Posts Tagged ‘nonverbal autism’
Our Kids are Life Long Learners
If I could go back in time, 6 years ago, and tell myself one thing and one thing only…it would be… Let me paint the picture for you first. I was just given a lifelong diagnosis for my child but no direction on how to help him. I was a scared mama. I was 28. This was my first baby. We lived in rural Minnesota and there was no help. No other kids like our son. I wasn’t hearing positive things either. Instead I was told things like, he will…
Read MoreMaybe It’s About Being Real
I’m the kind of person who is always searching for some big cosmic reason for things. I search for answers. Signs. I think way too much. I wonder why and how. I wonder how it all ends. As I get older, I’m learning that maybe it isn’t so much about understanding why. Maybe it’s about becoming the best version of yourself so you can become the best parent, advocate, protector, and teacher for your child. Maybe it’s about showing the world how amazing life can be when it turns out…
Read MoreThe Things I Took for Granted
There is this saying, and I’m sure most of you in the autism world have heard of it. Something to the effect that “special needs parents have a child in the newborn phase for many, many years longer than most.” I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately. How it’s pretty crushing, but it also couldn’t be more true. My son Noah still cries and screams to communicate most of the time. The only consistent words I would say he has are — “Pete” when he sees him on Mickey…
Read MoreThe Secrecy of Aggressive Behaviors
When your child hurts you… It’s happening in homes all over the country. Including ours. What would you do if a random stranger came up on the street and slapped you? Well, depending on how my mood was and how many hours of sleep I got the night before, I assume I’d either call the police or puck them right back. Both are natural reactions. But what do you do when it’s your own kid hurting you? When the frustration of not being understood gets to be too much for…
Read MoreThe Mystery of Time
My son, when you were little, I would picture your future. Our future really. The beginning was hard. Mama can say that. You didn’t like to sleep. Or eat. Or sit still. Or play. You wouldn’t do any of the things that mama needed you to do either. Stack three blocks? No way Jose. Sit in a circle full of friends and listen to a story? Not gonna happen mama. Instead, you and I would do our own thing. It felt like we were in our own world. Just you…
Read MoreLearning to Lean Into the Fear
Sometimes I will be sitting in my living room, watching my son, and all of a sudden feel fear. It will come out of nowhere almost consuming my thoughts. Paralyzing me. I’ll see a flash of the future. A glimpse twenty years from now. It’s not fear of the diagnosis. Or the label. Not anymore. It’s not fear of being different or standing out. Nope, we embrace that here. And it’s not fear of paving our own path. Because there is beauty in achieving milestones and goals at a different…
Read MoreAdvocating for your Child’s Health
A wonderful medical professional once told me something that changed my way of thinking forever. She wasn’t some big huge doctor. I didn’t wait months for my son to get an appointment with her. And yet, she changed his life. My nonverbal son was sick. Really sick. But because he didn’t show the typical signs, I didn’t know. No fever. No ‘my head hurts.’ No pointing. No saying ‘ow.’ Instead I was seeing a lot of self injuring. He wasn’t sleeping. So much screaming. More gaining control through behaviors. And…
Read MoreEvery Single Day is his Best Day
Most mornings feels the same to me as the mom. Most days the same too. Kids. Work. Cooking. Cleaning. Up too early. Wondering if my son will ever learn to sleep in and if the other one will ever sleep through the night. I mentally taking note of everything that needs to happen to get the day started while praying that my husband programmed the coffee pot to brew so it’s ready when I get downstairs. Cooper is on the couch surrounded by photos of his family, owls, penguins and…
Read MoreWhen a Nonverbal Child is Sick
Have you ever wished that your child would complain? We have. We do. This sweet boy is so sick. Sicker than we originally thought. But we didn’t know. Because everyone else in our family is sick too. And everyone else has the ability to complain. ‘Mom I don’t feel good.’ ‘My head hurts.’ ‘I feel hot.’ The remedies are pretty standard. Cough drops and popsicles for sore throats. A seat by the fireplace to combat the chills. Soup and ginger ale for a sore tummy. A bed on the couch…
Read MoreThe Goal is Independence
The other day I was talking about the future with another mama. We were new acquaintances, brought together by one common thread. Autism. Our sons were the same age. 9. Both similar. Ridiculously handsome, silly, very few words but still quite opinionated, and both very much in love with their mamas. We were talking about the beginning. Making jokes about the hard parts. Tearing up over the almost unbelievably hard parts. Then the middle part that we are in right now. The part where the pieces finally began to fall…
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