Posts Tagged ‘brother’
We Have Perfected Splitting Up
We were standing in a group of friends. Sawyer and I. Waiting in line with five other families. Dozens of kids. I watched him subconsciously glance around. Taking it all in. I wonder if he ever realizes that most of these kids, his friends, are his brother’s age. 8. They are talking about scary movies, Pokémon cards and mini doughnuts. As kids do. Part of me thinks he doesn’t even realize Cooper’s age. Probably because his favorites are Barney and First Word Books. I get it. He tugged on my…
Read MoreWhat if he has Autism Mama
You were sitting on the living room floor trying to build a tower with your Legos. At six years old you looked like a teenager sitting there. Your baby face is completely gone. Your legs are getting long. Your hair so blonde and eyes so brown. The baby was all over you. On your legs. In your lap. Pulling at your toys. You kept rotating away from him. But he was onto you. You moved. He moved. I hear you yell, ‘Harbor! You wild baby!’ I looked up and you…
Read MoreBeing A Special Needs Parent Isn’t Something to Fear
I overheard two expectant mamas talking in a Chick-fil-A play area. They sat together on one bench, while their 3-4 year old boys played together, and they each were expecting a boy. I watched my own two boys play with these soon to be big brothers. These mamas chatted about pregnancy woes and pediatricians. And then the conversation took an unexpected turn. One of the mamas confessed that she’s constantly having fears that something will go wrong with the baby. It even keeps her up at night. What if her…
Read MoreThe Role of a Big Brother
I know being his big brother is different than you imagined… You were 4 when I was pregnant with our rainbow baby. You knew mommy was pregnant before this but the baby didn’t make it and we would try again. You were beyond excited. You told me you secretly wished it would be a sister but you were totally ok if it turns out to be a brother. After we found out for sure it was a boy you exclaimed “oh, I change my mind mommy I’m so excited to…
Read MoreMy Son, Please Choose a Partner who will Love your Brother
Sawyer, I want to say thank you. Thank you for being mine. For being here. For growing up. For keeping me firmly grounded in reality. For being easy. And simple. And letting autism be in control when it needs to be. Thank you for asking me questions. And telling me stories. For playing sports. And having playdates and birthday parties. Thank you for giving me all the milestones and memories that a mother dreams of. But mostly, thank you for being you. I want to tell you a few things.…
Read MoreA Letter to the Siblings of Kids with Special Needs
My son said to me today, “ I want home to be fun”. So, I wrote both of my boys a letter. It’s long, but my heart was heavy. A letter to my boys ( and other siblings) of newly diagnosed kids with special needs: No one told you your path in this world would take a sudden turn. It would get bumpy and rocky and sometimes you’d be hanging on for dear life to the edge of mom’s last ounce of patience before it would straighten out for a…
Read MoreHis Big Brother
This baby is so in love with his older brother. He stares at him. Follows him everywhere. Wants to be right next to him. Touches his things. Giggles at his sounds. Climbs on him. He isn’t scared. He doesn’t know he’s nonverbal. Autism isn’t a thing to him. This is his big brother. His amazing big brother. And Cooper is doing unbelievable tolerating him. 10 months ago I was so scared. Tears of worry were shed. They are growing up together. I can’t wait to see where this relationship ends…
Read MoreWhy is he the Hardest One?
‘Mama, I want to get a bait caster. It’s for fishing. Then I can catch huge ones like dad.’ Pause. Silence. ‘Mama, when you chew gum and then drink water, does it feel weird in your mouth?’ ‘Sometimes I guess.’ ‘Yeah, I don’t like it one bit. Maybe I won’t chew gum anymore. But I like gum. Maybe I won’t drink water. Yes, that’s a better idea.’ Giggle. Pause. Silence. ‘Mama, what is 6 plus 6?’ ’12 buddy.’ ‘Oh, what’s 12 plus 6 because that’s how many bait casters that…
Read MoreLetting him Experience Life without Me
This one. This one right here. He was the little for almost six years. Now he’s the middle. In a way he’s always been the oldest. He knows that. I know that. It used to be unspoken about. Until one day he asked me. He said, ‘I’m the older brother, aren’t I mom?’ I smiled. I cried. I hugged him. He knew. He loves fishing, riding bike, playing baseball and hockey. He loves being away from home. Being gone. Doing stuff. Socializing. He has no time for movies or iPads.…
Read MoreI Love Holding Your Hand Mama
‘Sawyer, hold onto your brother on the dock.’ I was climbing out of the boat, holding a baby, a pop and two bags. Sawyer and Cooper were out long before me and were headed towards our truck. Which, in most cases wouldn’t be a big deal. But in our world, it is. We have to be very, very careful. Cooper, our son with autism, is a runner. He bolts, he drops, he flops, he runs, and he sits. And rarely does he walk in a straight line. He also typically…
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