Posts Tagged ‘severe autism’
Enter Your Child’s World
One of the things I hear the most often from parents of newly diagnosed children is…I can’t figure out how to get my child to play with me. Or, I can’t find an activity for us to do together. This is coming from moms and dads who are trying so hard. They are desperate to get inside. But they don’t know how. Not yet anyways. Boy does that resonate with me. I was that mom years ago. My son wouldn’t play with me. In fact, he didn’t play at all.…
Read MoreFriend, Please Allow Me to Feel and Worry
Friend, parent, partner, even a stranger on Facebook… I have a request for you. It’s going to sound really simple to you. Maybe even silly. But here goes. Please allow me to feel everything when it comes to my child’s diagnosis. Let me feel all the feelings and worry about all the worries, no matter how irrational or ridiculous they sound to you. Please, pretty please, don’t try to silence me. Or rush me along in the process. Please don’t make me feel guilty for feeling or acting a certain…
Read MoreMy Hopes Are Not Wrong
I’ve been thinking a lot about hope lately. And the right amount to have. Which is a funny thing to think about really. Because, how can one have the wrong amount of hope? My son has autism. And somehow, no matter where I am on the ‘hope for his future’ spectrum, I seem to have the wrong amount for some people. If I hope for words, I am told I should really be hoping for communication. If I hope for independent living, I am told that I’m not accepting reality.…
Read MoreMy Son, You Are Kind
‘Thanks for coming to my conferences mama.’ Of course buddy. ‘Did you like my owl? They are nocturnal. There is a girl I like. I’m going to ask her on a date on the last day of school. Then if she says no I won’t have to see her for the whole summer.’ That’s seriously genius. But you are too young to date. ‘I’m not doing for very good in reading. I’m trying. I need to stretch the words more. But it’s hard for me.’ You are doing just fine…
Read MoreHow Does Having a Child with Special Needs Make you Feel?
Then she said as I was walking away, ‘but how does having a child with special needs make you feel? Deep down?’ I stopped in my tracks. I whipped my head around, almost as if I’d been slapped. ‘Why don’t you come back and share with the group Kate. What are you feeling?’ I just stared at her. This lady. Some nerve. Trying to get to the center of my feelings. Trying to dredge them up. All so we can talk about them. And I can heal. That’s the goal…
Read MoreA Baby After Autism
As I was looking at our recent family photos, I started thinking about all the joy this baby has brought to our family. And how I can’t really remember a time before him. In a way, he healed us. He healed the wounds that weren’t necessarily visible on the surface. He’s the brother Sawyer dreamed of. Sawyer spends so much time kissing him. Holding him. And talking to him. He’s told me, ‘I’m not lonely anymore mama.’ And then there is Cooper. The one I was the most nervous about.…
Read MoreTwo Brothers, Both Perfect
From day one, my boys have been entirely different. One loves playing, sports, friends, toys, eating, and sleeping. The other one…not so much. One loves parades, fireworks, Easter egg hunts and carving pumpkins. So much so that he can hardly stand waiting. Pumpkin carving is supposed to be happening tonight, when the whole family is here. But he can’t stand it. He’s just so excited. It’s the first thing he asked for this morning when he woke up and his immediate request when he got off the bus. The other one…
Read MoreGive Your Child A Voice
This morning I had a conversation with my nonverbal son. A real one without words. To all of the mamas and dads out there with children who do not speak verbally, hang on. Never give up hope. Keep working towards functional communication. I sat on the couch drinking my coffee. He sat next to me immersed in his trains. I asked him if something happened at school yesterday. He grunted ‘yea.’ I asked him if there was a little boy who frustrates him. He grunted ‘yea.’ Now this isn’t the…
Read MoreMy Son was Assaulted and he Couldn’t Tell Me
A while back my son was kicked by a person that was supposed to be caring for him. It happened one day and I didn’t find out until the next. He came home from school like any other day. He was happy. He was smiling. He asked for a cookie and his Kindle. We played. Had dinner. Took a walk and then a bath. And he went to bed. I had no idea he had been kicked multiple times at school that day. The next morning I received a phone…
Read MoreAn Amazing Brother
Things I said to my son Sawyer on our family walk: 1. Wait up. Hurry up. Wait for me. Stay close. Stay on the path. That is not a trail. 2. Please stay out of the puddles. Seriously dude, must you jump in every single puddle. 3. Sawyer, put your shoes on. You are going to hurt your feet. 4. No, I didn’t bring a band-aid for your foot. I told you you’d get hurt walking barefoot. 5. I love it so much. (He gave me 3 super cool rocks…
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