Posts Tagged ‘nonverbal autism’
Tomorrow We Will Start Again
It was hard for you this morning. I have no idea why. You woke crying too early, the moon still visible. Groans and nudges before one of us got up and shuffled to your room. These are the moments we wait on your response. There are mornings, early mornings, when your smile is contagious, your eyes bright and your antics ridiculous. Those are the mornings I can smile back, fix myself a cup of coffee and take on the day like the superhero you’ve made me out to be. And…
Read MoreOur Love Has Not, And Never Will, Need Words
Raising a non-verbal child taught me to communicate with more than mere words and to listen with more than mere ears. I don’t need words to catch the joy dancing behind Mason’s eyes when he sees me enter a room. I don’t need his voice to tell me he loves me when I have the strength of his embrace that follows after he wraps his arms around my neck. No amount of speech can match the magnitude that comes with his bedtime kisses, or late night cuddles. Every flick of…
Read MoreBut Why Doesn’t He Talk Mama?
Our family has been spending a lot our time lately with families who have kiddos like our Cooper. Some came into our lives through Cooper’s therapy center. Some came through mom support groups on Facebook. Some from the many trips to Children’s Hospital over the years. Family friendships have developed and it’s been life changing for us. Many of the kids have autism, although no two fall in the same place on the spectrum. That’s the cool part. They are all uniquely different. Others have different disabilities. Some physical, some…
Read MoreMaybe Someday
‘Dear 1st and 3rd grade families, We will have our winter programs on Friday, December 13th. The first grade will perform at 9 am and the third grade will perform at 10 am.’ When I read that email I felt the familiar twinge in my stomach. Ugh. What are the odds that those two grades perform on the same day? Why? I do everything I can to avoid third grade boys. See, I have a first and a would-be third grader. Except my third grader doesn’t attend school with his…
Read MoreHappiness is what Matters
As we age, our interests change. They evolve. They grow with us. But what if they don’t? What if they stay the same year after year? In the real world, they call it age appropriate. It means teenagers shouldn’t be watching Barney or adults shouldn’t be believing in Santa. Someone once told me to turn off the cartoons and put on the National Geographic channel. I still laugh about that. They thought parents like me should be forcing interests. My son is 9. He’s amazing. And he loves Peppa, Barney,…
Read MoreOur Kids Matter
My son has never won an award. He has never sung in a choir concert or scored the winning goal. In fact, he doesn’t even know what any of those things are. You won’t find any of his accomplishments in a yearbook. Or on Facebook either. And that makes me sad for him. Because he matters. He matters a lot. I’ll admit to you that for a lot of years I didn’t celebrate. Yup, that’s the truth. We had more hard than good. We mostly just survived. And I focused…
Read MoreThe Hardest Question Will Always Be Why
The hardest question you will ever ask is why. You will fixate on it. You will manically go over it all in your head. Everything you did or didn’t do during the months that turned into the years that got you to this point. You will justify and find reasoning that soothes your heart. But you will always come back to one simple question. Why? You can be firmly planted, comfortably and happily, in acceptance and still find yourself haunted by the why. Why my child? Why my family? Why?…
Read MoreLook for the Magic
So often the most impactful parts of life don’t make sense. I’ve learned that over and over again. Sometimes gracefully. Sometimes not. But see I have this teacher. This little human. He’s taught me more than I can even put into words. He likes colors and squares and rectangles and lines. He likes trains and Peppa and pictures of his brothers and penguins and letters. And the number 35. It used to be 33. And The Price is Right. And he doesn’t care what anyone thinks about it. Because those…
Read MoreGetting Help as a Special Needs Parent
I’ve been having some minor medical stuff going on. Nothing huge but still annoying. I finally broke down and went to the doctor. Which never happens. Simply put, I don’t have time. I explained my symptoms. A cold that never ends. A cough that keeps me up. Extreme fatigue. Exhaustion. Anxiety. Trouble sleeping. She asked if I was under stress. I laughed. Manically actually. I told her about my life. My job. About my 3 boys. Their ages. Their schedules and needs. I told her about my Cooper. About autism.…
Read MoreHe’s Safe Mama
I was rushing to get out of the house. Helping Cooper with his shoes and wrestling the baby into his jacket. Filling up a bottle and grabbing snacks and drinks. Making sure the diaper bag was stocked and that I looked halfway presentable. You know, doing all of the things. Cooper was nonverbally letting me know that he was going to bring all hundred of his treasures. Sawyer was asking me for a bag because he wanted to bring his rollerblades to a place that didn’t allow rollerblades. The baby…
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