Sing me a Lullaby Mama

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Our almost 6 year old nonverbal wonder has been having a tough time recently. In short ongoing seizures.

With numerous visits to doctors and hospitals anxiety runs high in our household. For any family a visit to see any medical professional is daunting but for families of special needs children the experience takes on a whole new set of challenges; busy waiting rooms, loud noises, bright lights, clinical hard surroundings and long queues!

These environments take a toil on everyone.

Added to this is a child with autism’s unique expressive traits.

Hand flapping, tapping tables, ironically saying one of the few words we didn’t know he could say “ pain” over and over again.

We must never underestimate the deep perspective minds of our nonverbal wonders.

Our sensory seeking, larger than life, joy is fully aware of what is to come. Needles, Blood tests, ECG’s, MRI’s etc. Although he may not know their medical term he knows he will be fearful of what’s to come.

During these visits one thing that remains the same is the simple sweet lullaby. I know you stop and stare as my 29 kg (big boy) cradles in my arms and I sing. Oh do I sing!!

Albeit the same repertoire I have sang to all my children for over 15 years now never has the melody, the music, the desire to sooth my child been so strong.

Singing lullabies not only calms my son but calms this Mamma too as we wait and wait and wait for answers.

I will continue to sing my lullabies no matter who is listening or judging or amused.

Sing me a lullaby Mamma is the one time I get to hold my son, to cradle his fears, to sooth our shared worries and protect my heart!

I’ve always known the power of music heals but recent encounters have reinforced my belief in this phenomena.

So, sing to your wonders Mamma or whatever that soothing action is. Even if the world stops and stares only you know that it does matter.

You are helping your child to self regulate, to connect, to be in daunting experiences and that is all that counts.

So, when that lady watches you in the waiting room and tells her child that your boy is a “retard,” sing your most beautiful melody.

Pity her ignorance, her unnecessary comment, because you know your child is much, much, more than labels and that you will walk alongside his journey for as long as you can singing through the happy, the sad and the fearful moments together.

Sing, sing for all its worth!! (and you may even find a “Minion” comes to say Hi in the hospital too – my daughter Soleil found a special guest to pop by Samson’s bedside).

Written by, Emer O Hara

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Kate Swenson

Kate Swenson lives in Minnesota with her husband Jamie, and four children, Cooper, Sawyer, Harbor and Wynnie. Kate launched Finding Cooper's Voice from her couch while her now 11-year-old son Cooper was being diagnosed with autism. Back then it was a place to write. Today it is a living, thriving community of people who want to not only advocate for autism, but also make the world a better place for individuals with disabilities and their families. Her first book, Forever Boy, will be released, April 5, 2022.

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