Posts Tagged ‘severe autism’
What if the Danger to Yourself is You?
With your brother Sawyer, I can fix everything with a Band-Aid and a hug. He falls off of his scooter? A Band-Aid, a kiss and a hug will do the trick. It’s all textbook. He’s six years old going on 12. His world is bike riding, baseball, friends and BeyBlades. His world doesn’t make sense to you. But with you Cooper, the problems are so different. You’ve never fallen off a bike. You’ve never had a friend steal your toy. You’ve never skinned your knees. Not only do you refuse…
Read MoreI Need to Live Forever
Yesterday, while driving in the car, my husband and I had the conversation I have been dreading for years. The conversation that makes my heart hurt and brings tears to my eyes instantly. The conversation about the future. The one that needs to be discussed but breaks my heart to even think about. When I first became a mother to a little boy, I pictured ball games and cleaning muddy feet before they walked into my house. I pictured a future so different than the one we were discussing. Our…
Read MoreAge is Just a Number in Our World
You were sitting on the floor. Near me. You like to be close. But not too close. Just close enough to see me. And know I’m near. I thought before the baby was born that you might struggle with sharing me. I was wrong thankfully. You seem to have no problem with me caring for the baby. As long as I’m close. As long as I’m home. On this beautiful, lazy evening, while you sat sprawled out next to me watching Daniel Tiger, I was playing with your baby brother.…
Read MoreWe Aren’t Excluded but we Aren’t Exactly Included Either
I was talking with a friend the other day. I was telling her how summers can be so hard on our family. In a way, part of me actually dreads them. Our friends, family and neighbors are so busy. We hear about it. We see it on Facebook. Pictures. Stories. They are traveling to Disney. Going to summer festivals. Grabbing candy at parades. Attending baseball games. Going for bike rides. Visiting the latest waterpark. On Facebook it seems so effortless. And while I know that everyone has struggles, I’m not…
Read MoreI Love Holding Your Hand Mama
‘Sawyer, hold onto your brother on the dock.’ I was climbing out of the boat, holding a baby, a pop and two bags. Sawyer and Cooper were out long before me and were headed towards our truck. Which, in most cases wouldn’t be a big deal. But in our world, it is. We have to be very, very careful. Cooper, our son with autism, is a runner. He bolts, he drops, he flops, he runs, and he sits. And rarely does he walk in a straight line. He also typically…
Read MoreSometimes I Just Wish…
This morning I was driving my six year old to vacation bible camp. It is his third day. As we were driving he was telling me everything they’ve done so far. ‘We sing songs mama. My favorite one is called Bubbles.’ ‘We play games. And eat lunch. Yesterday, I gave part of my lunch to a boy that forgot his and Ms. Amy gave me Funyons. It was AMAZING.’ I peeked in the rearview mirror at him. He was wearing a hat that made him look 16 years old. He…
Read MoreTo the Parents who are Nothing Special
To the delightfully ordinary parents. I see you. To the parents who are nothing special. The ones who are just your typical moms and dads. Not superheroes. Not saints. I see you. To the parents who don’t know why they were chosen to have babies with special needs. The ones who agonize over the whys more times than they can count. I see you. To the ones who don’t understand why people say God gives special kids to special people. Because while you know your kid is amazing…sometimes you feel…
Read MoreAm I the Big Brother Mama?
I asked you to watch your brother for a second while I made lunches. Which you gladly agreed too. The first thing you ask for when you come downstairs in the morning or in from outside is your baby brother. I heard you talking to him, like you always do. So sweet. You were telling him all about BeyBlades. And how cool there are. You were hugging him on the couch. Holding him so he wouldn’t fall. Every few seconds you would squish the whoopie cushion. Harbor would laugh hysterically.…
Read MoreAm I Doing the Right Things?
You know those moments as a parent where you question if you are doing the right things? I have them with all three of my kids. But with my son Cooper it’s times a hundred. The stakes are higher. The decisions are monumental. I want to help him as much as I possibly can. And in a way I often feel like it’s a race against time. But often, the things that will help him, the therapies especially, cause him so much stress. He also works so hard every single…
Read MoreSeeing the Delays in Writing
Jamie and I just came from Cooper’s Treatment Plan meeting. We do these quarterly. It feels like monthly sometimes. Today, we discussed his standard diagnostic assessments with cognitive testing. Man that is a mouthful. If you live in our world you know about the Vineland, the Behavior Assessment System for Children, the SDQ, The CASII, the Gilliam Autism Rating Scale and the Weshsler Nonverbal Scale of Ability. All of these are black and white standardized tests that are used to tell you that your child is autistic. In our case,…
Read More