Posts Tagged ‘family’
Are you Done?
I had three babies in three years. Shortly after I had my last baby people began to ask, “Are you done?” Sometimes kidding and sometimes serious, but it always felt like a punch in the gut. My dream was four or five children, but after Jackson’s diagnosis and three babies, four or five was just not in the cards for us. I’m finally accepting that we are done, and I’m ok with that. Now when I think about my family I think of our Jackson boy. Our four year old…
Read MoreIt Will Be Okay
Today I watched my almost three year old run into the street in front of a car. It wasn’t how I planned. It wasn’t what I THOUGHT was going to happen. But it happened. I will literally never forget that moment, for as long as I live. Deep into a meltdown, he ran. I’m grateful to the driver who was (luckily) paying attention and spared my sons life. Backtrack- Dylan was diagnosed at 2 years and 3 months, which was 10 months ago. He’ll be 3 in February. We knew…
Read MoreWhat a Stranger Sees
I saw you walking your dogs. You had arrived at the deserted park the same time we did. Me, Cooper, Sawyer, the baby and Jamie. A family of five. We park, the doors spring open, and immediately Cooper’s squeals of joy fill the quiet, cold air. I smiled at you. You and your two dogs. You are young. Out for a hike. I imagine you don’t have kids yet. You are a dog mom. That used to be me. Now I have three boys. We are so loud. It’s safe…
Read MoreI’m not Sorry
Many times I have heard and read about how parents of children on the autism spectrum absolutely hate it when someone who has just learned his/her child has autism says, “I´m sorry”. I don´t feel the same way. I´m actually grateful when someone has a polite or sympathetic comment to make when they learn my 5 year old daughter has autism. Some people don´t know what to say and instead of being quiet they say things like, “I saw Rain man”, “she can talk, she´s not autistic”, “she looks so…
Read MoreSeeing their Future
These two. Brothers. Cooper was barely two when Sawyer was born. I had so many ideas of what their relationship would be like. So close in age. I thought they’d be best friends. I thought they’d play nonstop. Like so many parts of life…what I imagined didn’t happen. Their relationship has always been unique. Lots of ups and downs. Lots of confusion for Sawyer. Cooper is mostly oblivious to him. They rarely interact. They seem to lead separate lives but do acknowledge that the other one seems to live here…
Read MoreDear Friends and Family, It’s Been a While
Dear Friends & Family, A few months ago, I felt a small cyst in my right breast and still haven’t been able to see a doctor. This brought on a harsh reality for me as a mother of a child with special needs: I don’t have time to be sick, to go to my own appointments, or to die. I never thought about that until today. I don’t have time to get depressed or get my own therapy. I’m so busy holding it together for my daughter that it has…
Read MoreIt Took a Baby…
For the last three years, Sawyer and I watch a movie on Friday nights. We eat popcorn with way too much ranch seasoning, snuggle up with blankets, argue over what movie to watch, and talk about his day, farts, Nerf guns and hockey. It’s my favorite part of the week. And for the last three years, Cooper has ALWAYS been encouraged to join us. He rarely ever does though. He likes to wander around, move from room to room, watch his shows, line up his treasures and stim. That is…
Read MoreOur Holiday Break in Photos
Taking photos of my beautiful boys and crazy, wild life is one of my favorite things to do. Part of me wishes I would have became a photographer. Photos show our life in a way that my written words never could. When Cooper was 3, I was asked on a questionnaire if he had any behaviors. Does he stim or flap? Does he line objects up? Does he hum? At that time, he didn’t do any of those things besides flap his arms. I remember thinking, we must be really…
Read MoreLooking Back, Looking Forward (VIDEO)
Hey everyone! Happy New Year! As promised, here is a video with Jamie, my partner in crime, and an appearance by Cooper. This video would have been up earlier but Sawyer needed an apple cut a certain way, the baby needed to eat and Cooper needed to dance. Essentially, life happened. In this video we discuss why we share our lives, how it impacts us and the kiddos, our 2018 accomplishments and goals for Cooper in 2019. I want to thank every single one of our supporters for being with…
Read MoreWhat it Stole From Us
I stand in the shower and let the scalding hot water burn my skin. The first quiet moments of day. I take a deep breath. And let it out slowly. I give myself the grace to feel and think about what it stole from us. The grace every parent should give themselves every now and then. Of course we shouldn’t dwell there. But it’s okay to visit now and then when it is warranted. Especially on days like Christmas. And birthdays. And other milestones. As the water burns my back,…
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