Posts Tagged ‘mom’
Ain’t Nobody Got Time for Drama when You’re an Autism Mama
When I received a private message today from a sweet autism mama, my heart sank. She was leaving her support group because of drama between her and some moms in the group who had been her best friends. I knew this decision didn’t come lightly. I knew her eyes were bloodshot from nights wasted worrying about the right thing to do, wondering how this situation got so far out of control, and feeling betrayed by the very people who were her lifelines for so many years in early autism. Her…
Read MoreI’m the Mom without a Bestfriend
I’m the mom without a bestfriend. I’m the mom without a tribe. I’m the mom without a village. I’m the mom who doesn’t get invited to birthdays, baby showers, weddings, mom’s night out. I’m the mom that doesn’t have a person. I’m the mom who spends weeks at a time never seeing another human being besides her kids and husband. I’m the mom that doesn’t get included. I’m the mom that doesn’t have someone to make sure I’m still hanging on. I’m the mom on the outside looking in. I’m…
Read MoreI Never Knew Being a Mother Would be so Hard for Me
I always wanted to be a mom. Heck, I think I played babies and house until I was a tween. After that it was babysitting. And then working with kids in college. Thankfully, I was blessed with three beautiful boys. They are loud, wild, healthy and each perfectly exhausting in their own way. I am the lucky one. I know that. But three kids is a lot. Working, running a house, a baby, breastfeeding, cooking, cleaning, and so on. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love being a mom.…
Read MoreAn Autism Mom’s Perspective on 20 Years
Twenty years…How can it be two decades since you came into this world with a hail storm in June? No kidding. On June 4, 1999 my sweet Jake was making his debut into this world unremarkable, when somewhere around 4:15pm, the sky got dark, and as everyone in the room noticed began to peer out the window, a hail storm came, with thunder and lightening… Then, the sun came out, and minutes later you were born…my sweet, Jake Timothy Helms was born, 4:40pm 9 lbs 3 oz.. On that very…
Read MoreI am One Lucky Mama
A few days ago I had an ITP meeting for Cooper at his ABA Center. We talked about behaviors, evaluations, speech, and goals. We talked about how great Cooper is doing. His overall behaviors are down but the duration is up. We talked about holds, and kicking, how his favorite thing to work for his colored paper, and how his SDQ and CASII scores have improved. We chatted about emotional problems, hyperactivity, peer problems and so on. These meetings are required for him to maintain services. They are important. They…
Read MoreLife is about Perspective
Life is all about perspective. And how you look at it. Having a son with severe, nonverbal autism has changed everything for me. I’m learning as I go. I’m getting stronger while giving myself grace to accept and grow. Sawyer and I just got home from the store. He spent his birthday money on a Lego set. He was so excited to go, choose (that’s half the fun!), and pay. He’s been anticipating our trip for days. He even did a few chores around the house today to earn extra…
Read MoreI was the Gloom and Doom Mom
Yesterday, I celebrated my eighth Mother’s Day. I’m not sure how that is possible but I did the math and it is indeed right. I have three boys. Each delightfully amazing in their own way. Cooper is 8. He is the happiest boy you will ever meet. He has taught me more about life than anyone or anything else. He is my shadow. I am his person and he is mine. I have Sawyer who is 6. He is incredible and pushes me to my limits daily. He is smart,…
Read MoreTo the Special Needs Mom on Mother’s Day
I am thinking about you today. I want you to know that everything you do matters. When you crawl into bed at night, aching from your temples to your toes, know that you have done enough. There may have been no progress made with toileting, feeding therapy or communication today and that is okay. Your child is safe and so loved. The weight of hectic schedules, parent trainings, OT, PT and visits with every other MD in-between can feel suffocating. The research, the meltdowns, the battles over chicken nugget brands…
Read MoreHow I Pour From an Empty Cup
You can’t pour from an empty cup. I’ve seen this plastered all over social media. And they are such wise words. Figuratively and literally, it makes so much sense. And I believe them wholeheartedly. But there’s a problem with my cup. There’s a hole at the bottom of it. And no matter how much I pour in, I always seem to fall short and empty. And that hole is autism. I am a very blessed woman. I have a wonderful 5 year old son who is the highlight of my…
Read MoreSing me a Lullaby Mama
Our almost 6 year old nonverbal wonder has been having a tough time recently. In short ongoing seizures. With numerous visits to doctors and hospitals anxiety runs high in our household. For any family a visit to see any medical professional is daunting but for families of special needs children the experience takes on a whole new set of challenges; busy waiting rooms, loud noises, bright lights, clinical hard surroundings and long queues! These environments take a toil on everyone. Added to this is a child with autism’s unique expressive…
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