Posts Tagged ‘daughter’
Navigating ‘Time For’ as a Autism Parent
My youngest daughter is 16 years old and a sophomore in high school. She is autistic and is also diagnosed with sensory processing disorder and anxiety. I keep getting all the exciting emails from my daughter’s high school that it’s “time for”: Time for your student to pick classes for next year. Time for spring sports tryouts, come be a part of the team. Time for prom season, tickets go on sale soon… Did you get your tux or dress? Time for your student to get a summer job. Parks…
Read MoreSmall Wins, Big Impact: How My Autistic Child Conquered a Grocery Trip
Prior to having a child on the autism spectrum, I never noticed how loud the outside world was. The sound of a cart in the grocery store, the cash register dinging, or the music playing as you walk down the aisles. It all blended into the background. The truth is, I never even noticed the music before my daughter. I never noticed how bright the lights were. I never noticed how loud the automatic doors were. For many years, we couldn’t go to unfamiliar places or through unfamiliar doors. She…
Read MoreHow to Advocate for Your Child: A Parent’s Letter to the IEP Team
It is time to prepare for my daughter Olivia’s annual IEP meeting. I need to go over all of her goal updates and the data taken so we can move forward in the best way for her individual needs. Here is a letter I wrote that conveys all the things about Olivia to her team. To the education staff working with my child, Olivia is a very complex person. She was diagnosed with autism and sensory processing disorder. She also has anxiety and will become obsessive-compulsive in certain situations. I…
Read MoreThe Kaleidoscope of Autism: A Thank You Letter to My Kids
A Thank You Letter to My Kids, the “Typical” Siblings I know having a sibling with special needs has not been easy on any of you. Autism is like a kaleidoscope. While it certainly brings a lot of color to our life, each piece is different from the rest. Every twist gives a different view, and the effect is different for everyone. Autism has not only altered your sister’s life but the lives of all of us who love her and walk beside her. It is overlooked how much the…
Read MoreSanta’s Magic in Our Autism Journey
Every year at Christmastime, my older two children either went to see Santa, or we talked all about Santa and wrote lists. I could see the excitement building inside them and the anticipation on their faces on Christmas Eve as they got ready for bed. They would wake up on Christmas morning and run into the living room, yelling out, “Santa came!” and dive into their gifts. Olivia, on the other hand, was nonspeaking, and although I still tried to tell her about Santa and presents, she seemed to have…
Read MoreFinding Inclusion: The Power of a Birthday Invite
A birthday party invitation seems like such a normal right of passage as a kid. I remember getting many growing up.I also remember handing out birthday invitations to all of my friends. Birthday invitations were always a big part of my childhood. I grew up and had three children of my own. I had my oldest daughter when I was 25 years old, and I began throwing parties for her at age one. As she grew up, she was invited to many parties over the years. My son was born…
Read MoreMama’s Here: Finding Connection in the Quiet Moments
My daughter is 15 years old; she is autistic and has sensory processing disorder and anxiety. She is only semi-verbal, and for us, that means she has words to make requests, she can echo words and phrases, and she can answer yes or no questions with about 80 percent accuracy. However, she does not have conversational language skills. I cannot ask her how she feels and get an answer back. Every once in a while, in the wee hours of the night, I am awoken by the sound of my…
Read MoreWhen Autism Changes Everything, But Friendship Remains
Life has a way of shifting our priorities, reshaping who we are in ways we never expected. Parenthood does that, and for me, autism amplified it. Ten fold. The woman I was years ago would barely recognize the person I’ve become today. But every now and then, something, or rather, someone, reminds me of the life I once led and the connections that have remained constant through it all. I had one of those reminders on Friday night when I did something I never do. I went out. It was…
Read More“She Doesn’t Look Autistic”
What does autism look like? It looks like mismatched slippers every day. It looks like refusal to comply. It looks like obsession over socks being just right. It looks like dance parties at home but refusing to dance at dance class. It looks like holding her bladder until she is in a ‘safe space’ where she can finally find relief. It looks like fighting sleep even though she is past the depths of tiredness. It looks like food being cut into bite-sized pieces and discarding certain pieces because they don’t…
Read MoreThe Future and Autism: A Million Little Big Things
I was helping my autistic daughter navigate some personal medical issues that she had earlier today. I helped her through the hard parts and just went about my day. As I sit here this evening, thinking about our day, this wave of sadness and fear hits me extremely hard. When I am no longer here? Who will make sure these situations are dealt with in a way that respects and allows her dignity? I have dedicated the last fifteen years of my life to caring for this beautiful girl. I…
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