be the hardest part. I really did. I thought going through the pain of realizing something was wrong, making the phone call for the appointment, bringing my baby to be evaluated and hearing the words, ‘yes he is autistic,’ would be the hardest parts we would ever have to go through. We would get help and it would be fine. I was wrong. There are so…
Read MoreWhen Things Are Not As Expected
I’m in bed feeding my beautiful boy his bottle of milk. He’s cradled in my arms and I’m enjoying the cuddle, the quiet, the stillness. Then his brother walks in, leans over and kisses his brother on the forehead. I’ve waited for a moment like this for a lifetime, literally. My heart could burst. Their first kiss! Then I’m bought back down to earth with such an overwhelming pang of sadness. I can’t help but feel it. It’s a bittersweet moment because I’m feeding and cradling in my arms my…
Read MoreWhen You Feel Like You Don’t Belong in Society Anymore
There have been many “hardest” autism moments, and the truth is, when I think it can’t get harder, there is always a next time that makes it harder. I hope that makes sense. There have been many “best moments” too, but let’s talk about the hard times, because we currently just had a horrible moment. The first hardest autism moment came before I even knew he had autism. We had just dropped Dad off for a year long deployment at the airport. I wouldn’t have even attempted the store, but…
Read MoreYou Can’t Let Cooper Win
This weekend I shared a photo of Cooper resting after a pretty brutal anxiety attack. You can read about it HERE. I wrote about how our family is at a unique crossroads. We need to figure out how to manage his anxiety, give our other children a normal life and keep our sanity. i said anxiety won. And someone responded with…’you can’t let Cooper win.’ Like he was deliberately sabotaging our family outing. I just shook my head when I read that. Cooper isn’t winning. No one is. We are…
Read MoreAutism and Christmas (VIDEO)
For the first six years of my son’s life he didn’t care at all about Christmas. He didn’t care about the presents, or the tree, or Santa. He didn’t care about celebrating with our family, or traditions, or preparing for the holiday. It was so hard on our family. And as he got older, it got harder. There was no making a Christmas list, attending church, baking cookies, visiting Santa or even going to dinner at Grandma’s house. Not only did he not understand, he detested opening gifts, the music,…
Read MoreAt the Crossroads of Anxiety and Acceptance
Today, our son’s anxiety won. I say that because his anxiety is like it’s own force. It’s a thing. It’s always present. Always lurking under the surface. It always wins. It shuts him down and takes over. We were supposed to take our family to a hotel to celebrate Christmas with our extended family. We made the huge, ginormous mistake of telling Cooper three days before. We needed him to try a swimsuit on to make sure it would fit. We messed up. Not him. He couldn’t handle the anticipation.…
Read MoreHeaven in the Midst of Hell
My youngest son was recently admitted into one of the best facilities in the county; Kennedy Krieger Institute Neurobehavioral Unit in Baltimore Maryland, where he will be for the next four to eight months minimum. This comes after about a year of severe aggression towards our family, (mainly me), property destruction, elopement, disruptive behaviors and unbelievable self injurious behavior (at times over 400 times a day). We sought several resources in Iowa, where we live, two inpatients facilities, both which were unable to provide him the help he needed. We…
Read MoreToday His Anxiety Is…
My son has anxiety. Real, serious, debilitating anxiety. Before Cooper, I didn’t know that an eight year old could have anxiety. I didn’t think they had anything to worry about. I mean…he’s fed. He’s happy, loved, clean, cared for, safe. He lacks or needs for nothing. And yet, on days like today, he can’t function. He can’t hold it together. He can’t turn the page. He can’t build a bridge. He can’t move on. He can’t think about anything else. It’s like a video in his brain is paused. A…
Read MoreWould I Recommend Medical Cannabis for Autism?
I promised I would give updates on our journey with medical cannabis for our severely autistic son. Cooper has been using it for almost four months now. And daily, I receive the same three questions from family and followers: 1.) Is the medical cannabis working? 2.) Would I recommend it to other children? 3.) Have I seen any negative side effects? My answers are pretty long winded and I cover them in the video below. But to summarize, yes, medical cannabis is ‘working’ for my son. I have seen huge…
Read MoreIt’s Not Always Easy
Hear me out on this one.. I share our story because so often I receive messages from fellow special needs parents that their hearts are broken. All the time it’s questions, remarks on the ‘how’ and ‘why’ do we make parenting a child with significant needs look easy. I always step back and take a breath. It’s not easy. We literally spend all of our time working to give our son Jake the best quality of life for HIM. And to be honest, that does not always equal OUR best…
Read More