Posts Tagged ‘daughter’
Mama’s Here: Finding Connection in the Quiet Moments
My daughter is 15 years old; she is autistic and has sensory processing disorder and anxiety. She is only semi-verbal, and for us, that means she has words to make requests, she can echo words and phrases, and she can answer yes or no questions with about 80 percent accuracy. However, she does not have conversational language skills. I cannot ask her how she feels and get an answer back. Every once in a while, in the wee hours of the night, I am awoken by the sound of my…
Read MoreWhen Autism Changes Everything, But Friendship Remains
Life has a way of shifting our priorities, reshaping who we are in ways we never expected. Parenthood does that, and for me, autism amplified it. Ten fold. The woman I was years ago would barely recognize the person I’ve become today. But every now and then, something, or rather, someone, reminds me of the life I once led and the connections that have remained constant through it all. I had one of those reminders on Friday night when I did something I never do. I went out. It was…
Read More“She Doesn’t Look Autistic”
What does autism look like? It looks like mismatched slippers every day. It looks like refusal to comply. It looks like obsession over socks being just right. It looks like dance parties at home but refusing to dance at dance class. It looks like holding her bladder until she is in a ‘safe space’ where she can finally find relief. It looks like fighting sleep even though she is past the depths of tiredness. It looks like food being cut into bite-sized pieces and discarding certain pieces because they don’t…
Read MoreThe Future and Autism: A Million Little Big Things
I was helping my autistic daughter navigate some personal medical issues that she had earlier today. I helped her through the hard parts and just went about my day. As I sit here this evening, thinking about our day, this wave of sadness and fear hits me extremely hard. When I am no longer here? Who will make sure these situations are dealt with in a way that respects and allows her dignity? I have dedicated the last fifteen years of my life to caring for this beautiful girl. I…
Read MoreDismissed at School, Thriving at Home: My Autistic Child’s Journey
My daughter who has autism, Olivia, was sent home from school on May 22nd, just one hour into her school day. It was the day before the last day of school. She was having behaviors they said they couldn’t get under control. They said they tried all things sensory, but nothing worked. I went to pick her up, and she was walking slowly and calmly with her teacher, so she must’ve recovered fairly quickly from those uncontrollable behaviors in the 20 minutes it took me to change my clothes and…
Read MoreAutism and Independence: In Her Own Time
In her own time. Those four words are more important than I can express. I am not sure I can put into words the incredible moment my autistic daughter had yesterday, but I am going to try. Yesterday, Kya asked to “go in the car to the dollar store for Elmer’s glue.” So we headed to the store. While there, she looked at clay but passed on it. We gathered what she wanted and headed to the till. Once there, she said clay, so I decided to let her go…
Read MoreUnseen Struggles: A Mother’s Tale of Parenting an Autistic Child
There have been a lot of ups and downs during this autism life. The highs are so high and the lows are so low. This causes a lot of emotional turmoil within. There have been some really hard times throughout my autistic daughter, Alyssa’s life. The grief period after diagnosis is devastating. The realization that this is the rest of her life. Seeing all the other kids develop and realizing how behind she is, and where she should be, and although that’s not her path, it doesn’t make it any…
Read MoreQuestions of Love: Raising an Autistic Daughter
Does she know she has been fighting her entire life? She fought to get nourishment and to breathe as a tiny baby. Fifteen years later she continues to fight. Fight for comfort, fight for words, and fight for peace within her own body and mind. Does she know she was born into a world that wasn’t built for her? Does she know I will move heaven and earth to find the right tools to give her so she can walk through this world as safely and peacefully as she can?…
Read MoreThe Sun on Her Face and the Wind on Her Back
My daughter is 15 years old. She is autistic, has sensory processing disorder, and anxiety. She spends much of her day trying to calm both her mind and her body. There are very few things that are able to regulate both of those things simultaneously. A long walk in nature on a sunny, breezy day is just what she needs to achieve inner peace, even if only for a short time. With the sun on her face and the wind on her back, she walks down the street while humming…
Read MoreThe Colors of Hope: A Journey Through Autism and Discovery
What colours do you see? I cannot put into words what those five words meant to me, but I’m going to try. Hope Fierce Determination Unstoppable My daughter Kya is 13 and on the autism spectrum. She was diagnosed at two and a half. She was nonverbal. When my daughter was diagnosed, not knowing if I would ever hear her speak was gut, wrenching, and unless you’ve ever had a child like mine, you could never truly understand the sadness. In fact, it was her lack of language that let…
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